Ex Husband Moving in with Girlfriend After Two Weeks

[HappyOak]

Divorced my husband after being 29 years married … he’s been living in the marital home since the divorce four months ago .
I wanted to put the house up for sale and split the proceeds but he wants to live there … I agreed he could stay til after Christmas then he has the choice to buy me out or we put it up for sale.He promised to pay me a small amount of rent but I’m yet to see a penny .
Went round to pick up some stuff the other day and he’s turned the house into a filthy hovel, bins overflowing, dead flies everywhere, dishes unwashed, rubbish in every room, you get the picture …
I was distraught and wanted to go berserk at him but my partner convinced me it wasn’t worth it … now he tells me he’s got a new girlfriend and intends to move in with her in the very near future even though they’ve been dating a week … his girlfriend calls herself my kids “ spare mum” even though she’s never met them (they’re grown up aged 29 and 28). Unsure what her situation is but she’s lost custody of her own children.
So much to unpack here but basically I don’t know where to begin to tackle these multi faceted issues… like I’m lost for words … he’s turned my house into a squalid dump and now he’s moving in with a woman he barely knows .. every time I try and approach him he’s aggressive and evasive … any suggestions how I can get him to sort himself out ???

Did the house not firm part of the financial settlement OP?

*form

Your ex is a c*nt. He should not be treating you like that!!!
His new girlfriend has alot of audacity, is she alot younger?
I'd recommend citizen's advice bureau. I'm sorry it's come to this.

The only thing you have to tackle is getting the house sold.

You're divorced, what he does in his private life is none of your business. What his new girlfriend is like, how quickly he moves in with her, whether she tries to call herself "spare mum" (I can see that going down so well with your near 30 year old kids!), none of it is any of your business or your problem.

So just forget about it, let it go.

And to be honest, it sounds like it might be beneficial to you anyway. A lot easier to sell the house if he's not living there any more!

Leave them to it. if they want to live in squalor that's up to them.

Men will go anywhere to have a roof over their heads. Leave him to it.

Seek advice about selling up.

Leave him to it and get the house sold.

Be glad he is gone. What he does and where he lives...put out of your thoughts.
Pay a cleaning and waste removal company.
Clean and clear house
Put on market
Take your share of the money
Hooray for your own life

There’s nothing you can do to sort him out.

He is saying it all to wind you up. Whether it’s true that he is dating someone or her calling herself a spare mum, or made up shit. It doesn’t matter. Your kids are adults. They are young and vulnerable to her behaviour.

You need to concentrate on getting the house sorted. Did you not do the financial part of the divorce?

He is a dick. Let it focus you on sorting the house. You may need to go down a legal route.

Was this agreement between you in words only?

Get the house cleaned and take the cost from his share of the sale.

Surely she would dump him at the sight of the dirty hovel he's living in.

It's smoke and mirrors op. Get the house sorted and on the market.

If she is indeed your adult DCs "spare mum" she can start saving for a deposit or something for them! 😁

No it was a verbal agreement to sell the house once we were divorced

Yes :(

That's unusual OP. Was there no agreement about your assests? Is the house mortgaged in both your names? Anyway it just needs to get on the market after a deep clean, which it sounds like you'll end up arranging and paying for, but it'll be worth it just to cut ties properly. Seems a bit late to see a solicitor about dividing your assets but maybe you should if this was a DIY divorce

Deep clean on the house and get on the market asap.

Surely this is good for you? He's moving out, thinking he won't lose face because it's to a girlfriend, but we know it will be a disaster. Once he's moved out, change locks and forget to give him a key, get the house on the market and deep cleaned and hope it goes through before he decides to move back in.

I can't believe you got divorced without a financial settlement in place. My solicitor would not permit this. Get it back on track today.

Go back to your solicitor and sort this out. I can't believe this wasn't part of your divorce dealings. You should still be entitled to something, especially if you're name is on the mortgage deeds.

You are in a precarious position with a verbal agreement.
Drop the girlfriend conversation, who cares who he lives with. Who cares what she calls herself, your kids certainly won't think of her that way.
Main focus is house or cash. Get a valuation if you haven't already. Get a financial order drafted covering him giving you half the value of the house and ask him to sign that, if you think he can afford to buy you out. Put a clause in there that if he can't then the house is to be sold and he needs to keep it in good order until that point. Again, all in writing. Unless you can afford to walk away here you need to get all this tied up legally.

I'm confused. Are you concerned about the cleanliness of his loving conditions?

Or are you concerned about him not agreeing to sell the place and backing out of your verbal agreement?

Madness. Get legal advice on the house. Hopefully you haven’t signed a final financial break with the divorce.
the girlfriend is nothing to do with you. Get the house on the market ASAP.

Consult a solicitor to see whether legally you can put the house up for sale as soon as he moves out. You can then employ some cleaners to deep clean the house.

I agree with other posters. Get legal advice re selling the house asap.
Are you currently living with your partner? Do you need money asap ?