Dating a man that doesn’t drive?

[Lifesforloving1]

Would it put you off dating a man that doesn't drive ??

@LoobyLous maybe if someone in the couple couldn’t drive, but they offered to fund a taxi every other night out, and also didn’t expect you to give them lifts or always drive on a day out, or expect you to drive on holiday and stuff, then it would be okay. Although limiting. I’m sure lots of non drivers are like that.

I get peeved when non drivers suggest a day out, and then it transpires they want me to drive them somewhere they can’t easily or usually get to. When the burden isn’t shared it’s starts to irk.

it’s like if your partner can’t cook. They should learn and take their turn. Or otherwise always wash up and not ask for specific things that are laborious to cook 🤷🏼‍♀️

Yes, I only have three deal breakers and that’s one of them.

No not really I drive so it doesn’t bother me. He gets himself everywhere independently without me if needs be and is now learning to drive.

Context needed. Has he bothered to try and learn?

Are there any health reasons?

If he just couldn't be arsed to learn then that would be a dealbreaker.

I wouldn't although did at uni but we lived in a city and I had a licence but no car.

Depends where and why. One of exes can drive, but no longer has a car - he will hire one when needed, but uses public transport a lot.

Wouldn't have thought twice about it when I lived in London.
Grew up rurally - that would be more challenging, and I'd want to know why.

Dated a blind man who is the most amazing person ever, and very glad I agreed to meet him, but he said more than one potential date had fallen through when he told them he couldn't drive.

Yes. I drive, partner doesn’t. It’s a total pain in the arse tbh. I hate, hate, hate having to be the driver all the f-ing time!

Wouldn’t put me off. If he’s a good guy then go for it.

Yes. If it were a basic life skill it would have to be affordable or free, as a human right, for a start. Plenty of people don't have the large sums it costs to have lessons and tests and then run and maintain a car!

I don’t have a license because I never passed my test so I don’t have any right to be put off by it, but to be honest I think I might be put off a little. My current DP drives even though we don’t actually need to where we live. My ex drove and the one before that could drive but he just used to get us taxis everywhere so he could get plastered 😂.

I can drive, if you put me behind a wheel I could get you where you needed to go, but in order to pass my test I’d need a refresher lesson or two. I would be very put off by a man who had no idea how to drive at all I will make that distinction.

Yes, it would put me completely off. I wouldn't date someone who didn't drive, no matter why they didn't/couldn't/wouldn't. It's no different than saying one won't date someone with children. It's a personal decision based on what one wants for one's own life and we all get to set those parameters for ourselves. Not a slam on non-drivers, if you don't or can't drive and that's fine.

What's funny is that when I was dating I never met a man who didn't drive. But I live in a US state where 'car is king' so it would be highly unusual to not drive.

I wouldn't leave my DH if he suddenly couldn't drive though. That's different.

What are the ethical reasons for not driving? I hadn't really considered the ethics of driving but I'd like to know more.

It is a USEFUL life skill, and can open lots of doors for you that will remain closed otherwise. Having a life partner who cannot drive is hard work and exhausting as you are ALWAYS the designated driver. You often have to drive them to places that you are not even going to.

Not everyone lives in the middle of London, or on a busy bus route, that has buses that go every 15 minutes - to everywhere they need to go! 🙄

Presumably that it's bad for the environment, though I'd bet 9 times out of 10 this reason is used as a front, and it's actually that they're afraid of driving but don't want to lose face.

Yes.

I'd say there is a thread on this issue every week if you do a search.

But it really doesn't matter what MN thinks, it's a personal choice.

Certainly. Most people I know don't drive either for medical, ethical or just living centrally reasons. More power to them.

Depends where he lives and where you live and the distance and the public transport available.

Millions in London don't drive but why would they with all night tubes and buses, taxis, ubers, trains, trams, DLR, etc.

Ethically a big tick from me. If they drive and I don’t I’d put up with it so long as it wasn’t a divisive topic that stood between us

I can't drive myself, so it wouldn't put me off as sucb, but i'd be lying if I said I don't find it handy if a partner does drive! It's one skill they can bring to the relationship that I don't have - just like they might not be as good at, say, baking as I am......

I don't drive. I was trying but I moved to London for 10 years so gave up. But I do believe many reasons I can't. But no it wouldn't. Currently been dating since Feb and it's never been an issue

Pollution: contribution to air-borne emissions, fossil fuel consumption, rubber debris and oil on roads washing off into drains, use of rare metals now so much in vehicles is electronic. Etc, etc. Electric cars are better from a fossil fuel/emissions point of view, but electricity still needs to be generated, the weight of batteries are causing issues with faster wear in some roads and car parks. Not all car parts (of any type of car) are easily recyclable.

But it can be a lot more convenient (and often cheaper and quicker) then public transport, so we all continue to use them.

@Chonk that makes sense - I think I missed the point as I'd have described those as environmental reasons rather than ethical. I was thinking more along the lines of fast fashion and underpaid workers!!

Pollution, climate change, environmental destruction, road deaths. Absolutely horrifying.

Obviously, many people don't have much choice as public transport is inadequate (to put it mildly), so they're not to blame, but I'd be more than happy to date someone who chose not to drive for the above reasons.

Yes, because I think it displays a basic lack of interest and ambition to explore further than your immediate surroundings. Even when I lived in London I drove.
I like to explore new places and not be tied to bus and train timetables/routes.
As a really basic example, it’s very difficult to visit the Lake District outside of the really busy tourist areas. This applies to anywhere you go really. Bus/train routes can take hours whereas a car will get you there in minutes!

Absolutely a no from me.. but then again I could never live in a town let alone a city.. I could never live anywhere where people out number sheep.. so driving is a must. And no .. I'm not driving every time (although I love it .. to me it is complete freedom..)