Small things that have given you the ick when online dating

[idontknkowwhyibother]

Does anyone else fancy a laugh about the traumas of online dating (lighthearted) and that feeling of getting the ick mid-date?

I had a really silly one recently where I went on a third date with someone. I was already in the minds about him.

Anyway, we'd done an activity then went to get food afterwards and it was ordered on screens. The previous date I had paid and so it was already agreed that he was buying me lunch.

All good.

So, we got to the bit where the screens to order food were. I'm used to doing this in McDonald's for my kids 🤣 and always usher them to go ahead and put their food order in. So I suppose unconsciously I was expecting him to let me go first?

What he actually did was RUSH to the machine ahead, of me JAB in his order so hard he nearly broke the machine and just kind of....stood there. I sort of waited for him to offer me the screen and he didn't say anything. So I silently put my order in.

It seems such a small thing, and it is a small thing. But it took me back to being a child ans having a sibling who will rush to get on the swings before you 🤣

Thankfully I never slept with him but I can imagine how it would have gone.

Has anyone else got the ick from something as petty or is it just me?!

Just me then 🤣

If you can’t write in articulate, grammatically-correct sentences that are properly spelled and punctuated, your penis will not be making my closer acquaintance, even if you’re the Sex God of the Midlands.

I went on a date with someone who was twenty years older and three stone larger than his photos. We went for a coffee. I had a tea and he had some food. He watched me split a tenner for the £1.50 tea.

We went out had dinner, drinks then on to a club. He took his jumper off and had a superman tshirt on that was it for me completely squashed it, I couldn’t get away quick enough.

He tried holding my hand and his hands were softer than my 7year olds ...nope 😂

Poor spelling and grammar makes me instantly unmatch as does anyone using text speak.

Matched with quite an attractive bloke last week but his constant use of ur, rite, nite, u etc put me off

Ooh I totally agree on text speak and poor grammar!

Oh no!

I went on a date with a dude who wore odd socks. Instant ick 😂
I couldn't quite fathom it at the time but I had just had an instant "Nope, I've lost interest" feeling.
I've analysed it extensively with friends since and I think its because I felt it indicated either:
(a) Lack of care
(b) Disorganisation
(c) Lack of domestic skills
(d) Him trying to be zany

Either way, nope.

Years ago I briefly dated a bloke who would ask me so many times each time we went out anywhere "do you need the toilet?" at every venue. IT WAS FUCKING WEIRD, and really infantilizing.

He also could not get hard unless we were shagging in the shower - he needed warm running water to be incorporated in order to get close to getting hard. UGH UGH UGH I want to go back in time and shake myself and end it sooner than I did. There were other florescent red flags with this one, but I cringe so bad I can't bear to type them!

The last bloke I dated, once I'd been seeing him for a number of weeks I went back to his. HIS FUCKING BATHROOM OMFG. I don't think he'd cleaned it in years. The inside of the toilet bowl was covered in shit bits.

Oh god, the floodgates have opened with the horrors of online dating... there are so many bad memories.

One guy was lambasting me because I didn't want to get into the sex talk online. He was rather driven to have a conversation about anal and how amazing it is. I'd never even met him. MASSIVE ICK.

A (sort of) funny one - dinner date with a guy who couldn't be arsed to check the menu so he ordered the same as me (tapas place, so we had identical dishes, lots of them), he barely ate anything once the food arrived, then suddenly got up and announced he had finished his dinner and was going back to the pub and he'd see me there! He chucked a bunch of notes on the table and waltzed out the restaurant. Well let me just say that I took my sweet ass time, ordered dessert, and another large red wine. Paid using the cash he very kindly left, and got the bus home! Whilst I was on the bus this bloke calls, wondering where on earth I am! He couldn't believe I had vacated the restaurant after finishing my meal and not gone back to the pub to meet him...

There are so many stories. Just thinking about them - I need a gin on the rocks right now

I think that's a really good point to be able to distil all the possibilities and say nope!

My dude it was just the instant pushing past me to go first, because obviously he should go first. Selfish behaviour no matter how much you're trying to make yourself look good in other ways (which in his case was chaotic love bombing, also not a good look).

Toilet ick omg!

I can't believe the tapas one, wtf is wrong with people?

Just having an account would!!

He used my toilet and was in there for around 10 mins but he never flushed which I thought was odd. 15 mins later he's asking to use the loo again, and again stayed in there for around 10 mins and left without flushing. I made my excuses and got rid of him then went to check the toilet.

The toilet bowl was filled with toilet paper, no sign of wee or poo, but what I can only describe and assume to be cum all around the toilet seat.....I have no other explanation, and no idea why unless he gets some weird kick out of it, but he was blocked that night. He found me on Instagram a couple weeks later and started sending me weird reels about being heartbroken, ignored, nice guys finishing last.
He's is now known as toilet wanker amongst me and my friends.

So I get ick really easily, with everyone! I see it as more of a me problem tbh.

A lot of small icks are solvable! Eg. That really horrible leather jacket DH sprung on our second date. Guess what went off to charity shop after I'd moved in, along with a fair few other tasteful items!

It didn't change who he was inside!

One guy told me how he used to deliver the syrup they use to make Coke, and described it as disgustingly brown and smelly and sticky. That's the main image I had in my head after the date. We said we'd meet again but on reflection I pulled out.

He tried to chase a pigeon away but it didn't work

In a sea of terrible online dates, he stood out as he sent a straight forward message, set up a coffee date quickly and seemed really normal in the lead up. I met up with him, and we had a nice coffee date. He tried to cuddle me whilst we were having our toasted tea cakes, which I brushed off, but he seemed genuinely sweet and chatty. We parted ways at the tube, he didn't try to kiss me or do anything other than a hug. I was in two minds as to whether I wanted to see him again but I'd had a perfectly pleasant couple of hours.

The next day he sent me, unsolicited, a series of texts remarkable only for their increasing levels of pornographic content. I didn't respond to any of them, but he didn't let that put him off. I blocked him.

Six months later he tried to add me on LinkedIn.

Pre-covid, the company I worked for had a set of unisex toilets. One of the blokes had a wank in one of these toilets and left semen all over the toilet seat. Our lovely HR lady sent a strongly worded email around to the whole company about this...

And the gents were in such a state sometimes that the cleaners refused to clean them.

There are too many utterly foul men out there.

And the 'poor me' reels he sent you - what a massive ick!!

Cinema date with one, he rested his hand on my knee throughout the film. When we got up he had left a sweaty palm print on my jeans.

Another announced he has decided to give up shower gel/soap and was only using water.

Another told me extensively about his recent urethra surgery on the third date.

Another berated me because I didn’t have ‘enough’ mint sauce for his meal (I had half a jar, we weren’t having lamb)

another used one of those nasal sprays that you used when you have blocked sinuses, repeatedly over dinner, at the table.

Omg how pathetic 😂

But he did keep his pants underneath his trousers though, right? 😉😁

@kittylion2 🤣🤣 brilliant, had a shitty day and that cheered me right up! Thanks ❤️

Years ago I dated someone who would swap my toilet roll round so it dispensed with the sheet to the wall instead of over the top the way I preferred it in my house.

Big red flag and he was dumped.

Not that intense but we were moving towards meeting up and he finished the message with 'm'dear'. Bleurrrrrrgh. Last time I looked I was 50, not 90.