Small things that have given you the ick when online dating

[idontknkowwhyibother]

Does anyone else fancy a laugh about the traumas of online dating (lighthearted) and that feeling of getting the ick mid-date?

I had a really silly one recently where I went on a third date with someone. I was already in the minds about him.

Anyway, we'd done an activity then went to get food afterwards and it was ordered on screens. The previous date I had paid and so it was already agreed that he was buying me lunch.

All good.

So, we got to the bit where the screens to order food were. I'm used to doing this in McDonald's for my kids 🤣 and always usher them to go ahead and put their food order in. So I suppose unconsciously I was expecting him to let me go first?

What he actually did was RUSH to the machine ahead, of me JAB in his order so hard he nearly broke the machine and just kind of....stood there. I sort of waited for him to offer me the screen and he didn't say anything. So I silently put my order in.

It seems such a small thing, and it is a small thing. But it took me back to being a child ans having a sibling who will rush to get on the swings before you 🤣

Thankfully I never slept with him but I can imagine how it would have gone.

Has anyone else got the ick from something as petty or is it just me?!

That made me shudder, I had never thought about it before!

Before online dating, but blind date set up by mutual friend.

He turned up in a posh car ( fine) but it had a ‘personalised ‘ number plate.
Worse , it wasn’t personalised with his initials….

It was very very weird. The instagram messages that followed just made no sense to me. He knew what he had done, he knew I'd find it, so why the messages acting like he'd been hard done by?!
He wasn't a total stranger to me either, he's actually a friend from my school days brother! The friend got in touch once to ask why things hadn't progressed, I didn't tell her but did reply that she should probably ask her brother what he did in my toilet. I was blocked by her a few days later.

Yessss. Brilliant. I think I know most of the lyrics.

He may just own a dog who likes to eat socks! I know I do. If you like a matching pair don't buy a rottweiler 🤣🤣🤣

Once was told as we were leaving a café that ‘it’s okay, you can just wire me half once you get signal’ .. we then stood outside for some time moving my phone around like a dick (in mid December) whilst I tried to get a signal in order to send him the £6 odd or whatever it was as he stood waiting 🧍‍♂️ 🥹

kissed a man that dribbled a long clear snot from his nose during 🤢 (we were outside and it was freezing, but still) he didn’t acknowledge it , and I pretended I hadn’t noticed , I most definitely did, and didn’t see him again 😭

dated a lad (for a couple of weeks) and he started to stay over at weekends. I went out and made him a little stay over basket with all toiletries in etc. they remained untouched… when I asked what was wrong he replied ‘although I appreciate the effort and I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, I don’t believe in using products on our bodies , the body naturally cleanses and should be free to sweat’ aswell as his body and hair , he also only liked to brush his teeth with water. Lovely lad, not for me! 😂

I had been dating someone for a while so he came over to mine one evening to watch a film and relax together. I nipped upstairs and when I was half way back down I was hit in the face by what smelt like hot diarrhoea farts. I asked if he was OK but he was oblivious.
For the next couple of hours he would fart none stop and the smell lingered so bad but he never acknowledged them. In the end I said he had to leave and the whole house needed the windows opened.
I was done with him that night but I remember laughing my head off when I rang my friend to tell him what had happened.

That completely cracked me up, I'm not in the midlands but I think the same way

A couple spring to mind.

The guy who said 'Heavens to Murgatroyd!' multiple times on our first date.

The guy who came back to mine after a few dates, despite him being allergic to cats (I had two at the time). He said he'd taken an antihistamine. When we got back to mine my friendly little cat walked up to him and he stamped his foot on the floor really hard in front of her and she was terrified. I had a massive go at him while trying to comfort the cat, then tried to dial it back a bit as all a bit awks. The next day he sent me an email saying it wasn't going to work because I was 'too immature'. He tried to connect with me on LinkedIn about two years later.

Not OLD but old style back in the day.

The one who would relentlessly talk in a poor Sean Connery James Bond impression, even when I'd asked him nicely to stop.

Another who decided my name was 'kitten' after just meeting me.

A successful lawyer who could only talk about trains, planes and cricket, but had stored up a single joke for me about Aunt Bessie's. Absolutely furious that I hadn't laughed as uproariously as I 'should have'.

Oh, the one that suggested we use a sex toy he had found on the golf course. Blech.

The sportsman who took me for first date Pizza Express then suggested I move in as he was 'trying for Olympic team' and wouldn't be able to see me otherwise.

