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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you sleep with a married man? Even if you didn't want him to leave his wife.

383 replies

Coconut91 · 19/08/2024 18:34

Just wondering would anyone sleep with a married man, that you find very attractive. And you know he's married and don't want to break up his marriage or have a relationship with him?
You're also single.

OP posts:
MorrisZapp · 19/08/2024 20:16

redrudolph · 19/08/2024 19:46

No. I would not want to cause trauma for another person. It also makes you a cheap tart.

Plenty of single men out there OP

Vile misogyny.

MorrisZapp · 19/08/2024 20:17

arethereanyleftatall · 19/08/2024 19:44

You don't op. I would honestly, and this isn't sone way of having a dig, seek some counselling. He isn't hard to resist. You are desperate to 'win'. Be the chosen one. It's almost always because of your own childhood. Maybe your father didn't pick you? But it isn't him you are attracted to, it's the fact he's picked you. Which of course he hasn't, just you're easy.

Easy. What a vile way to speak of a human being.

Dymaxion · 19/08/2024 20:19

Other than the one I am currently married to ? nope !

Wyksixy · 19/08/2024 20:22

Absolutely not

the idea is disgusting

DeadbeatYoda · 19/08/2024 20:22

No, absolutely not. It is indecent.

mouseyowl · 19/08/2024 20:24

I wouldn't.
Married men do tend to be more attractive though, better manners, better dressed, healthier, usually all benefits of having a wife, so it seems in very bad taste and even more unfair to take advantage of the wife work that's gone into him.
I'm also attractived to a man's character, so him cheating on his wife would be a mood killer for me.

Cock is plentiful, you can find unmarried cock quite easily.

EveSix · 19/08/2024 20:25

No, obviously not. If theirs was an open marriage and his wife liked the idea (no secrets), I might. But if there was the slightest whiff of her not being an equally willing participant in their arrangement, it would be a hard no.

PattyDuckface · 19/08/2024 20:26

No,

The pain inflicted on the children from affairs is I think akin to child abuse. So if you want to damage innocent children and ruin their childhood then sure, go ahead and get your ego kick of being able to "take a married man".

saidthebellsofstclements · 19/08/2024 20:27

Coconut91 · 19/08/2024 18:50

Well there must be plenty of women who do it even just going by the relationship forum, but no one here is saying they would.
I have a married man pursuing me, I'm very attracted to him,.I'm single and I definitely don't want a relationship with him

I've done it, a long time ago.. As someone else said it was an ego boost.
I was in my early twenties, twenty years later I feel embarrassed of my behaviour. It was a really nasty thing to do to a woman who had done nothing to me.
They did eventually divorce, I don't think she ever found out about me and her husband.

TheChosenTwo · 19/08/2024 20:30

No way. I’ve been settled in a relationship for over 20 years now and would never seek out a ONS with anyone. What a waste of my relationship!

I know you say you don’t want a relationship with him but just find someone else to have a night with.

EveSix · 19/08/2024 20:31

OP, you've thanked one poster for basically saying women who do this aren't (as much) in the wrong (as the man himself). It looks as if you're trying to justify a decision you may already have made?

Most of us could 'have' any number of attractive men currently married, happy or otherwise, to women like ourselves. That's the key bit; the solidarity with other women, women who are likely mothers to children like ours. It's low and pathetic, so we don't do it.

Eldrick47s · 19/08/2024 20:37

KaleQueen · 19/08/2024 20:15

@Coconut91 no. No but you go for it if you think that’s the right thing to do right now, while you’re single, and carefree.
Then when you’ve found the love of your life and you marry him and carry his children, when you’ve built your world around him, and love him for better and for worse, and you think he does you, you’ll be totally cool when he goes off and shags someone new while you’re married… probably younger and now far more attractive than you’ve become. She’ll be fun and exciting and sexy just like you think you are right now. And you’ll be the wife at home with his kids breaking your heart when you find out. But you’ll be cool with that. I’m sure 👍 after all, he’s not sleeping with you anymore as you’re boring now.

Edited

Great post. That should make OP (and anyone else tempted) think.

StopInhalingRevels · 19/08/2024 20:40

SamW98 · 19/08/2024 19:15

100% - I hate this BS ‘well I’m not the one who’s married’ to justify knowing fucking another woman’s husband.

Of course the man is a disgusting POS that doesn’t need to be said but women that facilitate them are filth.

We’ve all been approached by married men - it’s not difficult to say no if you have an ounce of self respect.

Edited

Absolutely this.

The idea that some cheating skank of a man thinks you're special is just funny. You'll be one of many he's angling at in the hope one of you is so lowly and desperate you'll bite.

As PP says, we all get chased by married men. I find it hugely insulting when it happens because I ponder if they see something in me that suggests I'd be willing to bend over for them. Perhaps not, perhaps it's just a numbers game and I've got a vagina.

I can't imagine being pathetic enough to let a married sleaze shag me.

BrightBreezy · 19/08/2024 20:45

The women that do this really don't care about anyone but themselves. They'll do exactly what they want because they can. They aren't thinking about the wife or the children, they really don't care (same as the married man!). They probably have complete contempt for the wife. Do I want to be that type of person? No thank you. I'd like to think I'm a bit more than a vacuous bitch.

km1982 · 19/08/2024 20:46

Absolutely not!!!!

Lovemybunnies · 19/08/2024 20:47

His poor wife.

km1982 · 19/08/2024 20:47

Coconut91 · 19/08/2024 18:50

Well there must be plenty of women who do it even just going by the relationship forum, but no one here is saying they would.
I have a married man pursuing me, I'm very attracted to him,.I'm single and I definitely don't want a relationship with him

Do you think the fact that you don't want a relationship with him makes it ok??

Growlybear83 · 19/08/2024 20:49

Of course not, and anyone who did so, knowing he was married, is the lowest of the low.

7wwkw · 19/08/2024 20:56

No.
What a terribly sad situation.
You do know that affairs destroy lives?
Do not do it. You will be hurting someone and that is not ok.

SleepingStandingUp · 19/08/2024 20:56

Coconut91 · 19/08/2024 18:50

Well there must be plenty of women who do it even just going by the relationship forum, but no one here is saying they would.
I have a married man pursuing me, I'm very attracted to him,.I'm single and I definitely don't want a relationship with him

He might be physically attractive op but what does it say about his personality that he actively pursues other women to fuck behind his wife's back?

JanefromLondon1 · 19/08/2024 20:57

Elasticatedtrousers · 19/08/2024 18:53

No because I’d be supporting a man in the removal of another woman’s right to informed sexual consent and her personal agency and colluding in her abuse for my own gain.

And that’s pretty grim.

Edited

This.

Didimum · 19/08/2024 20:57

No. Any man looking to cheat on his wife would be instantly unattractive to me, no matter how physically good looking he might be.

GreatTheCat · 19/08/2024 20:57

No, I wouldn't and haven't.

I met up with a guy on line once. We had 2 meetings in public. We kissed. I found out he was married. I stopped seeing him.

Ringerphone · 19/08/2024 20:57

Yes. No issue. He's cheating not me.

Ringerphone · 19/08/2024 20:59

I can't imagine being pathetic enough to let a married sleaze shag me

but sometimes you just fancy someone and want a good shag. You don’t have to think highly of them.

his poor wife indeed. He’s a shit head. Doesn’t mean I am