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Original poster

Am I over reacting- partner finished inside me

261 replies

MyRealBiscuit · 14/12/2024 20:48

Bit of background, we conceived a child whilst I was using birth control so are now extra cautious and he doesn't finish inside me. He has demonstrated good control of this over 8.5 months of having regular sex but the other night he "got carried away" in his words... why do I feel so crap and out of control about it? Took the morning after pill which I was angry about as I've had it in the past and it really plays havoc with my hormones.

OP posts:
LT1233 · 14/12/2024 22:03

I'm really sorry you feel like this but I just don't think it's a sensible/realistic? way of avoiding conceiving. Dunno about other people but my husband gets so into it sometimes that he genuinely can't help it, much to his annoyance because he's very considerate and feels like he's failed me. I can't imagine having to rely on him pulling out as contraception, I'd be absolutely terrified constantly and sex wouldn't be enjoyable?

Imbusytodaysorry · 14/12/2024 22:06

RosieLeaf · 14/12/2024 21:49

Pulling out isn’t contraception

Really ? Op would never have known

ReadingSoManyThreads · 14/12/2024 22:06

RosieLeaf · 14/12/2024 21:49

Pulling out isn’t contraception

No shit. Hence why OP is on the pill.

justasking111 · 14/12/2024 22:06

We were taught in sex education that sperm could precede orgasm so not to trust it as a form of birth control.

Has this been disproved?

Bananadana · 14/12/2024 22:07

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Original poster
MyRealBiscuit · 14/12/2024 22:08

LT1233 · 14/12/2024 22:03

I'm really sorry you feel like this but I just don't think it's a sensible/realistic? way of avoiding conceiving. Dunno about other people but my husband gets so into it sometimes that he genuinely can't help it, much to his annoyance because he's very considerate and feels like he's failed me. I can't imagine having to rely on him pulling out as contraception, I'd be absolutely terrified constantly and sex wouldn't be enjoyable?

Edited

I understand your point and I've been with similar partners but my partner isn't like that. He is a bit older and struggles to finish sometimes. Always gets a little warning period and it really did feel like he chose his pleasure in the heat of the moment as it usually gets announced when he is close to finishing and this time it wasn't or I'd have given him a shove...

OP posts:
PostReader · 14/12/2024 22:11

mathanxiety · 14/12/2024 21:24

If you consented to sex with the condition that he would withdraw, and he reneged on that, you've been raped, OP.

Exactly, this is rape, legally speaking.

Viviennemary · 14/12/2024 22:13

Two adults should really be aware that this is not a form of birth control.

Nap1983 · 14/12/2024 22:14

mathanxiety · 14/12/2024 21:24

If you consented to sex with the condition that he would withdraw, and he reneged on that, you've been raped, OP.

Come the fuck on

Datafan55 · 14/12/2024 22:17

You feel out of control because he has taken away the control!

Golden407 · 14/12/2024 22:17

mathanxiety · 14/12/2024 21:24

If you consented to sex with the condition that he would withdraw, and he reneged on that, you've been raped, OP.

Bore off

fgsistwbotp · 14/12/2024 22:18

He shouldn't have finished inside you if you had agreed that he would not do that.
But on the other hand it's a daft way to try to avoid a pregnancy and if you are that concerned about becoming pregnant you should ask him to wear a condom in addition to you taking the pill.
There's pre-cum for one thing in addition to the risk of him coming early and not withdrawing in time.

DeepRoseFish · 14/12/2024 22:19

mathanxiety · 14/12/2024 21:24

If you consented to sex with the condition that he would withdraw, and he reneged on that, you've been raped, OP.

This.

Bananadana · 14/12/2024 22:20

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LT1233 · 14/12/2024 22:21

MyRealBiscuit · 14/12/2024 22:08

I understand your point and I've been with similar partners but my partner isn't like that. He is a bit older and struggles to finish sometimes. Always gets a little warning period and it really did feel like he chose his pleasure in the heat of the moment as it usually gets announced when he is close to finishing and this time it wasn't or I'd have given him a shove...

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Ahh right well in that case, I can see why you feel so uncomfortable about it, especially if his reaction is so blasè x

DeepRoseFish · 14/12/2024 22:21

Golden407 · 14/12/2024 22:17

Bore off

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It is rape. She did not consent to it!

Trolleysaregoodforemployment · 14/12/2024 22:22

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Great logic for a rapist.

TriesNotToBeCynical · 14/12/2024 22:22

DeepRoseFish · 14/12/2024 22:19

This.

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It is technically true, but only if he did it deliberately or recklessly. And, in the circumstances the only person who could prove that is he. Maybe he'd find it easier using condoms?

Bananadana · 14/12/2024 22:23

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DeepRoseFish · 14/12/2024 22:24

Nap1983 · 14/12/2024 22:14

Come the fuck on

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What on earth. She consented to sex on the provision that he didn’t finish inside her. She did not consent to that. That’s the rape bit.

PostReader · 14/12/2024 22:24

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Oh. So where does this end? If I'm a lesbian and I see a pretty woman on the street, she's got no right to say no? After all, it's like allowing a child to chew a bar of chocolate but they have to spit it out at the end.

It's awfully rapey logic. 0/10.

whatkatydid2014 · 14/12/2024 22:26

If he’s managed well for 8.5 months it’s reasonable you both thought he wasn’t going to get caught out by not realising how close he was to climaxing too late to do anything about it. It’s happened now. Assuming there isn’t a backstory of him generally being selfish and unreliable in other ways I’d tend towards accepting it’s not something he’s done deliberately. It has however shown him managing withdrawal isn’t reliable so ongoing you could double up on contraception, he could get a vasectomy or you could stick with other sex acts. In your shoes think I’d be more hurt/angry he didn’t get why I was upset than I would be that it had happened.

Bananadana · 14/12/2024 22:26

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Jennyathemall · 14/12/2024 22:26

Your are perfectly within your rights to feel upset but also practically speaking it was almost bound to happen at some point, and you were a bit naive to keep doing it given you have such strong feelings about it. Now is the time to have a conversation with DP about how you feel and agree what to change in the future to prevent reoccurrence, which to clear is not a promise of “I won’t do it again”. You need to talk about condoms, vasectomy etc.

Stirrednshaken · 14/12/2024 22:27

I'm absolutely staggered at the number of PP who think it's acceptable to ejaculate in a woman without her consent 🤯

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