Would you tell his wife

[Cottonpink]

Colleague that I don't work with now. Told me his marriage was over. Confessed feelings for me..slept with me twice. Ghosted me. Wife still seems in married bliss on Facebook.

Work friend showed me messages of him chasing her. But she's also informed me that another woman is debating telling his wife about a thing with her too.

Would you message the wife or let karma deal with it.

I'd tell her. Be prepared to provide her with evidence and be prepared for her not to react well towards you. But she deserves to know the truth at the very least for the sake of her physical health.

This

Exactly this you come across quite bitter OP. I doubt this is about the wife and more about you being spurned. Serves you right

I believe that I am happily married with a husband who would never cheat. If that’s not the case then I would much rather be told than to be living a lie, regardless of motive I would definitely want it to know if my husband was not the person I believed him to be. I think you should find a way to tell her, after Xmas especially if they have children

To be honest she’d be doing the wife a favour by telling her. I’d rather suffer the pain of knowing than not knowing

I agree OP is most likely out for revenge but as a wife I’d want to know. Revenge or not I’d be grateful for knowing my husband was a cheat

Step back and watch the drama. Don’t participate. Look after yourself kindly in the stress. You escaped a cheating loser.

In her shoes, I would prefer to know so that I can take the lead on the decisions I want to take, and not be living life based on lies.

Ideally it probably wouldn't come from the OW but if that's the only route, then so be it.

If anonymous, it would need to include irrefutable details because I imagine the gut reaction could be denial and trying to think the anonymous person was some sort of nasty person rather than well intentioned.

@OP I'd have had far more respect for you if you had summoned this righteous anger at the point when a married man told you he had feelings for you. If you'd come on here and asked, 'should I tell her' I'd have said,yes. But you didn't, all you needed to hear was, 'it's over" between him and his wife, which could mean anything. Did he tell you he was divorced? i think not. Married couples fight all the time and sometimes it seems like it's over and the next morning they're back in bed together. but you didn't use wisdom and were too excited to jump into the bed of a man you KNEW was married! twice. Now he has shunned you and suddenly you feel you must stand up for women around the world and let his wife know what a scumbag he is, funny that, you didn't think he was a scumbag when he was cheating on his wife, with you but suddenly he is one because he's left you.

Only a fool will not be able to read between the lines here and see that you are a woman scorned burning up with jealousy. You care not one jot for this man's wife and have taken no responsibility for what's happened or feel any repentance. Leave the woman alone.

This.
Absolutely tell her.
I can't understand the amount of women on here saying its OPs fault for sleeping with a married man! This man told her his marriage was over, she'd known him for ages and didn't think he was a total arsehole. He roped her in because he is clearly an accomplished liar. So she got it wrong, because she believed him.

Of course the wife should know. Knowing someones husband is a lying cheating bastard and not telling them 'to not get involved' is pathetic.

Its not revenge. Its calling someone out on their shitty treatment of them, and their wife, and what sounds like countless other women. Why the hell would you brush that under the carpet?

I expect his wife also thinks he is not a lying cheating bastard. Its not ruining her life or christmas, HE did that. what OP would be doing is giving this woman an actual choice back as to whether she wants to stay with her prick of a 'D'H.
I for one would absolutely want to know.
Its not like OP set off on a mission to sleep with a married man FFS.

I do wonder how it’s possible not to know this because it’s been this way since the dawn of time.

Men will chat shit to get sex - surely as women we know that and to our due diligence accordingly.

And no it’s not woman blaming - it’s about us protecting ourselves from wronguns and getting hurt.

100% tell her.

I would want to be told. 100%

Wait until after Christmas as it's a waste of preparations. New year new start

Don’t tell her. If you do tell her she’ll blame you and stay with him anyway.

Are you hoping if you tell her, she'll dump him, and he'll want to rekindle things with you?

I was the wife. I will forever be grateful to the person who told DH “you tell her or I will”.

I would tell her because I would want to know myself if my DH were cheating. I know that some women who stay with their cheating DH, but if you don't tell her, then she doesn't even have that choice. And even if she does already know he's cheated in the past, perhaps finding out he's got another 3 random women on the go would change her mind.

I would tell her because I would want to know myself if my DH were cheating. I know that some women who stay with their cheating DH, but if you don't tell her, then she doesn't even have that choice. And even if she does already know he's cheated in the past, perhaps finding out he's got another 3 random women on the go would change her mind.

She can send anonymous message on facebook.

I still wouldn’t bother, he’d only lie his way out of it anyway.

There another thread on here where a poor woman has had her Christmas ruined by a tramp who slept with her rat bag husband and decided to tell her a week before Christmas. Read her post so you can see for yourself how it destroys families. You should really focus on developing some self respect so that you can aim higher in the future and stay out of business that doesn't concern you.

The OP is as much of a victim as the wife. They were both lied to and deceived. And yes, she should tell the wife to give her the chance pf getting rid of the scumbag.

Who'd want that rancid man now after he's waved his willy around so much and lied and cheated?

Some people are pretty sheltered. We don't spontaneously develop this knowledge. Usually we have to see it either first hand or, happen to a girl mate. That men slag off their partners in order to try to cheat on them.

I only first saw it when living in a flatshare with guys at 21, might have taken me longer otherwise. I would probably have taken someone at face value if they'd said they'd seperated too. Trusting nature and all that. Most of us aren't born cynical. It develops through time and experience.

Though I suspect some people, when vulnerable are at risk to love bombing and similar and just want to believe.