Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boyfriend - subtly hates me?

132 replies

Helloveraa · 28/12/2024 10:19

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 months. When I met him he was so lovely and kind to me - would do anything for me. He is really friendly and nothing was ever too much for him to do for me, and I reciprocated this. He asked me to move in to his house in October.

For the last 2 weeks I’ve found myself crying in the shower or on the verge of tears when he speaks to me. Nothing I ever do it right - I told him to take some honey for his cough which he argued with for an hour but eventually took - it helped after about an hour and he stopped coughing. When I said your cough is a bit better now he said “not because of the honey” and shrugged his shoulders when I asked why he thought it was better.

There’s so many more examples but there so subtle I can’t even remember them. I mentioned it to him a few days ago saying “I’m not sure if I’m being sensitive but it seems I’m annoying you - do you wanna talk about what’s on your mind?” He just said “you’re definitely being sensitive”

he just stares at me sometimes, no emotion on his face at all. Just staring and when I smile back or anything he just carries on starting.

I bought us a meal last night and he didn’t say thank you or anything about it.

I just feel so sad and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

OP posts:
TheGhostOfPatButcher · 09/03/2025 09:13

It feels so subtle, little moods and then saying to me “why are you sulking/being quiet?”

This is baiting OP. He's creating the bad atmosphere, you withdraw, then he gets to accuse you of being quiet/ignoring him. If you question his moods he'll say you're argumentative, if you deny something he says about you that isn't true he'll tell you not to be so defensive.... it goes on and on and on. It's no way to live.

feelingalittlehorse · 09/03/2025 10:39

8 months is still supposed to be the honeymoon period, OP. But saying that, after 8 weeks/ 8 months/ 8years/ 8 decades- doesn’t matter. No one should make you feel so low that you are crying in a shower.

A relationship should add to your life, not create misery. This is early enough on to get out with no drama. And be fool proof in your contraception- this isn’t someone you want to be tied to for life.

feelingalittlehorse · 09/03/2025 10:40

And agree with all the above. Doesn’t matter what your family think, they aren’t dating him. It’s behind closed doors that people show their true colours….

rubberduck68 · 09/03/2025 10:52

He’s gaslighting you - it’s emotional abuse. Please go and stay with a kind friend - someone who can give you a hug, and also give it to you straight. Then send a friend over to get the rest of your stuff. I’ve cried in a couple of showers: it never gets better only worse.

TwistedWonder · 09/03/2025 10:56

OP - this thread started 3 months ago. Please come back and tell us you’ve moved out of this man’s house 🙏

Pyjamatimenow · 09/03/2025 10:57

Move out. Don’t be quick to play house with men. You’re wasting your time here

TheGhostOfPatButcher · 09/03/2025 12:53

TwistedWonder · 09/03/2025 10:56

OP - this thread started 3 months ago. Please come back and tell us you’ve moved out of this man’s house 🙏

Gah, didn't notice that.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread