I am 42. I have been single for a very long time. I have realised in spring, that a friend of mine fancied me. I have never thought of him as a potential boyfriend, he is 51. We always got a long so well, so we went on a date and since then we are very happy together, thinking about the future. It has been only 5 months but we both feel like if we have been married for years. He told me that nobody ever makes him feel that happy and loved in his life.
The problem is that he doesn’t want anymore children. As we were friend I knew this, and he knew that I wanted to meet someone to start a family. So when we both fell in love. I assumed he has changed his mind and he assumed I did the same. We were both honest with each other since the beginning. We cannot separate. We love each other.
I thought he had changed his mind lately as sometimes he is asking what names I like or jokes about how our life will be with a child. He has 2 grown up children. He is divorced but have had a good relationship with his ex wife. He is a wonderful father and has a close relationship with his children. Although he is very negative/ worried about everything : If the child is abnormal, if we separate, the sleepless nights, babies are nightmare, the fact that we are both older and won’t be pregnant quickly … I don’t know how to reassure him that all will be fine.
I am confused because he said he doesn’t want anymore children but we don’t use any protection and I don’t take the pill. So I warned him that there is a small chance that I could become pregnant this way. He reassured me if that would happened he would then change his mind and be happy. He would fully assume his father responsibility's. That would be destiny then !
I understand, respect and love him. I don’t want to upset him and make him do anything he doesn’t want to do. But with the facts I’ve stated above I feel I shouldn’t give up on us and have a little hope he could change his mind or that I could fall pregnant. After all It has been only 5 months. But I also ponder if I am not wasting my final chances to become a mother as I am 42. The only thing I would like is to at least try but he doesn’t want he always remove himself.