Humiliated by DH

[TheMossEnthusiast]

We were having a lovely dinner out to celebrate my recent promotion and we decided to share a dessert.
I asked for 2 spoons for the dessert but my husband pointed out that there were already two spoons set out on the table.
The waiter (a man) chuckled and left.
I felt so stupid. My DH could have told me when he'd gone. Aibu to feel humiliated?

Op is at perfect liberty to fill in the gaps, should there actually be any.
”It hardly requires a mind reader” is slightly ironic, really, given that you’ve taken op’s post and read so much more into it than most people would have, or indeed, possibly more than op ever intended.

What's the backstory and/or the dripfeed?

Something is clearly wrong on one side or the other - either OP being wildly oversensitive or DP having a history of making slight digs leading to the straw that broke the camel's back. But no way to say with the info given.

Exactly. Just laugh it off.

I hope you’re alright @TheMossEnthusiast because you’re getting a rough ride. It’s not something I’d be arsed by my DP saying however he’d never do something to make me feel humiliated on purpose? Did you feel your dh was trying to be snarky?

and why on earth are you sharing pudding? Anyone shares my pudding and it’s LTB territory 😁

You understand what "possibly" means? I haven't read anything into it. I'm keeping an open mind.

The viciousness on this thread is quite staggering. For a bunch of people (adults!) who think this is definitely a non-event, you sure are getting worked up about it. OP has been called all sorts of nasty names, totally without provocation.

How was the waiter a twat? He just chuckled - which is treating it light-heartedly. Better that than looking serious, surely.

Uhm - he said it when the waiter was there because he didn't want to send him off on a needless errand?

What? Can't see anything remotely humiliating about that. I'd have looked and said "oh yeah" then carried on whatever we were talking about

I think OP has wound them up and watched them go. It’s worked out pretty nicely too, total bun fight about nothing.

Reverse. That’s the sort of thing a male would get snarky about.

I imagine there’ll be a tsunami of a drip feed soon, since op’s been told there really is nothing humiliating in the event as told.

Come back op and tell us if it was a reverse or there is more to the story.
Dont leave us in suspense

Unless your husband hooted with laughter and rattled the spoons off your head, I'm not seeing how he humiliated you. If he had said nothing wouldn't the waiter have pointed out there were already two spoons on the table? If the waiter brought another spoon then you might have realised you had three and felt embarrassed. Do you feel your husband frequently makes fun of you?

If the waiter had said "Yes madam I'll get you a ladle " then that would be twatty behaviour .

.

I am wondering if there is more context here so as to understand your reaction. On the face of it, I think your husband just responded in the moment when you asked for 2 spoons and he realised you already had them.

But was it the way he said it that made you feel undermined within the context of this meal being to celebrate your promotion and it was a way of saying you’re not all that?

Or was it the fact the waiter chuckled that impacted you? It’s not nice to feel laughed at.

Or was it a fancy place and you were feeling uncomfortable?

But unless there is more to be told, this would be a completely non event for me.

Yes, I hate it when they do that. 😉

Unless the DH was trying to imply "Yeah right 2 spoons , just saying that for show , She;ll have that Chocolate Lava Cake inhaled before the plate touches the table. I won;t see a crumb " ...that isn't nice .

I'm with you OP nothing worst then when you are out for dinner and you decide to share a desert and either the company or the establishment can't facilitate it.

The spoons that you speak of were they specifically desert spoons or could they of mistakenly been soup spoons? Did you have soup and did not use the correct spoons for the soup and the restaurant thought you are both so without etiquette you would not notice?

To avoid this in future I would suggest that you do as myself and my husband do whenever we are eating out. We take your own desert spoons and of course they are solid silver. Just make sure you take them home with you after you have enjoyed your meal! x

Girl you need to learn how to let stuff go. This situation is absolutely nothing to feel anything about. Find the humor in it. Maybe say one of the following

Oh!
My bad!
New glasses coming right up!
Never mind waiter, thank you
If it were a snake I'd be bitten right now!

It's not good to get in your feelings and imagine being slighted every time you turn around. Makes you unnecessarily miserable.

Ha ! yes , just say "He who sups with the Devil will need a long spoon" and demand a Latte Spoon

So. You made a mistake. We all do it, and it matters nothing. But your solution to it was that the waiter should completely waste his time bringing duplicate spoons to the table rather than it be pointed out? That's really entitled of you,

Yes but what?? We don’t know unless we are told and you can only give advice going off the OP

OP, I’m struggling to see the issue here. Anyone could’ve missed the fact that two spoons were already on the table, my DH would done the same and pointed out they were already there, I would’ve probably joked that I needed to go to SpecSavers and the waiter would probably have laughed even more.
Lighten up, we are human, we all get it wrong, make mistakes, there was nothing to feel humiliated about and I don’t see that your DH did anything wrong.
Be kind to yourself, and massive congratulations on your promotion 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