Domestic abuse but nowhere to go?

[Chloe8909]

My boyfriend is extremely abusive, but I have nowhere to go if I leave
I have a dog too. It has got really bad recently,I have had black eyes and bruises all over but I have no idea what I can do

On Christmas day I took too long walking my dog,so he held me under a cold shower

I had my own apartment before we met but he convinced me to move in with him. I have been so stupid
I don't have much contact with friends anymore and no contact at all with my parents.
He stopped all contact with my family after he asked my dad for a loan for a business and my dad said no. He know my dad has plenty of money,so took this really badly.

I cannot contact my mum or dad for help as I haven't spoken to them for months and bf texted them pretending to be me telling them I want nothing to do with them and many awful things.

I'm stuck with nowhere to go. I can't leave my dog
He's away for a stag do until late Sunday
What can I do ? Just try and save a little money to leave eventually?

I know it's late but I cannot sleep

The Dogs Trust will arrange fostering for your dog while you escape. Please get out, you deserve a so much better than this.

This is awful OP. And this is a perfect opportunity to get the hell out of there. Your parents will not want to see their beautiful child all hurt and bruised.
please do this today and see in the New Year with those who actually love you, because this pig doesn’t! And don’t look back. And don’t tell him you’re leaving.

Your parents will be so relieved to hear from you, they have been missing you, do you understand that?
Please pack up and go while he is away it's the perfect opportunity.
Believe me the relief you will feel once gone is overwhelming.
Good luck xx

Listen… @Chloe8909

Im a mum and I would move heaven and earth to get any of my DCs out of a situation like yours… regardless of what had happened… or what had been said.

I’m hoping as it’s been a while since you posted, that you’ve been in touch with them.

What he has done to you is unforgivable but pretty ‘textbook’ in terms of abuse, as someone has explained upthread.

Make it your New Year’s resolution to be free again.

OP, staying forever to be someone’s punchbag and psychologically tortured is far scarier than having to apologise to your parents. He’s messed your head up so badly you can’t even see that.

Phone your dad. Or text so you can explain in full without getting emotional.

‘Dad, I need your help. Please help. I don’t send those horrible messages to you, X did. He hits me and I’m really scared. Can I come home please? X is away till tomorrow, can you help me get out?’

This. Please call them this morning, don’t wait. If (v unlikely) they don’t respond well, then call the police and women’s aid.

My love for my children will never change regardless of what they ever did/said. I’d always care for them.

Please call your parents and ask them for help.

Go today!!! Well before the arsewipe is back.

Also to say my friend did dog fostering for people (mostly women) escaping abusive relationships. As mentioned above, through dogs trust. You can escape and still keep your dog once settled.

I hope you've called your parents OP and are on your way to them now.

Hi OP,
We're just bobbing on here to say that we're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.
We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our https://www.mumsnet.com/webguide/domestic-violence Domestic
Violence]] page.
Very best wishes from all at MNHQ

Honestly your parents probably already know it’s him . Reach out you have nothing to loose . Easiest time to get away is now whilst he isn’t there.

Please send this. Or ring them. Do it today while he's out.
I have been in your situation and am also a mum myself and your parents will move mountains to help you. As I would do for my children in this situation.

Go to the police now. Report everything

From there call your parents and tell them everything

Now is your opportunity

Today

You stay and you will literally be dead

Or he will kill your dog to teach you a lesson

I would fear my boyfriend seriously injuring or killing me more than I would fear my parents anger and disappointment.

If you can get out and tell the Police, they can help you leave safely, leaving is the most dangerous time.

Everything can be replaced, if your boyfriend goes out today I would take any personal items like passport, birth certificate, empty my drawers into a bin liner and leave. If you can't drive I would still do this, walk a few streets away and call a taxi or your parents tell them you need them, will explain later and that you need to be picked up from X now. If that was my DD I would drop everything and go running.

Monday ring work sick, tell them what has happened incase boyfriend rings them. GPs then tell them everything, do not hold back and get ay remaining injuries documented and et signed off with stress then get some head space to make your next moves.

Do not stay with him. This cannot be your life. You can live in peace and not be terrified of what happens next.

Please please call your parents. I have no doubt that they're worried sick about you and already suspect something is going on in your relationship. Call them, apologise and let them know what's been going on.

Parents don't stop loving their children because they've said or done nasty things. They will want to help you.

Please get out before you and/or your dog end up dead, or you end up pregnant and trying to shield a baby from this awful man who will then be part of your life forever.

if you were my daughter I would want you to come home, whatever you had said to me in the past

I hope you have now called your parents and packed your bags.

You have time and the perfect opportunity to leave and even take a good amount of your things. This opportunity may not happen again so grab it please. I highly doubt your parents will be angry but even if they are I doubt they will turn you away and it's way better than the current situation. Your partner will come back tired and hungover and highly likely to take that out on you.

Listen. You must contact your parents, no matter how awkward or difficult. You must reach out.

Give your parents the phone call they are probably desperately hoping for. They would be more upset by you staying with an abuser thinking you couldn't reach out and go home. You are not safe where you are.

@Chloe8909 Sweetheart I’m going to give it to you in the cold light of day.

you are worried about contacting your parents. My love all you have to lose is your life. I’m serious. You are in danger. Not contacting them puts your life at risk. Contacting them will go two ways and I strongly suspect it will be positively

a) you call you say I’m not safe, I need to leave please help me and I will when I’m ready explain why. They will come
b) you say the above and you are right (I don’t think you are) and they shun you.

either way you either get out or you know that’s not an option and you contact women’s aid.

make the call!! I had a lady message me on here a while back, her daughter is with an abuser she’s worried sick. Daughter doesn’t contact her and contact has reduced almost to the point of not seeing one another. She’s out of her mind with worry. She wants to support her daughter but has backed off so her daughter’s bf doesn’t attack her for speaking to her parents.

call your parents. Find out where you stand. Value your life, its precious

Turn up at your parents door. They won’t turn you away.

Explain he isolated you.

please phone mum and dad

If you want to, give one of us your parents number and we'll make the call.