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Original poster

Why is not asking me out?

104 replies

Minnie5002 · 27/11/2024 16:18

I’ve been dating this guy for more than 4 months. He keeps saying he’s going to make me his girlfriend soon but hasn’t. Do you think there is a reason for this ?

we get along really well, it’s like we are in a relationship already. Just to clarify I haven’t pushed him at all the make it official

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 27/11/2024 16:21

Waiting for his divorce 😆

LittleShenis · 27/11/2024 16:21

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Xmasmunkeh · 27/11/2024 16:22

Huh?
You've been together 4 months, why does he need to ask you out?

Am I missing something?

shellyleppard · 27/11/2024 16:22

This sounds like something from a teen magazine in the 80's.....

Womblewife · 27/11/2024 16:24

Never made my relationship “official”, we just dated until we started living together and now married. Do people really ask each other out now? Seems a bit Victorian .

Daschund · 27/11/2024 16:24

Keeping his options open.

B0RING · 27/11/2024 16:24

Are you having sex with him ? Are either of you seeing other people?

Original poster
Minnie5002 · 27/11/2024 16:25

It’s not to sound like a teenage movie😂 I just don’t want to waste my time dating a guy that is not going to settle down with me and commit to being in a relationship

OP posts:
napody · 27/11/2024 16:25

Minnie5002 · 27/11/2024 16:18

I’ve been dating this guy for more than 4 months. He keeps saying he’s going to make me his girlfriend soon but hasn’t. Do you think there is a reason for this ?

we get along really well, it’s like we are in a relationship already. Just to clarify I haven’t pushed him at all the make it official

What do you say when he says he's going to 'make you his girlfriend soon'?

Can't you say 'are you asking me to be your girlfriend?' Stress on the asking... as he's not gonna 'make' you anything without your agreement!

Is he nervous and trying to test the water?

LittleShenis · 27/11/2024 16:25

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TwistedWonder · 27/11/2024 16:25

If you’ve been dating for 4 months why does he need to ask you out? I don’t think a man ever ‘asked me out’ as an adult - it’s just how a relationship progresses

Mrsttcno1 · 27/11/2024 16:26

This does sound very 16 year old craic but if genuine and adults, I’d guess that if all you’re doing is “dating” then perhaps you’re not the only one he is dating and he’s waiting to see which one to choose for good!

Begsthequestion · 27/11/2024 16:27

If you haven't been pushing him to make it official, why/how/when does he keep saying he'll make you his gf?

Original poster
Minnie5002 · 27/11/2024 16:29

I didn’t realise how unusual this is. I just believe if he’s not committed to me then he could be seeing 3 other girls and wouldn’t be doing wrong as there was no agreement of loyalty of relationship. But maybe it’s normal for people to assume a relationship without taking about it. I could be over thinking

OP posts:
napody · 27/11/2024 16:31

Well tbh he sounds like he's trying to bring it up- although clumsily! Why don't you just say 'go on then!' when he says he's gonna! And if he's trying to keep you dangling and fudges around it, he's not worth your time.

AlexaSetATimer · 27/11/2024 16:34

I'd be asking him why after 4 months of dating, he doesn't already consider me his girlfriend?
Sounds like he wants to be able to sleep around then claim you weren't "exclusive".

Nah.

Mrsttcno1 · 27/11/2024 16:35

Minnie5002 · 27/11/2024 16:29

I didn’t realise how unusual this is. I just believe if he’s not committed to me then he could be seeing 3 other girls and wouldn’t be doing wrong as there was no agreement of loyalty of relationship. But maybe it’s normal for people to assume a relationship without taking about it. I could be over thinking

Edited

I don’t think it’s unusual to just assume a relationship after 4 months of dating generally, but as he has specifically said to you he “will ask you to be his girlfriend soon” he has made it very clear that isn’t where you’re currently at. So for me, he’s keeping his options open for some reason.

NotOneOfTheInCrowd · 27/11/2024 16:35

I was bemused to learn recently that this is apparently the done thing - that you start dating and then at some point have the exclusivity chat and decide to be a couple.

Times have changed it would seem.

Begsthequestion · 27/11/2024 16:37

Yeah I think you need the exclusivity chat, at least in my circles you do, if you want monogamy.

I'm curious about the way he keeps bringing it up. And how do you respond when he says it, OP?

Onthesideofthespiders · 27/11/2024 16:39

Haven’t you already agreed not to see other people? Or at you both “allowed” to date and sleep with others?
After 4 months, surely you’ve already talked about this and agreed that you’re only seeing each other and no one else.

Onthesideofthespiders · 27/11/2024 16:40

But, really, any man who uses the line “I’ll make you my girlfriend soon” as if it is some sort of prize is a bad’un. He sounds like a waste of time. And thinks a lot of himself, to the point where he has you hanging on for him to declare you a couple instead of having an adult discussion.

bifurCAT · 27/11/2024 16:42

If you're having sex, there's your answer. He wants all the fun with none of the commitment.

category12 · 27/11/2024 16:42

Do you mean you haven't had the "exclusive" talk?

usernother · 27/11/2024 16:45

This is the done thing now. IMO it's a way for people to keep themselves free to shag around with others, whilst keeping someone dangling on the side. It's so they can see if anything better comes along, and it's absolutely ridiculous. You have options OP. You can tell him that you want to make it official, if he says not yet, dump him. I think if he wanted to make it official he'd have done so by now.

MiddleAgedDread · 27/11/2024 16:46

NotOneOfTheInCrowd · 27/11/2024 16:35

I was bemused to learn recently that this is apparently the done thing - that you start dating and then at some point have the exclusivity chat and decide to be a couple.

Times have changed it would seem.

Same, I only learn about this recently from this board which then prompted me to check with my BF that we were "exclusive" and he was absolutely horrified that we might be anything else!! It must be an age thing with the younger folk. Although I remember us having a conversation about something after dating for a few months (I think it was about meeting his daughter) and I said something about being his girlfriend and he went "oh, are you my girlfriend? yeah, I guess you are!"