How did you envisage your life would be when you reached middle age? Has it drastically changed?

[silverbaubles22]

I'm in my 50's and truly thought that I'd still be happily married when I was this age. What actually happened was my exH got another woman pregnant and we had a horrific divorce. It's still a hard pill to swallow, and financially, I'm not well off since our divorce.
This made me wonder about other and whether other people's dreams went a bit pair shaped?

I have been divorced 8 years following a 26 year relationship/marriage. This week last of DC flown the nest and I finally feel properly divorced. It has been a difficult transition but …

I am now going to take some time to heal from what has been a really grim 8 years and the years of a failing relationship prior. I feel I have been assigned a disproportionate level of blame. But now all DC independent, I don’t need any longer to capitulate to maintain diplomatic relations.

I am beginning to explore online dating feeling I’m becoming ready now unshackled. But prioritising making the adjustments in my behaviour that when under stress to ensure I am not repeating harmful patterns.

For the first time in 8 years, the future feels hopeful and I am regaining trust in myself.

Mid 40s. Having children has been SO different to what I expected. Both have extra needs and health issues although not as complex as many. But the stress and worry is huge. We've taken a hit on our mental health. But I feel like in many ways they are healthier and happier than they've ever been now, which is so positive.

Relationship with DH not perfect and has never been - but he's a great partner and father. I've realised that choosing your life partner is so much more than just fancying someone or having stuff in common. He is a true partner, he pulls his weight, he's a good person with good values and he cares.

We are not where I thought we'd be financially despite bringing in two above average wages. We are lucky to own a house and don't watch every penny but I thought we'd be further along by now. I feel much worse off than I was 15 years ago in real terms. The house is too small really, but we just can't afford to do work on it to extend at the moment. I worry about my career for the next 20 years too. I can't continue doing what I do - it's just not an industry which employs people in their 50s and above - but I know nothing else.

Well, i cant say like has gone like I expected it to but im in a much better place then i was 4 years ago.

Im late 40’s now and after struggling my whole life anywhere outside of work where i thrive, it’s looks like im finally getting my own place. It’s very close to work and it’s a nice, quiet area where i can help my head settle with my battles with autism. Mostly I can settle down to looking after people, which is essentially what i do best.

Admittedly, we are close to being 20 years on my own, and I haven’t had a date in two years. I’ve lost about half a stone and although i still dont like what i see in the mirror, i know that i cannot be anyone else but me. There are many days i wish I had someone else’s brain but then i know i wouldn’t be me without it.

In the future id like to see and work with children as long as i am making a difference, try to look at a way to celebrate thirty years of looking after other peoples kids the year after next.

55, son with schizophrenia, came out when I was 42, severely disabled (but not mobility or visible)...so no, my life hasn't panned out as I expected. Still reasonably content though.

I'm 52 and feel exactly the same as when the school career advisors and teachers demanded to know what we planned to do with out adult life. I didn't have any career that really interested me, although I loved art my mother told me it was a useless hobby and I must do something else.
All I saw in my future was me, unmarried, in a small flat with a cat or dog, and I loved that dream.
Went to college, mum threw me out, I worked crap jobs before and after studying to make ends meet and after finishing education ended up working in retail, then manufacturing, then hospitality etc etc. Work has always just been something to pay the bills but it doesn't even do that anymore.
Was married for 20yrs, then divorced and raised my daughter as a single parent. She is still living with me, is working and has a bf.
She is the best thing in my life.
We still live in the family home which is lovely but paying the bills every month is a real struggle so if my dc ever does move out I'll downsize to get my cosy little final house/flat and retire.
Never thought I'd have cancer but been there, done that. I am grateful for every day.
Both my parents have dementia and I care for my mum one day a week, that has been an eye-opener as I realised I don't like her that much. She made my early life so much harder and now I'm expected to be the doting daughter. Haven't spoken to my dad for over 15yrs until his new family got in touch to say he has dementia and want to start us talking again. I'm very skeptical as to their motives.

I do have lovely friends and we try to meet up once a month but other than that I'm usually on my own, I finally realised that I'm happier in my own company without having to compromise or cater for other people's whims.
Men no longer interest me as after my marriage and a couple of boyfriends I can see most of them for what they are.

I've recently dug out all my old art stuff and started painting again.

I imagined lots of luxury holidays, volunteering, spending time with grandchildren and animals. All of the above I could do, but the reality is I spend my days taking my increasingly frail mum to endless appointments and runn8ng around after her, shopping, bills, tradesmen etc and now my DB who lives with her and has moderate learning disabilities has become more and more physically disabled. Some of which I suspect is related to his state of mind. He actually thought I could take him to his hospital appointment next week (I will) and push him in a hospital wheelchair as he’s finding walking harder. He walks nowhere or does anything at home so is incredibly unfit and unhealthy. I’m going on 60 myself with a bad back FFS.

I feel like everyone’s donkey who just keeps getting worked and flogged until I drop and then what will they do. I seem to have permanent anxiety at the moment.