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Original poster

He's disappeared after I sent a pic of myself

140 replies

Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 20:04

Hi 👋 I just needed somewhere to vent this .
I met a man two months ago ( so he has seen what I look like face to face ) while I was out with friends for my birthday drinks.
We chatted, flirted & swapped numbers.
Since then we have been chatting back and forth, we've also arranged to meet up next week.
We added each other on social media also.
So lots of pics of me on there for him to see and vice versa.
He sent me a photo of himself at work yesterday morning, I had a day off and was out walking , I sent one back. It wasn't the most glamorous pic, but very natural and I look like myself still.
He instantly msg back wow you look stunning 😍 I then msg back thank u and he said he had to go back to work .
I said enjoy your day.
He hasn't msg since then, nothing. It seems he has ghosted me.
I just feel a bit low as I have a feeling it was the pic I sent him 😔 it's got me feeling all insecure , I've showed the pic to two very honest friends and they have said its a lovely photo , they would say if it was bad.
He obviously didn't like it 🙄

OP posts:
Berlinlover · 07/01/2025 20:57

Shubbypubby · 07/01/2025 20:48

Two months is too long to spend texting without a meeting. Sounds like a time waster. Most likely explanation is other options/women around.

Go back and read the OP again 🙄

Pinkypup · 07/01/2025 21:02

He may have lost his phone…..

mummypigoink · 07/01/2025 21:02

MaiAamWaliHun · 07/01/2025 20:45

Who the f*ck knows what is going on in his head. It is nothing to do with you, it's all him. Sadly sometimes men seem great then it is revealed they are total knobends. Don't bother yourself more over it OP.

This. This. And this again.

OP, you know what your messaging pattern was like, so you know when it’s changed.

The rubbish has taken itself out because it’s just fucking rude to do this.

Shubbypubby · 07/01/2025 21:06

@Berlinlover I have - they met once then spent two months texting to arrange the next date. That's too long - it's a waste of time and shows he's not serious about wanting to date. Lots of men are happy to have numerous women in their phone books/as text pals- they like keeping them as an option.

Original poster
Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 21:09

Shubbypubby · 07/01/2025 21:06

@Berlinlover I have - they met once then spent two months texting to arrange the next date. That's too long - it's a waste of time and shows he's not serious about wanting to date. Lots of men are happy to have numerous women in their phone books/as text pals- they like keeping them as an option.

Actually it was me that couldn't make the date until now. I had a full calender the first month after we met & I was away for 3 weeks over Xmas , we were planning to meet next week

OP posts:
PlopSofa · 07/01/2025 21:09

dontcryformeargentina · 07/01/2025 20:50

  1. It's nothing to do with your picture.
  2. You are too invested
  3. Multidate or keep yourself busy with other things

Good advice. You can't fall for someone so quickly. You barely know him. Take a massive step back and give yourself a good talking to.

No one deserves your respect or trust so early on, no matter what's been exchanged to date.

For the sake of your heart, be more wary.

Michellesbackbrace · 07/01/2025 21:09

Shubbypubby · 07/01/2025 21:06

@Berlinlover I have - they met once then spent two months texting to arrange the next date. That's too long - it's a waste of time and shows he's not serious about wanting to date. Lots of men are happy to have numerous women in their phone books/as text pals- they like keeping them as an option.

Yeah I actually agree with this - he’s not that interested if he hasn’t arranged to meet you again after two months. I know men like this - they just take every woman’s number who’ll give it to them and string them along for an ego boost. It’s like a game to them, what you’d call a “player” - I doubt he’s any interest in being with one woman.

MumonabikeE5 · 07/01/2025 21:12

This happened yesterday.
people have lives outside of their phones.
surely you can’t call it ghosting until a week has passed?

FerretChops · 07/01/2025 21:12

Is this what we do now? Meet someone and then have some sort of texting tennis game with them for months?

