I have been with my partner on and off for five years. He has a habit of ending the relationship or walking out and not talking to me for weeks before I try and coax him back round or he would call me names and blame me for him having to leave me, and I shouldn’t keep giving him reasons to leave.
Last year he ended the relationship because I was due to give him a lift for a day out with his mates and he never committed to the time and expected me to wait around until he decided if he was actually going. I was supposed to be going for my Sunday lunch with family which he knew and he went absolutely crazy when I said look I’m going for my dinner. Expecting him to ring and say right I’m ready can you take me as my parents live only minutes away. He left me.
we got back together after a nine month break and my male friend from school who I did have a relationship with 30 years ago but we remained friends was texting me as we have done on and off for years. My partner saw the notification and went to bed. The next day he questioned me on who it was. I have mentioned him as a friend to my partner but that wasn’t enough. He said if I didn’t show him my phone there and then he would end the relationship. Que the name calling and how I’m a charlatan and a cheat and a liar. It’s my mate and he’s married and lives nowhere near me. This time two years ago I’d found out he was texting his ex and another female friend who would ring him at night and they’d discuss her losing her husband and he was helping her. When I found out I asked to see his phone and he said if I ever looked at his phone ( I did slyly read some messages and I admitted that to him and apologised) he said he would end the relationship if I ever looked at his phone again.
Am I being controlled or is he right to demand my phone?