Why is not asking me out?

[Minnie5002]

I’ve been dating this guy for more than 4 months. He keeps saying he’s going to make me his girlfriend soon but hasn’t. Do you think there is a reason for this ?

we get along really well, it’s like we are in a relationship already. Just to clarify I haven’t pushed him at all the make it official

I'd have a very frank conversation with him the next time I saw him that went along the lines of, 'I just need to check with you - are we exclusive? Or do you think you are free to see other women? After 4 months, I consider myself your girlfriend - so if you don't you'd better say so now'.

Any indication that 'you aren't quite there yet' and I would dump and move on. I wouldn't hang around hoping that I made the grade. I'd lose immediate interest in him and his silly timescales.

Any indication that I'm not good enough to be your significant other would be enough for me to get the hell out. Are you afraid he'll stop seeing you if you hint that you deserve better?

I’ve been dating this guy for more than 4 months. He keeps saying he’s going to make me his girlfriend soon but hasn’t

If you've been dating him for four months, you are his girlfriend, aren't you?

And why is this non-ceremony up to him, anyway?

Anyone that dates in 2024 knows if he hasn't made it official then he's keeping his options open. He doesn't know after 4 months, that won't do.

So he sees other people? If so you are never going to be more than a hook up. Men don't wait around if they really like you. I hope at least you have been seeing other people too?

Ask him. Are we exclusive or am I ok to date someone else?

Nothing says romance like an "agreement of loyalty of relationship"...

Going by the title of this thread, is it to be understood that you have been doing all the 'asking out' then?
If so, stop it. No fanfare or fuss. It will give you a space to see what he does - if he can manage that.

Otherwise I fear you'll be setting a pattern for taking on the load for everything while he coasts leisurely along.

Oh dear I have spoken to him. He said he sees me in a romantic way and not as a female friend. I asked so are we official and he’s completely dodged the question. And said he knows we need to make it official and he will do it eventually

Ha! I gave that knobhead the benefit of the doubt- other pps had his number.

I'd reply 'nah you're alright.'

He 'knows he has to' tie himself to you EVENTUALLY?!
Jesus. What an opinion of himself.

Sorry OP. But better find out now than after a year.

Ugh, throw this fish back, it stinks.

He's just about a power dynamic where he calls the shots and you're waiting for him to honour you with his approval.

Dump.

Wow that's not a great answer, I think he's dating others and keeping his options open. If it were me I'd say either you make it official or I'm off, I wouldn't be waiting around for him to keep you hanging any longer, if he wanted you, he would have done it by now for fear of losing you.

What does this even mean? How will he make it official? Has he got to swear an oath? A blood pact? A Facebook status?

I'm so glad I'm not young anymore 😅

Know your worth and walk away.

Ffs! Bin him off! Why are you debasing yourself like this?

OP if you are seriously considering staying with this guy I would urge you to look carefully at your self esteem and get rid of him.

He wants you to do a “pick me dance”. Fuck that.

Don’t worry I have ignored him I’m not staying…

Dating in 2024 is horrendous, but I'm afraid he's told you the answer by avoiding it.

He's avoiding being in a relationship with you for whatever reason and this has become a situationship.
Cut ties with him immediately, end it on your terms.

What one man won't do. Another will....next!!

Sorry OP but if after 4 months he’s still not sure then he’s mugging you off.

If a man really wants to be with you, he’ll make sure you’re his gf and eighties losing you.

This bloke is full of empty words and no action.

Why don’t you date other people too instead of waiting around for him to decide? You might find a better prospect who does actually want to be exclusive.

If he’s sleeping with you, you should stop. He’s viewing you as non exclusive. “Soon” is just offensive frankly.

What you need to say is ‘hi, I’ve had a think and I’ve decided not make you my boyfriend. All the best’

I’m probably just too old to understand this (!), but how can you be dating for 4 months and still be awaiting an official invitation to become his girlfriend?
Does it work differently now?

I'm glad show him , that he doesn't have that option anymore.

Dating means, that person is your girlfriend/boyfriend, well it does in my mind! If you're dating then, to me that would be exclusive too. If a couple are just seeing each other casually, and aren't exclusive, then that's not really a relationship. I don't understand the younger generation's idea on making dating so complicated, it really shouldn't be, it's quite a simple concept!!