He always asks when I’m uncomfortable

[FunnyHazelHedgehog]

My partner keeps asking me for head every single night especially when I am on my reds. He knows I don’t like giving head I’ve even told him countless times before I just don’t enjoy it and I’m sorry. Past few nights when he’s asked I’ve just said maybe too him uncomfortably just because I feel like when I say no it’s a problem. What do I even do anymore? Even when it comes down to sex once or twice a week maybe is fine for me but I don’t want sex like that anymore only due to me just feeling down all the time and I’m not turned on whatsoever I’m just dealing with my own battles in my head.

Past week he’s been saying oh I’m just gonna come on your face when your asleep as a joke , yesterday he said it again and I said alright you’ve been saying this for the past week now you won’t do that so shush & he actually did sort of ..I weren’t asleep but we were laying down and I was just about too drift off. Is that even normal..? Or I don’t know if it was me who pushed him into doing it as I said you won’t do that ..

This is not normal. I don’t like giving a man a blow job - mine would never ask ever - or pressure me.

This is vile.

Depending on how you want to deal with this, maybe try explaining to him that for a lot of people (women especially) sex is just as much about mental stimulation as sexual. Is he romantic, setting the mood, making you feel attractive and sexy, treating you nicely whereby you want to engage with him sexually. If it is not a generally happy relationship, he can't be surprised that your sex life is not the best. And if he is treating you so disrespectfully, why is he so shocked that you don't want to perform such an intimate act on him?

It’s the punishing you that makes me the saddest -switching the TV off making you feel bad. Been done to me and somehow they manage to make their horrible behaviour your fault and make you question whether you are out of order. Abusive and cruel

I think you chose the wrong person to ditch there

ditch him, talk to your mum again

Tell us more about your relationship. What's it like day to day, who works, who does housework, what's it like when you go out alone, what's it like when you go out together? Do you friends like him? Is he comfortable with you doing your own thing?

With respect why does all that matter?

Even if all other aspects of the relationship were acceptable the fact he is coercing OP into sex she doesn't want and is threatening to, and has, sexually assaulted her, makes the relationship an unacceptable and abusive one.

Nothing of this should matter after what OP has said he's doing and has done to her.

@FunnyHazelHedgehog

Sometimes one's mum really does know 'best'. She knows what he is and warned you about him. So now, call her and say "Mum, you were right! Please will you help me get out of here?".

Listen, even if you have to listen to a lecture or just "I told you so" it will be worth it to get away from that man. He doesn't love you, doesn't respect you. To him you're a 'receptacle' when it comes to sex. I'll bet if you look at the whole relationship you'll see that you're basically a 'convenience'; housekeeper, personal aide, etc.

So call her. Apologize if you must. If you were my daughter I'd welcome you back with open arms and do anything to get you away from him, even if it meant I had to sleep in the bathtub to make room for you.

It may not matter to you mrs thread police but the OP may find it helpful to talk about it.

No, no, no.
He's sexually assaulted you, and the rest of the time is trying to coerce you into performing sexual acts against your will.
This is so far from normal and is criminal behaviour.
You aren't safe OP. You certainly aren't happy or secure. Probably hypervigilant - you can't even trust that you'll be safe when you fall asleep. He is an absolute scumbag.
Are you isolated, do you have any support? You need to get away from him.

This is extreme behavior from him.

Continously asking you for a sex act that you do not enjoy is extreme.

Ejaculating on your face is extreme.

Using you in this way is extreme.

Disrespecting you in this way is extreme.

This is not love.

Why are on earth are people asking about other aspects of the relationship?
This abusive arse has already sexually assaulted OP, and is just one step away from raping her while she is asleep!

yesterday he said it again and I said alright you’ve been saying this for the past week now you won’t do that so shush & he actually did sort of ..I weren’t asleep but we were laying down and I was just about too drift off. Is that even normal..?

What?

Kick him out and report him to the police for sexual assault.

It is very concerning that you are asking whether it's normal for someone to bully you into sex acts you have specifically stated you do not wish to participate in, and for him to then do something so revolting without any consent.

Of course it isn't "normal". This is sexual assault.

What an awful man, you’ll be better off without him.

Honestly, the man sexually assaulted her, is pestering her on the regular for sexual acts she doesn't want to do. Whether he does housework seems inconsequential. If that's thread policing, I'm actually fine with that.

Quite.

@betterangels made a perfectly valid point about your post. Nothing to do with policing the thread.

Well yes, he is a revolting sex pest who has committed an assault. However if I had no intention of being sexually intimate with my partner, I wouldn't leave him clinging on with a "maybe". Please don't do that or he'll accuse you of being a prick tease. No means no, so stop begging. Shut him down. Tell him the more he asks the less you want it. Then sort your finances and leave.

This is absolutely disgusting. He's an abusive man. Please leave him. You are worth so much more than this shit of a man.

He sounds bloody awful - is he a bit thick ?

Oh sweetheart I wish I could give you a hug.
None of this is ok . You need to get away from him.

Jeses. What a creep. Go, run don't walk.

Your post is really shocking to read. I'm absolutely lost for words that someone would do this to their partner especially someone so vulnerable. Please leave this vile creature ASAP! You are worth so much more than this sexual harrassment. Please leave him and find somewhere safe to stay or kick him to the curb!

OP, what is your living arrangement like - is the property yours, shared, his?
If you can't get him out, can you go to your Mum's?
If you were my friend/daughter I wouldn't want you spending another night near him and I'd be urging you to consider reporting his behaviour to the police.
You've clearly said no, he's sexually assaulted you whilst you were unconscious, and still thinks it's your behaviour that's the problem, not his own.
This bears all the hallmarks of a man who's prepared to escalate his disgusting behaviour to get what he wants. He doesn't see your consent as necessary and that makes him dangerous.