Would you tell his wife

[Cottonpink]

Colleague that I don't work with now. Told me his marriage was over. Confessed feelings for me..slept with me twice. Ghosted me. Wife still seems in married bliss on Facebook.

Work friend showed me messages of him chasing her. But she's also informed me that another woman is debating telling his wife about a thing with her too.

Would you message the wife or let karma deal with it.

100% - I can guarantee if he hadn’t ghosted her and tried it on with her mate the OP would still be sleeping with him!

@Cottonpink

So there are actually THREE women he's enticed/tried to entice? You, work friend, and another woman. TBF I expect there are more, just women unknown to the three of you. What a piece of shit.

Personally if it was me, I'd try to get the three of us together and draft a joint message to his wife laying out the facts in as 'kind' a manner as possible. If you and/or the other(s) want to provide a way for the wife to contact, that's fine. You don't all have to agree to allow her to contact you.

If the other women don't want to be involved I'd message her myself and say that there are three (including yourself) that you know of but I wouldn't give her their names.

Then there's no harm done is there?

So you'd rather be gaslit?

If anyone is ever going to tell a wife that her husband is cheating on her, I don't think it should EVER be the woman he's cheated with. It just smacks of spitefulness, jealousy and sour grapes, however you frame it.

Have some dignity. Move on from it. You knew he was married, you chose to sleep with him anyway and you conveniently let yourself believe the oldest story in the book. If she needs to be told let someone else do it.

sums it up...

Leave it alone.

Either she will already have an idea somethings up and will find out or perhaps she already knows and wants to still be with him. It always comes out in the end… and it’s just hurtful for you to tell her you’ve shagged her husband.

This.

I mean you can’t be naive OP- you slept with a married man under the usual line they all give. This reflects poorly on you as well . Fucking hate it when women sleep with married men- until they’re divorced back off

Exactly this 👍

Maybe it’s time to worry about your own choices and leave the poor wife alone especially just before Christmas.
You can put all the blame on this man but come on you fell for the oldest trick in the books - steer clear of married men regardless of what they tell you.

Not your place. You’re just pissed with him because he ghosted you and moved on. You’re as bad as him though so don’t suddenly pretend to care about his wife. Just leave the whole mess alone.

Telling the wife, would purely be for revenge in this case, why should she suffer for your lack of sound judgement OP?

Keep out of it and stop stalking her on Facebook

Tell her he's a twat.

Yes,you already fucked her husband. If you must do it, at least wait. You already waited this long, so why do a gleeful Christmas reveal and try to justify it?

People here saying not to tell her because it will just create drama etc

You're the same sort of people who look away when something is happening on the street, or film it without doing anything. When his wife potentially turns up here at some point saying she was cheated on several times, will you be all flowers and handholds for the drama then?

OP you ended up tangled up in this and fell for his charm. TELL HER.

Whatever the motives I would rather be told. My ex husband was sleeping around for years whilst preaching how terrible cheaters were and because his mum and dad had an acrimonious divorce I believed that he was morally opposed to cheating. If the first one had told me I could have left him years earlier! I can't think of any reason why someone wouldn't tell even if it makes them look bad. I agree with possibly after Christmas if they have children.

He told me she had moved out 5 weeks before I slept with him. He said they both agreed the sparks was gone. I've known him ages believe me I didn't know he was a shit. I said 2 days before we met up are you 100% sure you both are not interested in fixing it. He lied. Yes I shouldn't have fell for it. But I did.

No not at all. I twigged on because the wife was wishing her sister happy birthday (first time she's posted) and the wedding photos were used for three post. That's how I clicked that it's not over.

He said she'd moved out. I'm also newly single (8 weeks) so we were two friends in the same boat in my eyes. There is no way I'd have gone there if they were still together. He really fooled me.

Because her husband has two other women along with me at least in the last year he's played. He's a serial cheat and a liar. It'd not to ruin her life. Or get revenge. He's hurting people!

Would you message the wife or let karma deal with it.

Messaging the wife IS karma dealing with it. 😂

But as previous posters have noted, wait till the new year. The wife doesn't need her life turned upside down right before a significant family holiday. Waiting is good karma for you too.

Please tell her. I ve been in the wife’s place and would be greatf If someone has sent me even an anonymous message. It would have saved me from years of IVF where I spent a lot of money and put my health in danger. Would have left him and claimed my life back 3-5 years earlier.

PLEASE ladies. Send an anonymous message to the wife. There are of course women who are victims/codependent and will stay or blame you but also women who would like to know and would have been grateful.

Incredible the amount of people who think OP is to blame when this prick LIED to her that his marriage was over. What a foolish woman to believe a man she'd known for ages wasn't a lying prick. So moral of the story everyone, don't trust the word of any man, no matter how long you've know him or else it'll be your fault when he cons you into bed.
Ridiculous people.