Am I over reacting- partner finished inside me

[MyRealBiscuit]

Bit of background, we conceived a child whilst I was using birth control so are now extra cautious and he doesn't finish inside me. He has demonstrated good control of this over 8.5 months of having regular sex but the other night he "got carried away" in his words... why do I feel so crap and out of control about it? Took the morning after pill which I was angry about as I've had it in the past and it really plays havoc with my hormones.

The level of ignorance on this thread is astounding

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/types-of-sexual-violence/what-is-stealthing/

Sorry, it is clear from the judgement that if he had ejaculated inside her inadvertently then no crime would have been committed as it as the prosecution accepted that it is not physically possible for a man to guarantee not to do so.

You cannot go on worrying about about this, it'll spoil the spontaneity for you both. If you're okay with it, there's an alternative place round the back.

Do you want to have the law changed to make it legal or are you just acknowledging how poorly this reflects on men?

Why aren't they using condoms then? - seems bizarre not to.
Everyone knows ''pulling out'' isn't contraception.

The male is supposed to be older...heck, it sounds like a couple of teenagers, except teenagers are probably more careful and proactive around contraception.

No, as the woman would still not have consented to it. Men don't get to override women's consent in this manner.

as always @Viviennemary it would be useful to read all the OP's posts before commenting.

You are mistaken. I suggest you ask a lawyer or ChatGPT or something.

I was sexually abused as a child, but don't consider what OP has had is ''rape'' as that makes a mockery of true rape.
she's not a powerless child.

she can provide condoms or not have sex at all.

I am not sure if your agreement is going to work long term and this issue proves it. I know my partner would not want this to be the case as a forever solution. So yes your feelings are valid, but in reality you cant expect this solution to work for the rest of your lives. I would think this a both of you thing to resolve, you tried this and its not going to work as a long term solution, so what next do you both do. Try to come at it from that angle instead,

OP is on the pill.

Oh give over

There's no just thing as 'false rape' and 'true rape' under UK law. It's just rape.

Being sexually abused as a child does not negate that adult women are raped in different circumstances. Actually I'm struggling to see why you would mention it at all.

😂😂😂😂 sorry I laughed so hard at this

What birth control are you using and what is its success rate when used properly? If you are this anxious about falling pregnant I would double up by using condoms along side your primary method. The pull out method is not reliable in any way shape or form.

I haven't. My long term partner has always respected my conditions, and never overstepped or avoided them.

Stealthing is legally considered rape

Short answer, no. You are not over-reacting.

You're totally justified being upset with what happened but I also think there is a difference between someone in a loving relationship making an error of judgement, and someone doing something deliberately and purposely without consent.

Ive also been really shocked by responses here. It isnt acceptable and it isnt what she agreed to. And it sounds like it wasnt an accident in the slightest either. But many people on here with the belief that the poor man cannot help himself.

TBH, when DH and I have used the pull out method before, I've always known it's unfair to expect him to always do it on time. So we've only done it when we'd be comfortable with a pregnancy. My DH isn't a robot and i don't treat him like one. If he forced me to use the pull out method, or pulled off a condom half way or lied about the condom then I'd see that as boundary crossing. If he pushed his penis inside me without me consenting then that would be boundary crossing. But if he's inside me and we are both enjoying it and he didn't manage to pull out in time then I don't see it as a boundary crossed.

But he's my DH and I love him and don't want to put him in a situation where sex is so high stakes. I too was sexually assaulted many years ago so understand why you'd be triggered, and of course it depends on the specifics and also how your DH is. But personally I would never see consensual sex, consensual lack of protection as a violation of boundaries because to me the pull out method is not contraception.

How is the outcome different in your head?