Considering affair

[SuffolkMumof2]

I am married mum of 2 with a loving DH and great life.

I work part time for the NHS and work long hours with colleagues. I fancy one of them very much. He has already tested the waters to see if I'd be open to have a date. I dont know what to do, I really liKe the idea of a one off or 2 off.

Although it could happen at work I dont want to be caught and sacked. My entire career and home life ruined.

Bringing him home would work, the house is for me most days while DH is at work, and both my colleague and I have compatible shifts off.

I also feel guilty for considering it and wished I hadnt

Obviously it would have to work both ways. If there was something that I wasn't able to provide then, yes, as long as it was safe and we were completely honest with each other then I would be OK with it.

I am very grateful for all the feedback, both the namecalling and the constructive one.

I have seen some comments about other women not opening up about this topic and only men thinking about having affairs.

Once again, although undoubtedly wrong, I am sure many more women are on the fence like me rn.

It is their feedback I wanted to hear most, tbh

Buy a really good vibrator and get your thrills that way.

Nothing wrong with being attracted to someone else while married, it's only human - I've been there - but if you act on it you could lose everything for the sake of a shag or two....think about it. Not really worth it, is it?

If you want to leave DH then do it but a sordid affair isn't the answer.

Really? You don’t know how bad it can get?

Have you never read any of the posts from the totally broken people who have been cheated on? Never heard of divorce and how difficult co parenting can be?

If you play with fire your will get burnt. So will your children in the process.

Keep the idea in your head.

Cracking idea OP, to add to the thrill you could consider one of his friends rather than your colleague, or on the sofa while hubby is in bed. I can't think of anything wrong with your plan.

I think you need to imagine what the fallout would be like and how when that happened you'd regret this mistake. It never stays a secret so you'd have to face the music at some point.

I can’t work out what’s more pathetic.

If it’s true and this is all real.

Or if someone is sad enough to make it up.

Interesting - a man can speak for ’Us men’ as a whole to excuse cheating because it’s understandable if your partner isn’t providing adequate sexual services.

If women speak on men, showing anger or fear about men’s behaviour it’s ’NAMALT’ though.

So it’s hive mind when cheating because men are men but ‘ugh don’t lump all men in together’ when it comes to abuse and violence.

Where are the handmaids to explain that logic when we need them.

I know you don’t want to hear from people like me but affairs/flings ruin lives. Please think seriously before doing this. If you claim to love your DH & DC why would you put them through the potential pain & disruption this could cause. The lies that come with cheating can can impact the partner for many many years to come.

There's a big difference between having a bit of a crush on someone and actively considering/planning an affair. Can't you just have a bit a of a fantasy without acting on it? Think of the repercussions for your family, and his.

Honestly you are not a teenager. You have responsibilities and you are willing to risk it all for a quick bunk up. Where is your integrity?

Read a horny romance novel instead.

I have only observed affairs and their fallout but it looks like 0.1% fun and 99.9% real life misery.

So basically you’re waiting for validation and others to say ‘go for it OP have a bloody good shag with this bloke and sod how many lives you could ruin, it’s only about your needs’

You could be waiting a while…,

Why does this remind me of that Game of Thrones scene?

Why not stone her while you're at it?

But she's not being honest with him! Your referring too an open marriage she's considering an affair...

@SuffolkMumof2 ok you want fair feedback.

Your life can’t be that great if you are considering an affair.

Shagging the OM in your ‘happy’ martial bed is a giant fuck you and calculated insult to your husband.

I’ve been cheated on and I’ve been the OW without my knowledge.

In both cases neither has ever stopped chasing the high that fucking over the side gives them and never will, no matter the ‘perfect’ life veneer painted to outsiders.

Cheating is the worst thing you can do to a person you claim to love. The damage it does to them is immeasurable and lasts long after the thrill you’ve chased dulls.

And once you’ve done it you lose all claim to ever call yourself a caring, decent or loving person. Because no one who calculates cheating like this possesses any of those traits.

Not particularly.

I am well aware nobody will endorse that behaviour in here. I want to hear about women who have also considered this - which I am 100% certain there are many as thinking and considering are very different from acting.

It’s skanky behaviour and you know it

Is he married ?

Ok so in your marriage if there's a need your wife isn't fulfilling you tell her and she agrees if she's unwilling to do it for you to go elsewhere?

Hey honey, I think you should give me more blowjobs. I'm unsatisfied with every Friday night.
Wow darling, I'm sorry. But also, I don't feel like I can take on any more cocksucking atm, what with the newborn twins.
Ok but you know I'm going to go on tinder right now and find someone else to do it?
Great solution, let me know how it goes. Perhaps you can even give me some tips if she's better than me! Or we could double up one Friday a month!
Perfect!!

OP it’s a question of whether this is just a crush and you are engaging in a fantasy that you are never going to do anything about in reality or if you are seriously
considering having an affair. They are two very different things.

So, I ve been there. Decided not to pursue, never regretted - despite the fact my now ex subsequently cheated on me. Apparently there was a huge issue in our marriage, wasn’t it?
I echo other ladies feedback, look at what is the problem in your marriage :).

Wise up

The question you need to ask yourself is why ou are considering this? There must be something lacking in your marriage in a big was to consider wrecking your life,

You say you want to do it a few times yet your title says “ considering an affair”.,