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Original poster

He's disappeared after I sent a pic of myself

140 replies

Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 20:04

Hi 👋 I just needed somewhere to vent this .
I met a man two months ago ( so he has seen what I look like face to face ) while I was out with friends for my birthday drinks.
We chatted, flirted & swapped numbers.
Since then we have been chatting back and forth, we've also arranged to meet up next week.
We added each other on social media also.
So lots of pics of me on there for him to see and vice versa.
He sent me a photo of himself at work yesterday morning, I had a day off and was out walking , I sent one back. It wasn't the most glamorous pic, but very natural and I look like myself still.
He instantly msg back wow you look stunning 😍 I then msg back thank u and he said he had to go back to work .
I said enjoy your day.
He hasn't msg since then, nothing. It seems he has ghosted me.
I just feel a bit low as I have a feeling it was the pic I sent him 😔 it's got me feeling all insecure , I've showed the pic to two very honest friends and they have said its a lovely photo , they would say if it was bad.
He obviously didn't like it 🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 20:22

Bessienol · 07/01/2025 20:19

Trust me men don’t think like that 😂

Show quote history

What's your honest opinion as a man then? I'm interested to hear please

OP posts:
RaininSummer · 07/01/2025 20:23

If these men really do put so much store in pictures then they are not worth your time or angst. You will have a lifetime of grief in a relationship with a person like that and never feel secure.

Owwwwwww · 07/01/2025 20:26

Maybe he had beer goggles on when he met you IRL so he was shocked when he saw your photo?
Dump him, not worth worrying about

MolkosTeenageAngst · 07/01/2025 20:28

Have you messaged him? Your conversation ended but it doesn’t sound like you have tried to start one back up. He hasn’t ghosted you if you haven’t tried to contact him, he just hasn’t initiated anything. He might just be busy! At least try and make contact before you start assuming he’s ghosting you and become uninterested!

hedgehogsinthehedgerow · 07/01/2025 20:28

I'd guess this is not to do with you or the pic at all- but perhaps something like an ex has come back on the scene or some other thing. Or he could have come down with a bug or lost his phone.

Original poster
Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 20:28

Owwwwwww · 07/01/2025 20:26

Maybe he had beer goggles on when he met you IRL so he was shocked when he saw your photo?
Dump him, not worth worrying about

I would think that if he hadn't seen my social media as there are some very casual natural ones on there , he said he had loved them all. Do men just lie ?

OP posts:
Edenmum2 · 07/01/2025 20:31

But if you haven't messaged him either then he could be assuming that you've ghosted him too...you both sent pics and I'm assuming both said nice things...then neither of you have said anything else.

Jumborollers · 07/01/2025 20:31

I would do nothing, but consider myself warned.
If/when he 'comes back', I wouldn't ask for/ care for /believe/ask for any explanations and I wouldn't carry on where we left things; he'd be back to square minus 1 (2,3,4...one for each day of silence), one week he's as good as dead to me as a potential partner.
Consider things strictly from the point of view of your own feelings, your own boundaries and values. Once you accept something it sets a precedent, think of what you are prepared to tolerate.

OneBrightAzureBiscuit · 07/01/2025 20:33

I wouldn’t be messing around with him. A man who’s genuinely interested and likes you a lot would pursue you. Men are wired to chase women they really like. If you second guess a man, he’s probably not the one for you. Wasted years on a lowlife and accepted not even the bare minimum. Send a text if you must but women should never do the chasing. I’m fed up of this women can propose to men bs. Just NO

Owwwwwww · 07/01/2025 20:33

Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 20:28

I would think that if he hadn't seen my social media as there are some very casual natural ones on there , he said he had loved them all. Do men just lie ?

Show quote history

You’ve answered your own post then as it isn’t the photo. What is the point of your post?

Original poster
Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 20:37

Edenmum2 · 07/01/2025 20:31

But if you haven't messaged him either then he could be assuming that you've ghosted him too...you both sent pics and I'm assuming both said nice things...then neither of you have said anything else.

He's not even opened my last msg

OP posts:
Original poster
Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 20:37

The enjoy your day one

OP posts:
Original poster
Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 20:38

Owwwwwww · 07/01/2025 20:33

You’ve answered your own post then as it isn’t the photo. What is the point of your post?

Show quote history

I'm not sure 😕 just confused I guess

OP posts:
AConcernedCitizen · 07/01/2025 20:39

1 - He's already seen you in public so knows what you look like.

2 - He complemented the picture as soon as you sent it, so you know it isn't because of the picture

3 - It's been a day.

I'd say if he saw this thread he'd have a much more valid reason for ghosting you.

Original poster
Powderpinkpenguin · 07/01/2025 20:39

OneBrightAzureBiscuit · 07/01/2025 20:33

I wouldn’t be messing around with him. A man who’s genuinely interested and likes you a lot would pursue you. Men are wired to chase women they really like. If you second guess a man, he’s probably not the one for you. Wasted years on a lowlife and accepted not even the bare minimum. Send a text if you must but women should never do the chasing. I’m fed up of this women can propose to men bs. Just NO

Thank you. I won't be double messaging him ever! Not my style at all. I agree with you

OP posts:
H112 · 07/01/2025 20:41

Even though he met you in person that's a weird thing to do. Why hasn't he messaged you??

If he really liked you you'd know. You deserve better.

Basketballhoop · 07/01/2025 20:44

Are you always an overthinker/analyser?
He could have read the message by swiping down, or on a smart watch and it won't show as opened/read.
It was yesterday. Barely 24 hours without contact is not ghosting.

You are meant to be meeting up next week. If that doesn't happen, then fair enough, you are ghosted. Or at least, not proceeding as a relationship.

PassMeTheCookies · 07/01/2025 20:44

Maybe he's lost his phone?

MaiAamWaliHun · 07/01/2025 20:45

Who the f*ck knows what is going on in his head. It is nothing to do with you, it's all him. Sadly sometimes men seem great then it is revealed they are total knobends. Don't bother yourself more over it OP.

Shubbypubby · 07/01/2025 20:48

Two months is too long to spend texting without a meeting. Sounds like a time waster. Most likely explanation is other options/women around.

StMarie4me · 07/01/2025 20:50

One day!

Message not opened.

Good grief. Overthinking this OP! Just relax.

dontcryformeargentina · 07/01/2025 20:50
  1. It's nothing to do with your picture.
  2. You are too invested
  3. Multidate or keep yourself busy with other things
Shoemadlady · 07/01/2025 20:53

Maybe his battery went flat and he left his charger at work. Maybe he's busy. Could be anything but doubt it's your photo if he's already seen you in the flesh.

SabreIsMyFave · 07/01/2025 20:55

I agree with the majority @Powderpinkpenguin It's been a DAY.

Chill.

If he doesn't message by say, Thursday - then message him yeah, but not now.

Michellesbackbrace · 07/01/2025 20:55

KitschenCupboards · 07/01/2025 20:07

What?
It was yesterday morning and he said you looked stunning?

You sound a bit intense??

This. What makes you think he’s ghosting you? It was literally yesterday? Maybe he’s ill or been run over! Or maybe he’s just busy.

This intensity of modern day relationships really bemuses me- when dh and I first met mobiles hadn’t been around long and we would only message one another a few times a week in the first few months or so, usually just to make arrangements to meet.

It’s bonkers nowadays - if someone isn’t constantly messaging you’ve been “ghosted” and they’re not into you apparently- so much angst! Just get on with your life and stop stressing.