Why is not asking me out?

[Minnie5002]

I’ve been dating this guy for more than 4 months. He keeps saying he’s going to make me his girlfriend soon but hasn’t. Do you think there is a reason for this ?

we get along really well, it’s like we are in a relationship already. Just to clarify I haven’t pushed him at all the make it official

How old are you? I'd just start dating again and leave him to sort his own shit out he'll soon realise what he could have had.

Are you disappointed?
I'd tell him to piss off.

“smallsilvercloud · Today 17:46

Anyone that dates in 2024 knows if he hasn't made it official then he's keeping his options open. He doesn't know after 4 months, that won't do.”

This with bells on. And it’s a discussion one of my DCs has just had with the person that they are dating. Making it official is a thing but this guy seems to want to keep his options open.

Great.

I think the traditional recommendation is to listen to The Beautiful South's 'A Little Time' and chuckle to yourself.

He’s likely dating other women as the same time with the excuse that they’re not official boyfriend girlfriend yet.

i think you need to clarify the “exclusive” position and have that chat.

if he is exclusive with you and doesn’t want to call you his girlfriend…. That’s a bit weird.

and why is it all on him when he decides?

just have a chat!

personally if he wasn’t wanting to be exclusive after 4 months and wasn’t comfortable calling me his girlfriend I’d be off!

Wow it sounds hella complicated. I dated multiple people when single and then decided if I wanted to sleep with any of them. If I did I would ask them how they felt about being exclusive and that was that. If they preferred to carry on dating fair enough but I wouldn't be sleeping with anyone I wasn't exclusively with.

Giv3n your update. I think it's clear you're a temp, not a future. Dating you casually while sniffing around but wanting to keep you in reserve.

Oh dear,
My last boyf..... was similar..... what I thought we were building was not reciprocated..... he was the man of many words that dodge commitment..... he made a complete fool and mockery out of me. It took time to heal from that x but now I'm in a new relationship with a man that knows what he has when he has me and it's absolutely amazing x

I know where I stand and it feels great x

I'm sorry that this is happening to you x but you shouldn't be anyone's second choice x

This!

If you're not his official girlfriend by four months it's unlikely to happen!

How does he introduce you to his family and friends?

Well done lovely he will think he can string you along. Sorry it worked out this way

Yes, ‘being his girlfriend’ isn’t like the New Year honours list! I’d just slope off, OP. Enough time wasted hanging about waiting for Mr Will I Or Won’t I.

Nice one OP.

No need to hang around for this twerp.

Men who want to be with you ‘make it official’ very quickly as they don’t want to risk losing you to someone else.

He’s probably been reading some red pill BS about how to make you do everything he wants because you want to get the ‘official’ label.

💐

Even if all the kids do it, don't, it's not ok. Taking time before committing fine, dating several people at a time (without sleeping), very fine, I recommend, but making "situationship" a compulsory phase before commitment? No way, it's unhealthy, you commit or you don't.

@nfkl totally agree

My colleague thought she was in a relationship. They went to social events, meals out and she stayed at his at weekends. They were meant to be going to some kind of professionals dinner when he told her she couldnt go. The reason being that people might think they were a couple.
I think he felt too good
for her but it was vice versa. She was really hurt but the truth was she dodged a bullet op.

That’s awful!!!!

The dating anyone you like until an 'exclusivity' chat has taken place needs to get off the bus.

Why are people putting up with this crap?

Definitely one for the bin. I’m sorry you’ve wasted your time and energy on him.

That song sums up so many of the posts on here I was thinking about that the other day while listening to it (just always liked beautiful south)

He’s going to make you his girlfriend soon???

What does that sentence even mean??
Does he need to plan a presentation evening and award you with a gong, with the word “girlfriend” emblazoned on it in gold writing??

WTF??

Either you’re a couple or you’re not.

My best guess is he’s married.

Either way, the guy is a walking red flag

tuuuuune!

😆

OP - either he has issues (in which case, don't waste your time wondering what they are or agonising over them), or he's just not into you.

He will keep wandering & out of the field, grazing here, there & everywhere as long as you're happy to leave the gate open.

Tell him he's not really worth waiting around for, then block.

I’d say dating for 3/4 months before making it official is pretty common.

However, him avoiding the question would piss me off.

If he’s not ready, then he needs to just say that.

How open are you with other people?
Does his friends know you’re dating?
Are the dates in very public places?