New Boyfriend Gambling

[snickersandmars]

I've recently started seeing someone and I've noticed he gambles a lot.

It doesn't seem to affect him money wise, he works, earns and has a house and savings so I don't think he's getting in debt over it which would bother me.

It's just annoying me as I'm very sensible money wise ( I have to be).

He pays for everything when we are together so it's not like I'm financing the habit.

Advice please?

You need help too.

What??!!

what a load of bollocks.

What on earth is wrong with what I wrote? It is completely accurate.

Why on earth do I need help?

He's either won something or inherited but either way he's going through it like a knife through butter and that isn't behavior you want if you're after a stable partnership. I'd be out.

Yeah you may be the lucky one once but Gambling doesn't end ' even ish' it's designed for you to lose.
His gambling is bothering you greatly , don't think you'll get over it. You won't. Leave

Can you share how you've concluded a loss of 5%?!

I started becoming addicted to gambling and I can assure you it was more like a loss of 100% since I ended up being about 4k down overall...
I have restricted myself on all gambling sites so I can't do it anymore.

5% on turnover can of course lead to 100% loss of your betting bank if you repeatedly turnover the same money often enough.

However the OP refers to £50 per day but doesn’t make it clear if that is turnover or losses. If it is the former then losses will
e a fraction of that.

£50 a day is a lot even if he can afford it. You say it doesn't affect him now, but wait until he starts losing regularly, because he will & then he will keep throwing good money after bad until it's all gone and then some, chasing the next big win that will get him out of it and on the up again. It's an addiction, a seasoned gambler will bet on absolutely anything even two raindrops racing down a window pane and they will stop at nothing to cover their tracks, get more funds to keep on gambling and pay debts. I would break up with him, before you get too attached.

Please, please do not get involved with this man. Gambling has pretty much dominated my life a̶n̶d̶ a̶l̶m̶o̶s̶t̶ f̶u̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ r̶u̶i̶n̶e̶d̶ i̶t̶ for the past 30 years (I’m not the addict) and I am telling you that at £50 a day he’s 100% addicted. Run as if you were being chased by a killer. Believe me, I know!!!!!

Agree 100% with @Prettydisgustingactually . What is also disgusting is the amount of advertising for gambling you see on line and in TV. Making out it’s fun and the people who participate are knowing and cool.

I spoke to him.

Turns out he doesn't think it's a lot. He has banned himself for 5 years from playing on his phone. Apparently he self banned himself as he said he spent way more than now so thinks this isn't a large amount now, God knows what he spent back then!!!!

When I asked why he said it was boredom and he wouldn't if he couldn't afford to.

It would be an immediate no from me. That’s £18k a year

He's an addict and a liar. Like I said previously, gamblers become adept liars to cover their tracks.

Nobody is spending that amount out of 'boredom' it is addiction and it will be more than that too.

He's building a nest in your ear. By all means date the guy, just don't live together or enmesh your finances.

So you haven't been seeing him very long but you've seen his savings? Seems unlikely.

Yes, because men never try to impress with their wealth do they? Unheard of...

He is indeed a gambler and a liar to boot.

Self banning from gambling websites rarely if ever works in the short term, let alone long term. He trying to break a gambling addiction by himself is a nigh on impossible task.

Run fast and run far OP. He will ruin you emotionally as well as financially if you were to stay with him. Look at yourself here OP, do you fall all too quickly for such men?. What attracted you to him in the first place anyway?.

The banning himself on his phone puts me in mind of the fact that alcoholics will often go a month without drinking to prove that they can...

Why is he paying for everything?

So he knows he’s got a problem, because he’s banned himself on the phone. Doesn’t stop him playing elsewhere.

Can you suggest he takes up a hobby. Golf?

Doesn't sound like much of a conversation, you still have no idea how he has so much money from a manual job and with so many financial commitments. It's still unclear why you even know so much about his savings in this new relationship? Also, he's bored?! Three months into a new relationship, really? Is gambling the only way he can think of to spend £18K a year? He could take up several new hobbies for that amount of money if he really wanted to.

Imagine the holidays he could have each year with the 18k to stem the "boredom".

Has he explained how he can afford to spend more than he earns?

...or paying 18k each year off his mortgage plus whatever he oays in rent instead of renting - he could have a lovely home.

Yeah you are all right. I just can't see this working. I think I need to get out now.

It was a horse yesterday that won, he then said he put about 5 on first that had lost.

This is so miserably depressing, I finally thought I'd met someone decent and now this.

Good point, imagine the holidays you could have, boredom isn't really a great excuse is it.

I still don't know how he's got all this, unless his job pays more than I think.

He showed me his bank accounts one day, in a showing off kind of way saying look I can afford it, don't worry.