Dating guy whose "wife was shot dead"

[Beautifulbouquet]

For a month I've been casually seeing someone.

He is quite hard work in general.

This weekend he told me that his wife was shot and killed in Afghanistan where she was a marine.

Having looked this up...this seems impossible. A tiny number of British female soldiers were killed in Afghanistan and all deaths are documented on the government website and seem widely reported in the media.

It seems this is a very bizarre lie.

Or I'm losing my sanity.

Wow OP that is a scary situation. I hope your tactic works. I'd definitely be very careful about my comings and goings for a while.

Well done. Make sure that any stalking or watching etc.. is reported instantly. Please write down and date on a piece of paper everything about him whilst it's all fresh in your mind.

This is spot on.

OP, get this thread pulled because if he sees it he will recognise the text conversation and be able to see what else you've posted on MN, he will be able to link your MN posting history to you in real life.

Also check your flat house for cameras or bugs, if he has been in your house.
Don’t look to be celebrating in anyway.
esp if he knows his stuff . Has he been left alone in your house?
if not just check behind pics etc .
che k your car too.

Unfortunately there are many of them around. All it really says is that they don't feel they are good enough. The problem is, when confronted, you have no idea how they will react. As kids we wanted to be soldiers nurses etc.. pretending was fun. They never got over it.

I think the OP probably has the message that pathological liars aren’t especially healthy relationships, better off out, etc, by now.

OP - I hope you’re feeling ok. Sounds like you’ve have a bit of a head fuckery but you dealt with it - well done. You used your judgement when you knew something wasn’t right, reached out to the wonderful (and sometimes judgemental) world of Mumsnet for advice, and ended the situation. No one else knows the tone of your conversations with this chap and if that’s how you felt was the best way to tell him then that’s fine. You did it, and it’s done. Be proud of yourself. Loads of women wouldn’t have woken up to or ended a situation like that as quickly as you did. x

You have made me chuckle with your humour tonight OP, especially at the thought of him as a 9 year old in a heavy metal rock band.

I used to work with a fantasist (he worked in a basic civil service admin role) who claimed to have previously worked in a role for MI5. However, he was so dim that he frequently got confused and would call it MFI. We could barely contain ourselves during his long winded conversations where he recounted his heroic actions working undercover in MFI. We would often ask whether he got carpet burns on his knees from crawling or rolling around, but it went straight over his head!

Bloody hell. This is giving Jessica Fletcher vibes!

MFI 🤣. Blast from the past!

That is hilarious 🤣 I worked with a very dim guy who said he was a local councillor and he wore a full suit every day to work in a more casual smart office. We used to ask him all kinds of hilarious questions and he’d go bright red trying to answer them. It was easy to look up who was a local councillor, it was just his fantasy life, although God knows why that was a fantasy to him. Each morning.when he came in, he would walk into the bin 9 times out of ten, and we would wait with bated breath to see if he’d do it and then try really hard not to crack up. At the age I am now I’d feel so bad for him, and I wouldn’t laugh, but we were 20 somethings and he must’ve been in his 60s and it just cracked us up

He knows where she lives and presumably other things. Her posting history would be the least of his worries? No?

OP are you home and safe now? The last time a guy let me down, I went to the pub for “one drink” then met a bunch of girls young enough to be my daughters, got totally pissed up, danced (I don’t dance) did shots, managed to somehow get home, and woke up feeling like I’d been run over by a train. Just checking you’re ok

Please take great care.

As a guy I find some of the threads on here fascinating and now and again i have a little looksie I didn't realise there was so many strange men! But this particular thread actually made my brain hurt I can't make out whether ive actually been trolled 🤔

He can use it to harm her in real life if she's posted things here that she wouldn't tell people about in real life, relying on pseudonymity to keep her secrets safe from people she knows.

I know!
Very confusing.

Are you Special Forces, @TheTrumptonRiots ? Seems a significant number of men are!

There’s strange women too, women fantasists who create whole narratives and trick and scam people, but it does seem to be overwhelmingly a male thing in dating, especially the secret agent/ soldier story. Seems to be common with a lot of bigamists as it’s then easy for them to be “sent on a mission”, “have a brief period of leave”, some fascinating documentaries out there on this topic. Thankfully nowadays it’s easier to find out info on people, and thankfully most people aren’t fantasists

OP, I hope you are home, can you please just drop a line to let us know you are ok when you can?

It does seem to be a certain type of man who does the ''Special Forces'' spiel.
I did meet a plausible young man {25 ish} who said he had joined the Foreign Legion.

He was working class, but had a very good working knowledge of French, which his Comprehensive probably wouldn't have taught him. which he said he'd had to learn in 'Algerie'. {This was before era when internet was a ''thing''}

He was very quiet and hardworking.. Maybe he had been in Foreign Legion.

Who knows!

I just googled.....Seems my 'Legionnaire' was a fantasist...Foreign Legion hasn't been in Algeria since 1968! I met him in late 1990's.

Maybe he just listened in his French classes...

Merde.

Yes I'm home! Xx