My therapist googled my daughter

[VaseHalfFull]

Just started some psychotherapy as trying to process why my adult daughter who is struggling has again stopped speaking to me. In session 2 the therapist revealed that she had googled my daughter. I think this is not Ok. But not sure if this is now normal practice. Just asking for reality check in a wobbly time.

No, not normal practice. Very weird and intrusive.

What qualifications does your therapist have? Are they registered with a professional body?

Completely inappropriate. I would get another therapist and report this one.

The term therapist isn’t a protected title. Anyone can call themselves a therapist, or can do a 6 week course and still set themselves up with some of the professional bodies.

end the work and find someone else.

Hugely unprofessional. Wow.

ditch the therapist, but also report your concerns about them to their regulatory body (BACP?)

I have an incredible therapist. She is completely professional but also warm and kind.

I think it can take a couple of tries to find a good one, so do try again.

Not normal to do it, or to tell you about it.

Sorry but you need to find a new therapist.

What sort of therapist is she?

Was she always a therapist - I mean, did she go to university to study the subject, get a job in that field and stay in that field? or

Is she a woman in her 40's who has had to rethink her earning potential after a relationship breakdown and whose friends have told her she's a really good listener so did an online therapy course.

Theres a big difference

But no, she should'nt be googling your daughter. And even if she did, she certainly shouldn't be telling you!

This is inappropriate completely.

I feel like we need more context though - why did she google your daughter, and how exactly did that come up in conversation?!

How bizarre. And for what reason? Surely she shouldn't even need to know your daughter's name, let alone start looking her up online.
If this person is registered with the counselling body or as a psychotherapist then they should be reported. You need to stop using them. And tell them what they've done is intrusive, unprofessional, and not even remotely helpful.

I am training as a therapist and this is completely unacceptable.

Especially to tell you that she's done it!!

I'm not sure that it's exactly against guidelines or specifically that you are told not to do this, but it seems very odd, especially as your therapy should be about you. Not your dd.

I had a therapist who started mentioning my husband and children's names to me when I'd never mentioned them to her - it freaked me out, and I knew she'd googled me, because I work in a creative field and have a biog written about me online which includes these details.

She was professionally trained, a Dr, part of professional body - and she still did this. I stopped seeing her as it freaked me out

i feel like it’s almost like a breach of confidentiality….

I hope you reported her too MsCactus. That's completely unacceptable

Yes it is a bit.

Unethical. Don't go back to her. She clearly lacks good judgment. Report if you can and want to but first off, protect yourself. I'm sorry it's happened but glad you found out after only two appointments.

Are you sure you didn't? I used a clients partners name last week and she was surprised as she didn't think she'd mentioned his name, but she definitely had! I never google clients.

Yeah, it’s a good thing you’ve found out early on. I am curious to know how you responded to her in the session?!

I guess in one vein, at least she was open with you about it. But it’s still not ok. It seems she’s lacking in professional boundaries and needs more training… I would file a complaint to her professional body. If she’s a counsellor, that’s usually BACP or UKCP.

What’s wrong with googling your daughter? You’re seeing said therapist because your daughter won’t speak to you, I’m sure she wants to get a ‘wider picture’ of the story as she’s only hearing one side of it, so she googled your daughter to get a bit of a bigger picture of the story, then she’s very transparent about it and tells you because in her mind she’s not doing nothing wrong. I really don’t see the big issue.

The whole point of a therapist is that they don't see "both sides". They'll be there to support the OP to make the best decisions for her.

I'd not trust that person it's breaching the confidentiality and also scary that my info is leaked . Another reason I cannot be open to other people .

I think it’s very weird behaviour and she shouldn’t know more about you than you tell her.

What was she hoping to find out? Is your daughter famous/an influencer/well known in her field and the therapist needed some context for something you’d told her? If not I think I’d find another therapist, you would be able to trust her.

Is she fully qualified or a trainee?

This. The fact they actually told you shows they lack people skills. Did they not consider how weird that would make a client feel??

This. I hope you have properly researched your therapist. The title therapist means absolutely bugger all.

No I deliberately didn't name them. I also was talking a lot about career stuff, but again not naming the companies as it was high profile. I think she just got nosey

What is this ‘therapist’s’ qualification? Which professional body do they belong to? HCPC, BABCP, BPS? This will help you work out both if they are actually trained/qualified to give the support you’re looking for, and if they are who to complain to about this breach of professional behaviour.

That's really naughty!