Dating a man that doesn’t drive?

[Lifesforloving1]

Would it put you off dating a man that doesn't drive ??

Seeing a good looking man handle a gear stick is 🔥

No. I can drive...😁

Saying that, I DO like it when my husband drives. It's that "serious, concentrating" face and yes, that swift gear change...😂

He wouldn't be the partner for me. While I completely get why some people don't or don't need to drive, I live quite rurally and wouldn't want to always have to be giving them lifts home/to the station etc

Where do you live OP? That makes a big difference.
It wouldn't put me off if I lived in or near a city with good transport links but it would definitely put me off someone living where I currently do, in a rural area with poor public transport.
The nearest town is a 30 minute drive away and it's difficult to get around the shops there without the car due to how they are spaced out over a large area. Also, there are poor delivery services here so you really need a car to pick up heavy/bulky stuff.
If I was with someone who couldn't drive and needed to be collected from all over the place and couldn't take their turn at doing things like taking stuff to the tip/picking up shopping etc. I would resent it after a while. It's just not practical.

I learnt to drive in my late 30s when I moved rurally. Before that I lived in a city and I didn't need to drive so I really do get why people don't drive and also why some can't drive but it's really impractical where I currently am.

Yes.

Absolutely not.

“I don’t want no scrub”.

And agree with PP that “ethical reasons,” unless you are a humanitarian lawyer in central London, is a cop out excuse.

Yes it would- massive turn off. Unless there is a genuine reason (medical etc).

I had an ex who simply couldnt be bothered to learn and just expected me to drive him around everywhere- then had the audacity to criticise my driving. Pissed me right off.

No, if he is a nice caring man with a good job then it seems fickle to kick him to the kerb (excuse the pun) just because he doesn't drive. I can imagine the uproar on here if roles were reversed and someone said a guy dumped her because she doesn't drive.

I get peeved when non drivers suggest a day out, and then it transpires they want me to drive them somewhere they can’t easily or usually get to. When the burden isn’t shared it’s starts to irk

it’s like if your partner can’t cook. They should learn and take their turn. Or otherwise always wash up and not ask for specific things that are laborious to cook

These are my feelings too. It's the imbalance that irritates me. I'd date a non driver ONLY if they paid for taxis/used the bus and didnt default or assume it should be me driving every time. However, having dated non drivers before, they all have expected it and assumed I'm their personal chauffeur which is why they are exes. I'm not Parker from Thunderbirds FGS.

It’s never been something I’ve discussed on a date. I think it comes down to where you live. I work with some young women from a working class background and driving and cars seem to be important to that sort.

Yes, unless the are medical issues involved, a non-driving partner is a deal breaker.

I don't want to have to drive everywhere, putting wear and tear on the car that I pay for alone, never being able to drink with a meal or at a celebration.

'Ethical reasons' is navel gazing nonsense - I bet the majority of these people expect lifts.

Yes it would put me off.

I’m the only driver in my family as a single parent although my daughter is learning. You need a car where we live and being the only driver feels like such a big responsibility.

I do like it with my boyfriend picks me up as it feels so nice to have someone drive me around for once. Obviously I’m happy to drive too and it feels fair that it’s a joint responsibility rather than something that is up to me or him.

Very much so. For multiple reasons.

Yes, even if there was a genuine reason. But then I’m a practical person. In our area, public transport is crap and you have to travel for decent jobs, decent shops and other amenities. It’s not a city with good public transport and things you can easily walk or cycle to.

My first serious boyfriend couldn’t/wouldn’t drive. I didn’t think it would bother me but after a few weeks it started to eat away at me just how needy and entitled he was about it. I always had to go to his house for dates etc as the last bus from mine to his was too early. If we went to a pub or restaurant, I had to drive which meant I couldn’t drink - but he did. (The one walkable pub near his house was a right dive so we never went there)! He’d expect me to pick him up when I went shopping so he could do his weekly shop! Then he started asking me to drop him off and pick him up from his work on my commute which was quite a detour and we weren’t even living together.

As I say, needy and entitled. He got ditched after 2/3 months! Next boyfriend had a car so we were equally matched and shared driving - we’re still together 40 years later, still share the driving!

I can imagine driving isn’t as big an issue if you live in a city with good public transport or walkable amenities but otherwise it IS a necessary life skill if you want to be independent.

I didn't think it would be a problem as I love driving but it became very tiresome and I often had to go to places I didn't want to go give ExH a lift. I also ended up doing all the driving when he fancies a road trip - Somerset to NI in 6 days, and Somerset to Scotland in a week. A hell of a lot of miles. He wouldn't let me choose the route either so the NI trip was about 400 miles longer than it could have been. Was horrific. And he slept in the car for most of the journeys and turned off the radio (so he could sleep), so I had no conversation and nothing to keep me entertained except hundreds of miles of driving. He could have looked at the (quite impressive) scenery, which I thought was the whole point of the trip, but no. Many reasons he's an ExH.

Driving is a basic life skill. Comparisons already made to knowing how to cook or make tea, stop bleeding and simple first aid, swimming.
How much one drives is up to our discretion and our circumstances.
Not bothering to learn could make family life more difficult. I lived in Suburbia with good public transport mostly.
It was a two hour journey by bus to the hospital for Cardio out-patient clinic. Or 20 minutes by car.

I once was arranging to meet a guy who could only meet somewhere with pu lic transport. I ended up cancelling the date for other reasons, so we never actually met, but I probably would have asked why he didn't drive, whether it was cost or environmental reasons or something else.

It’s very possible to prefer a man who can drive but have no interest in what sort of car he drives, or even if he owns one. For me it is having the skill, nothing to do with the status of a car. Men who flaunt flash cars are a total turn off.

What was his reason for not driving?

And agree with PP that “ethical reasons,” unless you are a humanitarian lawyer in central London, is a cop out excuse.

Why? What if they try and live the rest of their life ethically too? If it's the only th8ng they do, then yes, it's a cop-out, bit if it's part of their lifestyle, it's not.

Most non-drivers I know make sure they know what public transport is available locally, what is in walking distance, what is in cycling distance. They're not all relying on other people.

10 years ago id say not an issue to me. Present day, 2 children, id say never again.

He wouldn't let me choose the route either so the NI trip was about 400 miles longer than it could have been.

That's unreasonable. The driver gets to choose.

I agree. Flash cars don’t interest me at all. I couldn’t tell an Audi from a Merc from a VW from a Porsche and I care even less.
I drive a 57 plate KA and drive less than 5000 a year. As long as a car gets me from A to B when I need it to, that’s all I care about and I’d feel the same about any car a man drives.

What is this 1974?