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Original poster

New Boyfriend Gambling

146 replies

snickersandmars · 01/01/2025 12:16

I've recently started seeing someone and I've noticed he gambles a lot.

It doesn't seem to affect him money wise, he works, earns and has a house and savings so I don't think he's getting in debt over it which would bother me.

It's just annoying me as I'm very sensible money wise ( I have to be).

He pays for everything when we are together so it's not like I'm financing the habit.

Advice please?

OP posts:
Original poster
snickersandmars · 01/01/2025 13:29

I've seen his bank account with a huge amount in.

No debts, it's not adding up.

OP posts:
Original poster
snickersandmars · 01/01/2025 13:29

He wins sometimes yeah £100 here and there.

OP posts:
MissScarletInTheBallroom · 01/01/2025 13:30

snickersandmars · 01/01/2025 12:23

From what I've seen so far about £50 a day!!!

It seems he's always been like this but then he owns a home, I've seen his savings etc.

So about £1500 per month??

Imagine him spending that on gambling rather than on your child.

Get rid.

Original poster
snickersandmars · 01/01/2025 13:30

In last week he's won £300, but I don't know what he's put on.

OP posts:
LivingLaVidaBabyShower · 01/01/2025 13:32

snickersandmars · 01/01/2025 12:23

From what I've seen so far about £50 a day!!!

It seems he's always been like this but then he owns a home, I've seen his savings etc.

Each to their own.

its a no from me.

i couldn’t deal with the anxiety / stress of him gambling that frequently especially if you married / had kids 🤯

Supssups · 01/01/2025 13:32

honestly we are all just going to speculate ...just ask him outright. my bet is on lottery money (ha-not-ha)

Mymanyellow · 01/01/2025 13:34

I couldn’t get over the stupidity. £50 a day £1400 every month? Dick head

TwistedWonder · 01/01/2025 13:35

How new is this relationship? He’s showing you his bank account - that’s a bit bizarre imo. There’s something that doesn’t add up

Mindymomo · 01/01/2025 13:36

Is it the amount or the actual betting that bothers you. All my family bet, DH and adult DS and his GF all spend around £20 per day.

Fluufer · 01/01/2025 13:37

Whether he can "afford" it or not, that's a silly amount of money to be wasting. Would be a deal breaker for me. Way too easy for it to get out of hand if it isn't already.

Original poster
snickersandmars · 01/01/2025 13:38

It's the amount that bothers me I think.

Been together few months.

OP posts:
Horationor · 01/01/2025 13:38

My husband and I enjoy a bet.
But I think £50 a day is excessive.
I maybe bet £20 a week, my OH maybe £40.
It would concern me.

Original poster
snickersandmars · 01/01/2025 13:39

I'm going to ask him, I'll see him later so will try and see how he's managing this.

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 01/01/2025 13:41

He’s living beyond his means. You will by degrees be further dragged into this so I would walk away now.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 01/01/2025 13:42

He will likely deny and or go on the offensive. Look at actions here, not mere words.

MudpiesinEssex · 01/01/2025 13:44

snickersandmars · 01/01/2025 12:23

From what I've seen so far about £50 a day!!!

It seems he's always been like this but then he owns a home, I've seen his savings etc.

Does this mean he loses £50 a day?

Original poster
snickersandmars · 01/01/2025 13:45

No, he doesn't seem to always lose. It seems about even from what he's told me.

OP posts:
Original poster
snickersandmars · 01/01/2025 13:46

And what I've seen him collecting. Even ish

OP posts:
MudpiesinEssex · 01/01/2025 13:47

So he's not spending anything.

Not that I believe it!

smithey85 · 01/01/2025 13:55

I’ve bet on Saturday football for the last 20 years. It’s pretty common among younger guys and has never been as issue for me as I generally only bet £5-£10 a week. It’s literally the equivalent of a pint down the pub but it’s on football which I am passionate about.

issues arise when gambling effects your daily life, ie not seeing friends or family because there’s a horse race on, or betting on random stuff which you have no interest in. Slots and casinos have never been my bag and I’d worry if I got into that kind of stuff.

daily gambling is worrying and £50 a day is a lot, and very likely to increase. He will be chasing his losses and at some point , even if it doesn’t now, it will affect him financially at some point.

it is said that gambling is one of the hardest addictions to overcome , Paul Merson ( used to play football for Arsenal ) was a coke addict, an alcoholic and a gambling addict. He has admitted that the gambling took over his life far more than the coke and alcohol and even now his wife looks after his money ( what little he has ).

id be very wary OP and from what you have said there are a lot of red flags which won’t likely go away.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 01/01/2025 13:56

Run, do not walk, away from this man.

The time he spends on this and the money he spends on this will only get bigger.

smithey85 · 01/01/2025 13:57

snickersandmars · 01/01/2025 13:45

No, he doesn't seem to always lose. It seems about even from what he's told me.

A gambler will always, without exception; say they are not down. I would estimate that less than 1% of regular gamblers end a 12 month period ‘up’ or ‘even’

TipsyJoker · 01/01/2025 13:58

He probably had a big win at some point by the sounds of it. It’s his money and he can spend it however he likes. He’s taking care of his adult children, he’s paying his bills including his old marital home and his own rent in his new place, he taking you out and paying for everything, he’s not in debt, in fact he’s got a lot of money. I don’t see what the problem is. He seems to have a handle on it. Some people like to go out for a meal and have a drink, some people like to gamble. As long as it’s not an addiction then he can spend his money however he likes. I would see how it goes and at the first sign of him having an issue, dump him.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 01/01/2025 14:07

I’d be asking him how and why he thought his previous marriage ended. Does he take any responsibility for that ending?.

He will have a handle on his betting or so he thinks - until he does not. The wheels will come off. You cannot risk your current standard of living and or security on this man op.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 01/01/2025 14:11

I couldn't and wouldn't be with a gambler. They don't stop and if pushed to, they will lie to you. I was the child of a gambler, we had no money in the family growing up and it blighted all of our lives to varying degrees.

You have different values towards money and currently no skin in the game. Don't allow the relationship to develop, for your sake, it can't go anywhere but bad.