Name changed because this is outing, hoping for some MN wisdom!
I have been chatting to a guy I met online for around a week. He seems nice, quite keen etc...
Last night as we were finalising plans for our date tomorrow he said when we met he would like to give me a little more context about why he and his ex wife split. Alarm bells were ringing so I asked him to give a brief outline.
Anyway he went into the whole story. Basically he cheated. From what he said his ex wife had PND following a difficult pregnancy and birth of their daughter, she became distant/snappy/physically shut down...
This, straight away was a trigger for me as this is essentially a carbon copy of what my ex husband would say to justify his cheating on me.
He went on to say he met a woman on a night out who basically pursued him for ages, he claims he eventually went to her house to tell her to stop... and the inevitable happened. (Hmmmm!)
He did say he was genuinely remorseful, regrets it, would never do it again, it was totally out of character for him, nobody could believe he would do such a thing... etc
I told him trust is a huge issue for me and I needed some time to digest this news before I'd commit to meeting.
He sent a tonne of messages saying he hoped he didn't ruin anything and he wanted to be open with me and how he would never do anything like that before.
On one hand, I appreciate his honesty as he didn't have to share any of that, but on the other.. I can't help but wonder if this is a huge red flag?
I know my ex husband was a massive man child who couldn't deal with the fact I wasn't all over him immediately after having our children, and I never want to be in this situation again, nor condone it.
Thoughts please? Can people change?