Would you sleep with a married man? Even if you didn't want him to leave his wife.

[Coconut91]

Just wondering would anyone sleep with a married man, that you find very attractive. And you know he's married and don't want to break up his marriage or have a relationship with him?
You're also single.

I'm a married man, she was also married, she pursued me, i thought she was just flirting in a playful way, until she kissed me, not once did i ever think about kissing her, but since she did initiate it, i couldn't stop, over the weeks, one thing lead to another.
This is no excuse, but both of our situations at home was dire, she believed that we saw something in each other, the desire to be seen, and desired again.
I'm definitely not proud but it was like a switch being flicked on, being in a dead bedroom for so long, but loving my wife so obviously im going to except her lack of drive, over the years it somehow suppressed my desires, until someone else ignited them, utterly shameful i know.
It was short lived, and in some ways im happy to have experienced what it felt like to actually be desired again.

rightly or wrongly the one at fault is the one in the relationship if they are loyal then they wont cheat

"I couldn't stop." Yes you could. You chose not to stop. If things were that dire you should have made an honest break if you weren't able to save things in your marriage before finding someone else.

If course the one who is on a relationship is wrong that goes without saying but pursuing or knowingly sleeping with an attached person makes you just as scummy imo

There really is no such thing as girl code

Oh there really is. Just because you think getting dick is a reason to betray other women doesn’t mean many of us don’t feel a sense of loyalty towards their own sex rather than be a penis panderer.

This thread just shows how many out there have absolutely no morals and only give a fuck about their own selfish ego boost. It’s repulsive

@DarkenedSoul you weak little worm.

fair points too, morally its omg

Utter rubbish. How the hell do you know the ins and outs of other people's lives, claiming that 99% of people haven't been in a situation where they were tested?

Just because you have had a morals bypass doesn't mean that others have.

I did.

He wasn’t married but was in a long term relationship. No intention of either us leaving our relationships.

I wouldn’t do it again.

No. I can find other men physically attractive, sure, but that's where it ends. I would never act upon it. Firstly because I have some sort of moral code, but moreover it's an instant turn off when men show they will lie and cheat for the thrill of sex.

Bullshit. We all owe other human beings the decency of not doing things to hurt them.
Being with a cheater is enabling his abuse of his wife. Any woman who would do that to other women is scum.

I'm not denying that in the slightest, im not saying what i did was right, im just explaining what happened, why it happened, i didnt actively seek anything, but i also didn't stop it when she showed me what she wanted from me.

Sociopaths assume everyone else is like them.
It's a stupid rationalization. They're trying to convince themselves they are normal.

It happened because you are weak and had poor boundaries with the opposite sex.

I understand - I’ve been there. Still there. I wouldn’t make that mistake again though - that emotional rollercoaster was hard to ride.

I think - among plenty of other considerations - some people associate sex very strongly with emotional involvement, while others can treat it as a lovely shared activity with no more enmeshment than a gym session, say, or a dance class. There are probably more women in the first group, though you definitely find both sexes in each.

Being 'able to get boyfriends' doesn't come into it, neither does 'having feelings'.

I feel really sorry for women who do end up being mistresses/OWs with full emotional involvement. It should be mentioned, though, that some actively choose this because they don't want more than half a relationship.

You are full of shit and are just rationalizing your callous behavior towards another woman. Every human has a duty to not do things to hurt others. You enabled and participated in abuse and it's despicable. The picture of you doing this while lecturing him on his abuse of his wife is unintentionally hilarious.
Such hypocrisy.

You (and other PPs saying 'oh yes I was in this situation blah blah blah) are sort of proving my point about most people won't ever find out that they're perfectly capable of things they find morally repugnant. You may well have been in situations similar but they clearly weren't intense enough for you to engage with them then.

All sorts of people do all sorts of things they would have sworn up and down they would 'never' do prior to finding themselves doing it - they just need the right set of circumstances at the right time. You are no different, even if you like to think that you are.

Well yes the man in a relationship who has sex with one of these women is the one who is betraying their wife or partner. And is thus at fault.

But if these women are actively pursuing men in relationships I don't see how they can be described as not being at fault. Of course purposefully trying to break up a relationship is a fault. They are faulted human beings wanting to cause distress and upset on the partners, wives and children of the men they are pursuing. Home wrecker kink it was described as.

No.
never.

Why didn't you just end your marriage over the dead bedroom rather than cheat? You could cheat until your dick turned blue and it certainly wouldn't solve your marital issues. It would only worsen them.
I suspect you'd still have done it without the dead bedroom situation.

Absolute bollocks but if that’s how you justify it to yourself then crack on .

You don’t seem to understand others have a moral code that’s more important to them than an ego boost.

In my world attached men are off limits - end of even if it breaks your heart to walk
away you do it if you have an iota of dignity.m. I’m in my 50’s now and that’s been my moral compass my whole life. Try having one sometime

No actually the word misogyny is actually the new get out of jail word for women, to avoid any responsibility for their own abusive and harmful actions against other people when it comes to sex.

It's pretty offensive actually. Because women who part take in affairs have some of the worst types of internalised misogyny possible.

One of the most important changes in recent history for women is the concept of informed sexual consent. Personally I think there is little that is more hateful towards women than assisting someone in being able to remove that from another woman.

See it as you see it.

As long as you term his affair as me abusing another human, I can never agree with you.

Affairs are awful things. Abusive? Only on MN.

Lots of people do suck. Some people don't. Their ethics are not situational and can't be shaken. You cannot accept this simply because you want to believe it is forgiveable to be unethical. It makes you feel better about yourself.
This is rationalization 101.