I had been seeing a guy for maybe 4 weeks or so. We'd just had a couple of chilled 'at home' and casual pub dates as I'd known him from my wider friends group for ages. Couple of niggles, he was quite old fashioned and was extremely into chivalry. I was a single mum at this point, and I felt like he went out of his way to treat me like a toddler who couldn't look after themselves!
But he had impressed me with how together he had his life overall and he was very available.

One week he decided to splash out and book us a fancy table at a fancy restaurant, mainly because he really wanted to wear this new suit he had bought.

We got the train into town, and he introduced me as his wife to a train operator!? I questioned this, he said he thought it just sounded better.

When we got there, he was trying to look flashy in front of the waiters at the restaurant. Just being impersonal and acting a bit snooty. When we were seated, he gave me this speech about what TIPS stands for ('To Insure Prompt Service', apparently), and then he went "Watch this, I'm gonna give him £20". Then proceeded to tip the waiter before we had even ordered. The waiter looked absolutely baffled and asked him why? He said "It's just what I like to do".
I cringed as I knew full well he didn't have a habit of doing this, he'd just done it to look sophisticated... And it just came across as bizarre. Like we wouldn't get great service at a lovely restaurant anyway...?

The whole date was really stale and boring. I asked him stuff, his answers felt almost defensive. He didn't ask me anything back.

He stole something from the restaurant on the way out. Once we were outside he began telling me how the patriarchy didn't exist. This didn't go down well.

We then went to a pub for a drink, and he was really quiet, again didn't ask me anything, nothing interesting to say. It was super dull.

I was quite drunk by the time we were heading back to his, and on the train I told him I didn't enjoy the date and thought we didn't get along very well. He didn't say anything, but as soon as we got off the train, he basically ran away from me crying, leaving me to find my way back to his in the dark on my own. Very chivalrous.

He did apologise the next day, but the ick was too strong!

You'd think he'd have been extra embarrassed to do such a disrespectful thing in your private space.

A decent man wouldn't dream of doing such a horrible thing in a woman's home.
I can't think of his motives- it must have been a kink.

What woman would put up with that kind of behaviour? I doubt even Gay men would.

Because gay men have so much lower standards than women? 🤔

Sauerkraut in the fridge
Red socks
A baseball cap with a radio in so he could listen to other scores at football without getting his phone out
Goggles in the shower
Patterned acrylic jumper
Cowboy hat in the bedroom
"mmmm pizza"

speaking to everyone wherever we went- amusement park, on a walking trail. He just had to say something to everyone that we passed, and many times it was more than a simple “hello”. After two days of that (he was in town for the weekend) I was gritting my teeth counting down to when the date would be over.

there are many more as I get the ick easily

Heavens to Murgatroyd?

Hot diarrhoea farts?

Such a funny thread! 😂

Goggles in the shower has finished me off 😂😂😂

First time having sex, about to get down to it and he says "I can't wait to get my tongue on your giggling pin".

I can only presume he meant clitoris but I wasn't waiting to fond out. Instant ick

That’s the single most horrifying thing I’ve ever read on Mn.

Right?! Just ew

This wins 🤣

The first thing I did when I woke up was to open this thread. You didn’t disappoint! (The men did though, obviously)

A few I remembered:

• ‘mmmmm’ after most mouthfuls while eating.

• if he was leaving the house before me, he’d lay the coffee out for me, with label facing the ‘right’ way, mug and tea spoon laid out neatly etc. He didn’t same for the bathroom - toothpaste on my toothbrush etc. it felt so infantilising.

• Journaled

🤮

Someone at work asked me out to lunch. Like a PP mentioned he brought along a flask and sandwiches. I ate a chocolate bar I luckily had in my bag. He talked about his ex wife and a poetry book he'd given her, and asked if I'd like him to give me the book if she no longer needed it. No.

Another guy. We both worked shifts in different places. On the second date he said he'd change his shifts to be similar to mine so we'd be able to spend as much of our free time together as possible. Ick.

And another when arranging a second date by phone. Laughed when I told him my cat had died. No second date.

God these have been incredible!

Not me a friend a few years back - stupidly agreed for someone she’d met OLD for their first date to be at her house. He turned up had barely greeted her before asking to use her shower as hadn’t had chance and was sweaty from work? She was dumbfounded and just let him, then he came down (now fresh) and proceeded to show her the adult videos he starred in….the shower suddenly made a lot more sense.