Would you leave a lazy husband

[Pennyduke564]

Would you leave your husband if he is lazy if he doesn't help you with the house work and does not want to work and you work fall time and have kids and your husband is always starting arguments with you

If she's working herself, she's got this 💪

OP yes you should leave him. But you should do it smartly.

Get some legal advice. The usual advice is not to leave the martial home. You can't force him to leave but you can claim benefits if you are under the same roof but living separately and you can still file for divorce.

You need to start thinking about the arrangements for the DC and how the assets will be split. Set up your own bank account if you don't have one.

If he is abusive you may be able to get legal aid.

Wishing you all the best. he is not going to change.

You're the one paying the mortgage and caring for the DC so kick him out. Why would you leave and him stay in the house?

If he doesn't want to work he can go and claim benefits and rent a bedsit or whatever.

Stop enabling him.

I have told him that I will be moving in with my mum and stepdad

@Pennyduke564 why are you leaving your home? Do you own half of it? Sounds like you have paid for most of it unless his boat sale helped.

@Pennyduke564 Are.you working?

Because he has told me that he would not be moving out so I would have to

Great! Do it. Then make arrangements to sell the house.

Again OP, are you working?

Yes.

The OP says she works full time.

He has told me that he will not sell the house

Then tell him you will see him in court. Court will order the house sold and the proceeds split. He has no choice. Since the jobless loser can't afford legal fees, he'll want to avoid going to court. Remind him of that and
get a lawyer.

In the circumstances you describe absolutely.

I married young, exh was abusive. I did most of parenting/cleaning/earned more and got told I was useless to boot. I left him.

When I met dh I was sensible and we took things slowly. At the time I ran a child care business from home so naturally a lot of the cleaning etc fell to me. I didn't really notice how little he did until we had our son and I expected more and he struggled to deliver. I had a period of time of trying to do it all and then decided I wasn't doing that. We had some serious talks, I reduced my working hours to do a job I love and dh became the bread winner. I did most of housework in the week but at the weekend I insisted everything was 50:50. It's took time but we got to a place we are both happy. I wouldn't have had a second child with him though. But I'm glad we worked at it.

Then tell him you will see him in court. Court will order the house sold and the proceeds split. He has no choice. Since the jobless loser can't afford legal fees, he'll want to avoid going to court. Remind him of that and get a lawyer.

Exactly! 👏👏

Agreed.

Yes I do work fall time as a cleaner

@Pennyduke564 as others have said, court order. You are entitled to what is yours, he is not in charge here and if he can’t agree amicably then he’s in for a shock. Don’t let him walk over you now like he seems to have done all through this marriage. He is a terrible role model for the kids as to how to treat someone!

The children have gone to school and he has just started a huge argument with me so I have taken my wedding ring off and started to pack my suitcases

@Pennyduke564 Have you let work know? I know it's probably far from from your.mind right now but important. Deep breaths 💐

Have I let work know what

@Pennyduke564 You're not going to be in today.

Use today to book a free half hour consultation with a solicitor to find out what you can and cant do. You can't make him leave, but you can take legal advice to sell the house as part of the divorce.

Yes and I wouldn't be asking him to "help" me with the housework either.

Partners don't "help", they do an equal share.

The idea of him helping you implies that it's your job and he's your assistant.

No. It's his job too.

I wouldn't stay with someone who behaved like this. It would be like having a child, not a partner.

@Pennyduke564 you urgently need proper legal advice. If you leave your home your H will claim he is the primary parent and has been a SAHP for many years.

He will put in a CMS claim immediately and may well get awarded more than 50% of the value of the house.

Don't leave, stay put and get advice.