Husband wakes me up and doesn’t like my natural reaction

[TheFluentViewer]

My husband will wake me up sometimes, knowing how incredibly tired I was before I had fallen asleep because we have a newborn and it’s 5 or 6 am, but he’ll wake me up by coming to cuddle me or touch and play with my face as I’m sleeping and for some reason since I’m coming out of a deep sleep I react by pushing him away or hitting his hand and seeming angry and violent, when in reality I’m not even conscious and have no idea what’s going on or what I’m doing. The same thing happens every time. He gets upset and asks me over and over why I did that and lectures me on how I need to get rid of that spirit that naturally comes out when I’m sleeping and he comes to me being loving toward me. I don’t know why I do that and barely remember what even happened and so I don’t respond the way he wants me to and he gets pissed and angry at me and sleeps on the couch but will swipe anything and everything that’s on the couch onto the floor first even if there’s something that breaks on the floor when he does, and I have to clean it up later. (We’re in a very small studio/guest house right now.) I haven’t been able to figure out the reason why I react this way and feel guilty about it and like something is wrong with me. Could it be some type of past abuse that I’m instinctually acting on? I can’t put my finger on it. He says every other girl he’s ever been with reacts lovingly by hugging back or just being nice.
I let him know how tired I am and that I need to go to sleep cause I work the next day, but I just teach piano and not for very long hours, so he says I’m fine because he used to get 2-3 hours of sleep and work hard labor for 10-18 hours a day. I’ve just been a little more sleep deprived compared to usual because I take care of the baby throughout the night and have to wake up every 2-3 hours to pump or make a bottle and feed him. My worry is that I’ll be so tired that I sleep through my alarms and don’t make it to work on time, or that I’m so tired on the drive to work and am all over the road or fall asleep at the wheel and get in an accident. I know I can teach fine without any sleep I’ve been doing it so long and it wakes me up, it’s more just about getting there on time and safely.

What, so he’s saying that his need for a cuddle is more important than your need for sleep? I’d be furious.

He's a twat.

It is a perfectly normal and natural instinct of any living thing to lash out at what could be a predator that's sneaked up on you while you are sleeping.

Why does he wake you? How rude! You have a newborn and he wakes you for no reason? Sometimes I do wonder what some men are thinking.

Why is he even waking you up? tell him to piss off

It doesn't matter if everyone else he's poked in the face until they wake up hasn't punched him although I think he's lying you don't like it and have demonstrated consistently that you don't. He knows you are tired as well. What other boundaries of yours does he ignore?

OMG, he is an absolute twat! Why the fuck would he wake a woman with a baby that wakes in the night.

Bloody hell I'm fuming for you (can you tell). I can tell you that I would absolutely not be sweetness and light if some utter bellend was touching my face at 5am.

He is being ridiculous - that is just a natural reaction to potentially being attacked. Obviously, he is not attacking you but you don't know that at the time because you are asleep.

This is abuse.

From him, not you OP.

He's an abusive dickhead. He is waking you up because he thinks he's entitled to your attention and body whenever he wants. Then to get angry with you for your response is controlling. How long have you been with him?

What a selfish cruel man. It is the continuing to do it and reversing the situation so that you are the one in the wrong that raises so many red flags 🚩

He’s being ridiculous and in a way so are you by questioning why you don’t like having your face “ played with” while you’re asleep. Get rid of him Ffs.

Actually that is a great point. Why the hell does he keep doing it when he knows your reaction.

I'd want to headbutt him.

Ok I just don’t understand how so many people have responded to this within 5 minutes. How did you even read it that fast? Lol. Are you all real people??

FFs anybody waking me up at 5am would be lucky to get away without a slap. Especially when you have a newborn and are sleep deprived.

How does he like somebody waking him up when he is fast asleep? Tip a bucket of ice water over him at 3am tomorrow and complain he “isn’t being loving” when he doesn’t like it.

OP, the issue isn't your reaction its his. He needs to stop touching you while your sleeping as obviously your subconscious reaction is to be left alone.

AND you have a newborn so he should definitely just leave you alone.
his behaviour is weird and deliberately causing a mess and breaking things in response is extremely childish.

find your strength and stop putting up with this rubbish.

Good grief I felt angier and angier reading that. What an absolute fucking prick, how dare he even be waking you up in the first place. Nasty piece of work

You posted this 8 minutes ago and when it hit the top of the board lots of people all responded simultaneously. It's a bit rude to question whether people offering you advice are real.

NGL but I’d MURDER him

Youu tell him 'there's nothing loving about waking me up when you know I'm exhausted. Keep your fucking hands to yourself and you won't have to worry about what I do with mine.'

Your ridiculous inmature sorry excuse of a husband is the problem. Not the normal and healthy reaction of a sleep deprived baby mother when woken up of an essential rest because of absolutely selfish reasons.
Let me add the worrying aspect of his volatile reaction when confronted with a No. I'm sorry if I'm being blunt but has he always been like this?

Play with your face, wtf?

Sorry I’ve never used this website before, and AI is a very real thing…geez…