Husband taking photos of me when I’m asleep!

[Par1sappartment]

Happened let me use his phone to take a landscape photo when we were out and about. He walked on and I thought I would have a look at the photos he had taken of us on holiday. Before I reached them however, I saw two pics, horrendous looking ones of me vulnerable and asleep with my mouth wide open. AIBU? Don’t think he should have done that as I feel he’s invaded my privacy.
Didn’t let on I’d seen them but sent them by email to myself then deleted them from his phone. What on earth was he going to do with them and why had he taken them?
Tonight, he nodded off beside me on the couch, so I held up my iPad and focussed it on his face but didn’t snap him. He opened his eyes and said, “Oh did you take my photo then?” I said, “No, I was just adjusting iPad and anyway it wouldn’t be right to take your photo without your permission while you were asleep would it?”
And he said, “Quite!”

oh good lord really... how old are you guys?

What’s age got to do with it? @distractmeagain

^ this exactly

Unless you were in a sexually vulnerable position ? In which case that changes it all ..

Creepy as fuck! I would be having separate bedrooms, and putting a lock on the door on mine! Then I would be making plans to divorce him.

Because it sounds childish.

I would hate this OP. It’s the sort of thing silly schoolkids do on coaches on long haul school trips.

Why didn’t you just ask him why he was taking photos of you asleep?

I'd be worried he sent them to someone for a laugh. Bit of a weird photo to tale. Why didn't you ask him why he took them, and to refrain in future?

It does seem a bit weird and mean to try and take unflattering pics of your partner when they're asleep. Maybe they find it funny, but if I were you I'd just ask that he doesn't do it. Don't bother beating about the bush. Just say it's not nice and you don't consent to these pictures.
I understand why you'd find it unpleasant.

Yes it is and that’s what I think too. We’ve been together 20 years! @AgainandagainandagainSS

I’d be doing a search for the photos on his phone to check if he had sent them to anyone

Just ask him??

@Terracata Thats what I’m worried about.

I mean in no way is this in that territory- but I immediately thought of Gisèle Pélicot and the trial. Surely you have to ask him wtf he was doing with these pictures and wtf does he think he is doing taking photos of you, asleep, in your own bed/home??? At best he’s a twat at worst.. well who knows

well i suggest its the usual MN answer for you then.... you need to pack your bags, do it right now, and you need to run.. run as fast as you can!

Perhaps he was trying to video you as proof that you snoore like a train!

This thread has escalated quickly, even for MN 🤣🤣

Why not ask him? I take sleeping pics of my mother as a joke and show her later. We've done the same as friends as well, especially if someone looks funny. So it really depends on why he has done so and what his goal was.

Well he kept it a secret from me and they really were terrible. I would not want them in circulation to friends or anyone for that matter!
@Fiery30

I think it’s a sneaky, disrespectful thing to do.

Both me and DH have taken the odd sleepy pic, either if it’s funny or cute (with kids or dog etc). I suppose the difference is we’d show the other when they woke up.

The likelihood is it’s nothing sinister (and I think you’re maybe hypersensitive because of the Pelicot trial) but the easiest thing to do is ask him and tell him it’s something you are not happy with.

I’ve asked him now and he says it was as a joke. A joke for whom? Not me as he kept it from me.

If you've been together so long, why not confront him and ask?

I wondered if they were for him to use for his own personal reasons?

🤮...

Are you happily married? Do you trust him?