Should I tell his wife?

[Unicornsfordays]

Not a huge deal, but a random guy messaged me on Facebook this evening wanting ‘sex chat and to swap pictures’.

He sent me unsolicited dick pics and wanted me to send pictures of me. I literally barely said anything apart from to ask what he wanted (given I didn’t know him). His profile picture was of him and his wife.

It took me two minutes to find her, and I called him out straight away and he blocked me.

He wasn’t ‘cheating’ in a serious sense, but I am so sick of men and the disrespect. It’s just gross. Does his wife deserve to know? I don’t know her. They have kids. My general feeling is everyone has the right to the truth, but I don’t know if it’s just mean.

Do I message her and let her know what an arse her husband is or is ignorance bliss?

Simply report to the police. FB is not a forum where dick pics (never mind unsolicited) from strangers is normal or acceptable. It's cyber flashing and indicative of worse behaviour. Anyway, if it goes to the police maybe his wife will find out that way. Also, he can't really gaslight her with the "I was hacked" bullshit if it comes to light that way.

Why ever have open access on FB settings? No surprise stuff like this can happen. Some men are grim, if they find free access they'll do it. Take online security access seriously, otherwise you can get stalkers who can find out allsorts about your family and friends.
I can get behind the potential chucking a bomb in their marriage ( as its his bomb). Not so cut and dried with police, I guess it depends how its dealt with by them - a warning off them in first instance hopefully. If it lead to a criminal record it could affect his employment leading to a lack of future CM payments - wife and DC's lose out from it again unfortunately.

Even if she asks, DO NOT send the photos. It’s a crime.

Being a necessary law doesn’t mean that it can’t also be a poorly enforced and mis applied law such that people it’s intended to protect can fall foul of it. When a 17yo boy risks having a criminal record for receiving unsolicited pics and seeking parental advice on how to deal with it, it is an arse of a law and needs reframing.

True too.

I know a lady who was single, following divorce from maybe 30s to 50s.

She has a very straight philosophy in life and therefore avoided all dodgy offers but, by fuck, she had plenty of offers from attached men.

And in really shitty circumstances, like married colleagues who'd built up a "friendly" relationship with get for ages and worst of all, a man in holiday with his wife and young kids. Shd had what she thought was civil conversation with them around the hotel a few times, then he encounters her alone and says she must be so lonely on her own, that he'll come to her room later. He was honestly acting like he was doing her a favour. She told not to bother and I think he still knocked at her door. With his wife & kids elsewhere in the hotel.

Another lady I know, also divorced, sometimes accommodated friends/husbands of friends when they were in her area for a sporting hobby/work they were all involved in.; she has a large house and was doing them a favour. She said everyone of them came onto her at some point. Sometimes repeatedly, after being rebuffed.

They are scum.
And there are so so many of them.

Yes, well, common sense should be applied in those cases. I’d still rather the law was in place.

Yes, this is good advice

Ok, well I have heavily censored the images I sent. I don’t want to share them in and of themselves I just wanted to prove the fact.

she probably won’t even see the message, but if it were me I would probably want to know, and if the police contact him it will come out anyway so.

If it lead to a criminal record it could affect his employment leading to a lack of future CM payments - wife and DC's lose out from it again unfortunately.

It's stuff like this that has always let men get away with sex offences.

Sometimes part of a pattern of much worse sex offences.

Ok I won’t, I don’t particularly need the drama anyway. I sent censored images to let her know the fact, she can tell if it’s him from his hand I guess.

Everyone deserves to know that they are living a lie - then they can choose what to do

The wildlife deserves to know. You have done all you can now.

Well done OP 💪 💪 💪

Just reiterating in part what others have said.
I work for the Police.
Even if she says she wants the original pics to identify him- do not send them.
The offence is in sending the photos. Not in whether you have permission or not. You forwarding them is an offence.
You did the right thing in reporting to Police.

Thanks no I haven’t sent any uncensored images and I won’t :)

Can't you just forward the images to her?

I'd report him to the Police. Some random sending dick pics? Who else is he sending them to? What if he's doing that to young girls?

Lock down your profile too, you wouldn't be getting this type of thing with the right settings in place.

It is - I thought I knew him as we had a mutual friend. Neither my profile nor inbox is open to everyone. I certainly did not invite this.

You've absolutely done the right thing

Lock down your profile too, you wouldn't be getting this type of thing with the right settings in place.

not true @unsync unfortunately I had a random guy send me an message that went into my message requests. I never knew him and he was married. I just blocked him immediately. But we had no friends in common and my profile has nothing public on it. Just my profile pic.

My friend accepted a friend request from someone we knew 30 years ago having just been to a reunion where he and his wife were both there.

He immediately started to want setting! I think this just shows how mens minds can work. They really don't seem to think that anyone will tell their wives for some reason.

My friend knocked him back, but a few weeks later he tried again. Extraordinary.

@Unicornsfordays screenshot the thread so he can’t say you started it.

The photos can be blurred or redacted. And…if it’s such a crime, perhaps the OP could pursue that avenue - if the police could be arsed investigating it.

Just as bad as flashing in my opinion, dirty git. I'm sure men think a penis must be attractive to us, the sight of one certainly doesn't 'turn me on'.

I would want to know.