He always asks when I’m uncomfortable

[FunnyHazelHedgehog]

My partner keeps asking me for head every single night especially when I am on my reds. He knows I don’t like giving head I’ve even told him countless times before I just don’t enjoy it and I’m sorry. Past few nights when he’s asked I’ve just said maybe too him uncomfortably just because I feel like when I say no it’s a problem. What do I even do anymore? Even when it comes down to sex once or twice a week maybe is fine for me but I don’t want sex like that anymore only due to me just feeling down all the time and I’m not turned on whatsoever I’m just dealing with my own battles in my head.

Past week he’s been saying oh I’m just gonna come on your face when your asleep as a joke , yesterday he said it again and I said alright you’ve been saying this for the past week now you won’t do that so shush & he actually did sort of ..I weren’t asleep but we were laying down and I was just about too drift off. Is that even normal..? Or I don’t know if it was me who pushed him into doing it as I said you won’t do that ..

None of this is the least bit relevant.

The man is a revolting sex pest so whether or not he does the dishes is of no consequence.

OP, he is a vile, abusive sex pest. Please contact your Mum asap and ask to go and stay there. If he could threaten you, and do that to you what else is he capable of?

Don't be ridiculous.

Exactly. The rest of the relationship is meaningless. This pig has sexually assaulted her and committed a crime. The fact OP doesn't see this and is essentially asking whether his behaviour is normal (which of course it isn't) shows how deep down the rabbit hole she is.

OP, you need to contact your mum or a friend in real life and ask them for help. I would also be reporting this to the police.

@FunnyHazelHedgehog What happen was sexual assault. Please look up the number for your nearest SARC (Sexual Assault Referral Centre). They are independent to the police and they can support you. If you call they will talk you through your options.

They can do a forensic medical and take swabs as evidence - the evidence will still be there even if you have washed.

They can also make onward referrals for you to other services.

Even if you decide not to accept anything, you will know what is available to you. Conversely, if you decide to report to the police, they can help with that.

Exactly. He didn’t just pester or threaten, he actually did this.
@FunnyHazelHedgehog I hope you’re listening to all the PPs telling you how abusive and dangerous he is.

He's using you as a masturbation tool. What a vile man. LTB and I don't say that lightly.

Sorry but he sounds vile. Sees you as a "thing" that exists for his sexual gratification not as a thinking feeling human being. How long have you been with him? If it is still early days and he feels that this is in any way acceptable imaging how he is going to be treating you a few years down the line. If you have been with him a while and this sort if behaviour has just begun he now feels sure enough of himself to show you his true colours. Either way he is horrible and you deserve a peaceful life away from this sort of behaviour

Message your mum say she was right about him and can she help you leave him, contact the domestic abuse helpline leave him

All relevant when discussing sexual assualt?

See if you can reconnect with your mum, she was looking out for you, and now you are starting to see him for what he is she may well be your best support.

he actually did sort of ..I weren’t asleep but we were laying down and I was just about too drift off. Is that even normal..? Or I don’t know if it was me who pushed him into doing it as I said you won’t do that

OP - do you not think this is sexual assault, or at the very least, something highly disrespectful where he's showing you who's boss?? I wouldn't feel safe around him. He sounds horrible.

You don’t have to explain that you don’t want this/-it is horrible treatment! He has really done a number on you. Try to get away so you can think clearly. He is abusing you! And he is moving the goalposts in the relationship and moving from forced sex to assault while you sleep after verbal threats .

Great he’s a partner- easy to leave him/get rid of him.
If he’s a cock lodger too, change the locks.
Move on, feel better, delete and block him

and I said alright you’ve been saying this for the past week now you won’t do that so shush & he actually did sort of ..I weren’t asleep but we were laying down and I was just about too drift off. Is that even normal..?

No it’s not fucking normal. It’s SO abusive. He ejaculated on your face?! He pesters you for sex? I fear this could escalate. Your mother has cut you and him off because of him. You need to leave or kick him out.

He has assaulted you OP. At a very minimum you need to leave him. Going to the police would help others who might end up with this disgusting man.

Exactly this, I was just about to post the same. In fact, if I were OP and he said this again I would point this out to him along the lines "Well, if you did cum on my face while I'm asleep, that would be sexual assault because I wouldn't have consented to it (and nor could I because I'm asleep!) so I wouldn't 'joke' about something so serious. And by the way, if you did do that, I wouldn't hesitate to report you to the police."

I know I’ve been so trauma bonded I need to let go . I have tried to in the past but I end up making it up with him as he threatens to report me to social services whenever something bad has happened, yes I have a child with him🙃 & thankfully no I haven’t bought a property with him , I’m renting but its all in my name

Your mother knows he's abusive and perhaps it is time to acknowledge that she has been right about him all along, and that you need to do something to repair your relationship with her.

He is a vile excuse for a man, and a disgusting sex pest so why are you with him? Why are you choosing to spend your life with someone who treats you like a sex toy?

because he kept laughing about it and making it seem like a joke I didn’t think nothing too much of it but when he did I was actually surprised and did think right this seems a bit off now. When he did do it he said he had to prove to me he would do it as I kept saying to him you wouldn’t do that.. I know 🥲

He sounds vile, OP. What stops you leaving him? Having a child must make it harder but there are ways to make it happen. Not good for a child to be brought up with this going on even though they won't be aware of the details.

"Or I don’t know if it was me who pushed him into doing it as I said you won’t do that .."
OP, I almost missed this last statement! Initially you said he's been "joking" all week about cumming on your face whilst you're asleep, but this last statement seems to suggest he actually did. Did he? If so, this is absolutely NOT normal - you should leave and immediately report him to the police for sexual assault.

Yep. He’s disgusting.

You know what the name for a man who coerces a woman into sex is called don’t you op?

And when he ejaculated on you, that is sexual assault.

Absolutely grim and revolting You don’t need to tell me, me uses porn a lot?

The fact that there's a child in the middle of this is even more reason to reach out to your mother and real-life friends and other support and get away from this abusive man.

He was laughing about having ejaculated all over your face. When you were trying to sleep. He is vile beyond words.