Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He's disappeared after I sent a pic of myself

140 replies

Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 20:04

Hi 👋 I just needed somewhere to vent this .
I met a man two months ago ( so he has seen what I look like face to face ) while I was out with friends for my birthday drinks.
We chatted, flirted & swapped numbers.
Since then we have been chatting back and forth, we've also arranged to meet up next week.
We added each other on social media also.
So lots of pics of me on there for him to see and vice versa.
He sent me a photo of himself at work yesterday morning, I had a day off and was out walking , I sent one back. It wasn't the most glamorous pic, but very natural and I look like myself still.
He instantly msg back wow you look stunning 😍 I then msg back thank u and he said he had to go back to work .
I said enjoy your day.
He hasn't msg since then, nothing. It seems he has ghosted me.
I just feel a bit low as I have a feeling it was the pic I sent him 😔 it's got me feeling all insecure , I've showed the pic to two very honest friends and they have said its a lovely photo , they would say if it was bad.
He obviously didn't like it 🙄

OP posts:
Agapornis · 08/01/2025 00:01

Lost his phone, family emergency, the dog ate it...

You could never date me, replying a day later would be super fast for me 😅

Gunnersforthecup · 08/01/2025 08:47

Yikesthathurt · 07/01/2025 21:40

Honestly, who cares OP. If he honestly took against you for 1 pic, best find out early he’s a shallow prick.

Absolutely this x

SleeplikeababyTonight · 08/01/2025 10:16

BlueSky2024 · 07/01/2025 21:39

Why on earth would you assume that to be the most likely reason? There could be any number of reasons why he hadn’t contacted her in the last 24hrs

Show quote history

I assumed this is a reason, because it happened to my friend. She had been messaging a man she met on a night out. He took forever to ask her on a date, then ghosted. Turned out he wasn't over his ex, who had broken it off with him. Ex then decided she would give it another shot. The man had been keeping her as an option.

My friend only found out after seeing his Facebook page. It isn't the 'norm' to message for months and not meet within that time. To me, something else has been going on at the same time. It isn't a case of op and the man seeing each other regularly, then he ghosts.
IMO, he has either got back with an ex, or met somebody else.

Of course 24 hours isnt long, but from what op said, this isn't usual.

What other likely reason do you suggest for not meeting up for all of that time, then ghosting?
It looks like the man still hasn't been in touch? It takes seconds to send a text saying, sorry something has happened, update later. Maybe op will get a message, I don't know.

BlueSky2024 · 08/01/2025 10:48

SleeplikeababyTonight · 08/01/2025 10:16

I assumed this is a reason, because it happened to my friend. She had been messaging a man she met on a night out. He took forever to ask her on a date, then ghosted. Turned out he wasn't over his ex, who had broken it off with him. Ex then decided she would give it another shot. The man had been keeping her as an option.

My friend only found out after seeing his Facebook page. It isn't the 'norm' to message for months and not meet within that time. To me, something else has been going on at the same time. It isn't a case of op and the man seeing each other regularly, then he ghosts.
IMO, he has either got back with an ex, or met somebody else.

Of course 24 hours isnt long, but from what op said, this isn't usual.

What other likely reason do you suggest for not meeting up for all of that time, then ghosting?
It looks like the man still hasn't been in touch? It takes seconds to send a text saying, sorry something has happened, update later. Maybe op will get a message, I don't know.

Edited
Show quote history

Read The OP’s posts, she has already given a reason why they didn’t meet up for so long, and as I said there could be any number of reasons why someone Dosen’t reply in 24hrs

MsWondering · 08/01/2025 10:50

He might be unwell with something which is why he hasn’t messaged.

SleeplikeababyTonight · 08/01/2025 11:01

BlueSky2024 · 08/01/2025 10:48

Read The OP’s posts, she has already given a reason why they didn’t meet up for so long, and as I said there could be any number of reasons why someone Dosen’t reply in 24hrs

Show quote history

Yes, and meeting somebody else is a valid and common one, given they're not even in a relationship, and op hasn't met him, despite him having tried numerous times. Has op been back to update, I don't think she has.

