Page 6 | He's become selfish on the bedroom * tmi for some warning

novembernovember24 · 18/12/2024 09:46

Spaklestarflower · 17/12/2024 19:34

I've nc for this one
Apologies if its a bit crude

there may be a little too much information for some so just warning ahead.

I'm literally at my wits end with this one.
I've been in a relationship with a man for just over a year now.
We are very compatible, or we're, up until recently we have a very good sex life and really equal. For example if one evening it was more about pleasuring him , it would then be reciprocated the following time and the rest of the time it just flowed and seemed a very healthy loving passionate sex life.
The last month I'd say he has been really really selfish and it's driving me nuts.
He won't go on top, won't go down on me and he hasn't even touched me down there in over a month.
I've always bigged him up on his skills down there so it's definitely not a confidence issue.
The first couple of times this happened I thought I won't say anything as he will be all over me next time... but no this has not happened 😕 I saw him last night and thought ill just see what he's like .
So he still kisses me lots and tries it on so to speak he's actually all over me beforehand. We banter and flirt he fancies me , I dress up in lingerie, we go out for meals and have lovely evenings together.
Then we got into bed last night and we were kissing and undressing , he guided my hands towards his penis so I started touching him, he was hard so he's definitely turned on. He then pulls me on top and because I feel so starved lately I do it as I fancy him and really want to have sex. I'm ontop for about 5 minutes he then lifts me off and initiates me giving him a bj so I start thinking it will lead to more ..... he comes 😏 this has happened a few times now but last night afterwards I felt so so sad and obviously sexually frustrated I felt really used and unattractive.
I don't know how to approach this?
But I'm starting to feel like he isn't into me anymore although he constantly says he fancies the pants off me, compliments me and tells me he loves me all the time. What is going on?

Let us know what you say. Can't stand men like this. Makes me angry. Just selfish assholes.

My ex was like this, I'd have to finish myself off as he used to cum too quick, he would build me up and up and then I'd be soo aroused and it would last 5 mins and then he would be done and I'm laying there like are you serious? I used to get sexually frustrated and it used to piss me off.

Few occasions he wouldn't make me cum so I'd have to do it myself, felt like a dickhead after.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 18/12/2024 13:42

You're within your rights to dump him if you don't want to see him again. If it were me I'd want to hear his explanation of why he's gone from decent lover to selfish git first though. Speak to him and ask him directly why he totally ignored your sexual pleasure and requests for the past few weeks.

category12 · 18/12/2024 14:29

Maybe he's been drinking the Andrw Tte kool-aid and thinks women's orgasms are pointless.

litepop · 18/12/2024 14:51

CandidaAlbicans2 · 18/12/2024 13:42

You're within your rights to dump him if you don't want to see him again. If it were me I'd want to hear his explanation of why he's gone from decent lover to selfish git first though. Speak to him and ask him directly why he totally ignored your sexual pleasure and requests for the past few weeks.

I would love to know if I was OP too but I can't imagine him having an explanation.....not one he'd be willing to share, or one that would justify it anyway. I would be intrigued to know tho

Worriednanof1 · 18/12/2024 15:13

Personally I would want to know what he has to say for himself before being dumped.

RedHelenB · 18/12/2024 15:44

Spaklestarflower · 18/12/2024 06:57

I wasn't trying to achieve something by crying. I was explaining how the encounter made me feel.

Show quote history

That's the point I was making, you needed to be forthwith him at the time, not save your tears for when you're away from him..

Christl78 · 18/12/2024 16:17

Spaklestarflower · 17/12/2024 19:34

I've nc for this one
Apologies if its a bit crude

there may be a little too much information for some so just warning ahead.

I'm literally at my wits end with this one.
I've been in a relationship with a man for just over a year now.
We are very compatible, or we're, up until recently we have a very good sex life and really equal. For example if one evening it was more about pleasuring him , it would then be reciprocated the following time and the rest of the time it just flowed and seemed a very healthy loving passionate sex life.
The last month I'd say he has been really really selfish and it's driving me nuts.
He won't go on top, won't go down on me and he hasn't even touched me down there in over a month.
I've always bigged him up on his skills down there so it's definitely not a confidence issue.
The first couple of times this happened I thought I won't say anything as he will be all over me next time... but no this has not happened 😕 I saw him last night and thought ill just see what he's like .
So he still kisses me lots and tries it on so to speak he's actually all over me beforehand. We banter and flirt he fancies me , I dress up in lingerie, we go out for meals and have lovely evenings together.
Then we got into bed last night and we were kissing and undressing , he guided my hands towards his penis so I started touching him, he was hard so he's definitely turned on. He then pulls me on top and because I feel so starved lately I do it as I fancy him and really want to have sex. I'm ontop for about 5 minutes he then lifts me off and initiates me giving him a bj so I start thinking it will lead to more ..... he comes 😏 this has happened a few times now but last night afterwards I felt so so sad and obviously sexually frustrated I felt really used and unattractive.
I don't know how to approach this?
But I'm starting to feel like he isn't into me anymore although he constantly says he fancies the pants off me, compliments me and tells me he loves me all the time. What is going on?

Hmm, why don’t you guide him while in bed?
I usually tell my partner what I want. “Come on top”, “I want oral” etc

category12 · 18/12/2024 16:19

Christl78 · 18/12/2024 16:17

Hmm, why don’t you guide him while in bed?
I usually tell my partner what I want. “Come on top”, “I want oral” etc

Show quote history

If you read her posts, she asked for what she wanted and he ignored her.

Christl78 · 18/12/2024 16:28

category12 · 18/12/2024 16:19

If you read her posts, she asked for what she wanted and he ignored her.

Show quote history

Oh ok. Didn’t read everything.

Hmmm, he seems selfish in a way that only a narcissist would then I’m afraid.

rainbowstardrops · 18/12/2024 16:43

I would say to have a conversation with him and ask him why he's changed recently but I think as you've got the 'ick' now, you've maybe gone past that option.
Just out of interest, how long have you been together?

SashTea · 19/12/2024 10:43

Hope you're ok op, did you talk to him in the end?

AnotherNcagain · 19/12/2024 15:28

@Spaklestarflower are you going to speak to him tonight?
it’s funny, I had my own thread on similar lines and was accused of sexual coercion. Glad posters have kinder.
I am in similar position to you where partner no longer giving oral ( well occasionally) but long term relationship.

Planesmistakenforstars · 20/12/2024 10:59

Hope you're doing okay OP and he didn't turn into too much of a pig when you spoke to him.

GladAllOver · 20/12/2024 11:21

It's rather sad that in a sexual relationship you have to keep thinking whether or not he's going to do what you like.
The best relationships are when you both totally relax and carry on until you are both finished. Most times after sex with DH I can't remember exactly who did what to who and when. It's just a big bundle of pleasure.

roseymoira · 20/12/2024 19:02

How did it go OP?

TammyJones · 20/12/2024 21:25

GladAllOver · 20/12/2024 11:21

It's rather sad that in a sexual relationship you have to keep thinking whether or not he's going to do what you like.
The best relationships are when you both totally relax and carry on until you are both finished. Most times after sex with DH I can't remember exactly who did what to who and when. It's just a big bundle of pleasure.

It is isn't
That lovely after glow.