I think that's where the real issue is. You've built up a false messaging online relationship. He's clearly not that bothered about meeting up if it's been 8 weeks in the planning

I could be wrong but I think you're flogging a dead horse here. The building of a relationship happens in person and not online - all he's done for the past 2 months is send out h the best version of himself and as your meet creeps closer he's realised he doesn't want it

You can do better OP. Ditch

fairycakes1234 · 07/01/2025 21:15

If he hasn't read your last message maybe something is up,I wouldn't rule it out just yet. Let us know what happens

Original poster
Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 21:15

Michellesbackbrace · 07/01/2025 21:09

Yeah I actually agree with this - he’s not that interested if he hasn’t arranged to meet you again after two months. I know men like this - they just take every woman’s number who’ll give it to them and string them along for an ego boost. It’s like a game to them, what you’d call a “player” - I doubt he’s any interest in being with one woman.

Show quote history

It was me that couldn't meet. He's been consistently asking for dates

OP posts:
Shubbypubby · 07/01/2025 21:15

@Powderpinkpenguin he's probably been texting other women/meeting them and or got fed up of waiting. It's not the pic- nothing at all to do with that.

Original poster
Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 21:17

FerretChops · 07/01/2025 21:12

Is this what we do now? Meet someone and then have some sort of texting tennis game with them for months?

I think that's where the real issue is. You've built up a false messaging online relationship. He's clearly not that bothered about meeting up if it's been 8 weeks in the planning

I could be wrong but I think you're flogging a dead horse here. The building of a relationship happens in person and not online - all he's done for the past 2 months is send out h the best version of himself and as your meet creeps closer he's realised he doesn't want it

You can do better OP. Ditch

Please rtwt it was me that couldn't meet until next week , not him, he's been trying to set a date for ages

OP posts:
MillieMollusc · 07/01/2025 21:17

Whatever it is I think he's lost interest. Banish him from your thoughts and move on.

WooleyMunky · 07/01/2025 21:19

OP I really doubt it is anything to do with your pic.

Men are just twats.

I am so fucking thankful that I did all of my dating before this dreadfulness.

Laiste · 07/01/2025 21:19

Has he been active on other social media?

If he's on whatsapp can you see when he was last on?

I mean - is he definitely alive and kicking but just not responding to you?

PlopSofa · 07/01/2025 21:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Soontobe60 · 07/01/2025 21:21

Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 20:14

I won't be giving him a call , no way 😂

So you wont call him, but think he should be continually messaging you?

FancyExpert · 07/01/2025 21:22

Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 21:17

Please rtwt it was me that couldn't meet until next week , not him, he's been trying to set a date for ages

Show quote history

But it's an epic amount of time to be playing WhatsApp ping-pong. He might've got bored waiting or he in communication with someone else and it's moving on at a skightly faster pace. It happens, sadly.

Bessienol · 07/01/2025 21:22

For the love of god please can people stop suggesting calling him 😅

Jumborollers · 07/01/2025 21:22

OP don't go with all the cool girls on here, if they want to give men passes all the time and end up in shit situationships that's their lives to get on with.
You know wether this is off or not within the context of your contacts with him in for the last two months. He is showing you who he is and how he rolls: it's for you to determine if you're ok with it or not.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 07/01/2025 21:23

He might have met someone.

Whe. I was single we either met in the following two weeks or not at all.

If someone is interested they will make the effort.

If I was him I'd be sick of waiting.

JustCrow · 07/01/2025 21:23

I’m going to offer a - probably unpopular - alternate possibility.

Speaking personally, looks wise I’m rather plain verging on unattractive. However I scrub up enough to take me from a natural 5 to an 8.

I have absolutely no doubt that some men who chatted me up in the pub back in the day, would have gone swiftly into reverse if I’d sent them a pic minus makeup/hair done etc before they’d had a chance to properly get to know my sparkling personality and superior bedroom skills.

If seeing you au naturel has put him off - well more fool him.

Jumborollers · 07/01/2025 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

🙄They have a date planned for next week.

PlopSofa · 07/01/2025 21:25

Jumborollers · 07/01/2025 21:23

🙄They have a date planned for next week.

Show quote history

Well he's probably gone into man mode. Compartmentalised this part of his life and getting on with other stuff.

OP should do the same.