BlueSky2024 · 08/01/2025 11:11

SleeplikeababyTonight · 08/01/2025 11:01

Yes, and meeting somebody else is a valid and common one, given they're not even in a relationship, and op hasn't met him, despite him having tried numerous times. Has op been back to update, I don't think she has.

Edited
Show quote history

I would not say as you have said that it is the most likely reason though as there could be many more possibilities just as likely, you are jumping to conclusions which aren’t based on anything

iamnotalemon · 08/01/2025 11:41

RaininSummer · 07/01/2025 20:23

If these men really do put so much store in pictures then they are not worth your time or angst. You will have a lifetime of grief in a relationship with a person like that and never feel secure.

I have to agree. If he's that way inclined to 'ghost you' after seeing a natural picture, then just let him go. He sounds immature.

SleeplikeababyTonight · 08/01/2025 13:51

BlueSky2024 · 08/01/2025 11:11

I would not say as you have said that it is the most likely reason though as there could be many more possibilities just as likely, you are jumping to conclusions which aren’t based on anything

Show quote history

This is based on my opinion, which is what MN is for. I stand by this opinion; it isn't fact. Nobody knows, it is all just speculation. Thank you for your 'opinion.'

Owwwwwww · 08/01/2025 15:07

Any contact from him today OP?

Waterboatlass · 08/01/2025 15:54

If he hasn't replied I would assume it's nothing to do with looks, it's just lost momentum and he was happy enough with you as someone to chat to for a bit.

I noticed a lot of men were happy to do this when dating, just accept the company and then drift off when an actual date became more real. I was never sure whether that was because they weren't actually that into dating, they'd said something they regretted or I was nice enough company for a chinwag but they knew what they wanted and didn't see a future.

I soon tightened up on how long I'd chat before a date and only one call/ video call of they requested. No more than an hour max. I know your holiday couldn't be helped but if a wait comes up maybe a drink or coffee in person before you have time for something big?

Billydavey · 08/01/2025 16:03

Pyjamatimenow · 07/01/2025 22:48

Men don’t wait two months after first meet for a date. He was never going to date you. He was just using the texting as a bit of ego massage/ amusement while he was bored

It was op who was unable to find time to date

was she just using him as an ego massage or is that just what you assume from the man but not the woman…

Objectrelations · 08/01/2025 22:49

I need to know if he got back to her!

MrsResponder · 08/01/2025 23:08

Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 21:09

Actually it was me that couldn't make the date until now. I had a full calender the first month after we met & I was away for 3 weeks over Xmas , we were planning to meet next week

Edited
Show quote history

It might be the opposite. He's seen this unposed and unfiltered picture which is, by his own admission, stunning and he's feeling like he might not be good enough?

That, or he's fallen down a well and is fading off this mortal coil, bruised, battered, alone with no signal and fading charge, staring at your wonderous visage while contemplating what could have been.

It's never that complicated with the right person. So either he'll be in touch soon and all will be well. Or he was never the right one for you and you've dodged it early.

I haven't got to the end of the thread so I'm rooting for a perfectly lovely text explanation from him by now.

Roxietrees · 26/04/2025 13:41

Don’t agree with posters saying he wouldn’t make the stunning comment if he was going to ghost. He might’ve said it cos he felt bad and wanted you to think the ghosting was not related to the pic. HOWEVER I think it’s highly unlikely it was the pic that made him ghost you - you’ve met in person. That’s pretty much a guarantee that it’s not cos of the pic, if he’d only seen other photos of you/your SM then I’d suspect it was the photo but if you’ve met someone in person you have a full rounded picture of what they look like/their mannerisms/if he was attracted to you, everything. It could be literally anything in his life that’s made him go quiet, you don’t know what he’s got going on

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread