Does a day off mean sex?

[MarvinTheMarshall]

DH had a day off work yesterday to do some Christmas shopping then present wrapping whilst DCs are at school.
DH suggested a “quickie” when we get home from shopping. I didn’t want to. He was quite grumpy then.
I have no sex drive since having DCs. We do it about once every fortnight in bed on a morning. He doesn’t ask for more. It just saddens me this day off I looked forward to became about that and now ended on a bit of a low note.
Does an empty house (kids out) mean sex in your world?

She has said he wasn’t sulking just more taken aback.

My marriage ended because my STBXH cheated on me. I didn’t want to have sex with him because he didn’t help to create the environment where I wanted to be intimate with him. It was a chore. I didn’t recognise that until I had counselling and started to work through what I wanted in a relationship.

I am in a new relationship and my BF makes me want to jump his bones each time I see him. It is totally true that sex starts outside the bedroom. It’s affection, hand holding, messages checking in on each other throughout the day, kisses hello, just because and goodbye. I can’t believe how much my life and response to sex has changed. I’m much happier. You and your husband can turn it around. I recently found the Libido Fairy on Instagram and she has some great posts on this.

I don’t blame myself for my STBXH’s cheating. I don’t blame myself for my lack of desire for him either, but if I’d caught on to this earlier in the marriage I do wonder how it might have turned out. My BF and I are far better suited though, which is probably a huge factor in finding him irresistible!

You could argue that taking away sex within a marriage without so much as a conversation to explain why is equally as abusive.

Absolutely not. Sex isn’t something which is ‘owed’ to anyone, and withdrawing sex isn’t the same as withdrawing affection. If you don’t want to have sex, you shouldn’t have to have sex. It’s not ‘abusive’ to not want to have sex.

It's not abusive to withdraw or not want to give affection either.
Why should it be all about her wants and needs and his don't matter? She doesn't want sex anymore, that's her choice, but he deserves at least a conversation about it rather than being lied to.

@Abi86 I don't if I'm honest. I'd rather do something else. I'm around 40, still got a good libido, though naturally not the same as when I was in 20s. Just not feeling it for her. I'm not unfaithful though as I have too much love and respect for her.

If I was in a new relationship I'd be doing it daily or more, I'm quite sure of that.

I'll do it to keep her happy. It's not exciting doing it with the same woman for decades.
I know there'll be people who say it is and that their sex life is going strong after 20 years. Well done for that if that's you.
We are affectionate in other ways, we can enjoy days off without it.

The scenario is irrelevant here. Wanting sex is fine, stropping when the other person does not want to is not. As with all things your feelings are valid, but your actions aren't always.

Thats horrible really. Hope your wife never finds that out. So hurtful

Not my fault though is it? @Candy24

I honestly don't have words. I really do feel sorry for you. But shows that you are not investing in your relationship. I think some of that is your fault. I would have an honest yet in your case not fully honest discussion to improve your relationship.

@candy
Well it is down to you if you need more excitement than you feel your wife is providing you with.
Maybe you should talk about it? You do sound a little unfeeling.