Do you think once a man hits you once he’ll do it again?

[Missmaria95]

I’m 28 and he’s 37, we’ve been together nearly 3 years. I’ve always knew he had a temper, not necessarily towards me, just no patients. He is an ex body builder, so for the first few months of our relationship he was taking steroids, admittedly he treated me really bad during those times. But last week, he punched me in the face, not hard enough for me to be in pain but all the same he punched me, he then spat in my face twice. This happed because I was moody due to us travelling 2 hours with his friend to end up just driving back home because his friends girlfriend didn’t want to participate, but I ‘ruined’ it by being moody. He apologised and said how much he hates himself. Like I say, this is the first time in the whole relationship he actually hit me. Do you think because I ‘forgave’ him he’ll do it again?

Stay safe OP. Get out before he gets home. This man is dangerous, please don’t go back there as you know he will try and persuade you that you’ve over reacted (you absolutely haven’t)

.....and again and again and AGAIN!

Oh, love.

Call Women's Aid. For strength and support to get away from this man.

Of course it's 100% wrong for a man to hit you.

Once is too many times.

Please value yourself and get rid of him.

So proud of you OP. It’s difficult to leave but you’ve done the right thing.

What an absolute cock he is. It is worth considering whether you report him to the police. He’s probably done this before and will certainly do it again.

Don’t tell him where you are.

An absolute woman hater. Pack.

I know two women who were murdered by their partners. It was apparently the first instance of violence in both cases. Its not worth the risk. You are worth more than wondering if and when it might happen again. Don't minimise his behaviour by saying it didn't really hurt. He was violent. He hurt you and he will do it again.

Yes. Please leave and make sure you're safe!

Don't walk. Run.

Once you have left and are safely away I would definitely report this incident to the police.

I know how you feel, I've been in this exact spot.
The abuse will just gradually get worse and worse. He will try everything to reel you back in once he realises you've left.
I had to tell my ex not to persist in contacting me as if he did I would call the police. Then I blocked everywhere.
It sounds extreme but it's the only way to break the cycle of being reeled back in. I was reeled back in 5 or 6 times before I finally blocked.

I can't tell you how good my life is now 2 years later. I am SO HAPPY and have such amazing fun friends.

Stay strong

Once would be the end of it, there would be no second chances.

Good for you for leaving. Don’t look back, don’t fall for any apologies. Never ignore red flags from the off when you’re in a new relationship, better to leave on day one than stick around with an abuser.

Being on your own can be great, a time to develop your self worth and live freely.

It will happen again and I speak from experience. No matter how sorry they say they are and they love you and are ashamed etc...it will happen again. X

So many red flags anyway…
Age gap, steroid use, “used to treat me badly then” (in what should have been the honeymoon phase), leading to now when he took his anger out on you by punching you.

He’s a bodybuilder, the next punch could be so strong as to kill you.

Realise your own self worth OP and leave him. Yes he will hit you again. Your worth more than that.

I know op have made the right decision already but I thought I want to share my experience.

1st ex for 5 years - same behaviour as op's boyfriend and hasn't stopped after 5 years.

2nd ex for 8 years- he never hit me or call me names ever even our worse arguments. Simply not in him.

Current husband for 20 year+ never hit me or call me names, he is the worst tempered partner I have had (included the short term ones), worst case he will hit the wall (need repairs) but never physical to me because it is simply not in him.

It's quite clear to me that the chance of a man hitting you will do it again the next disagreement because their consciousness isn't there to hold their emotion back when they are upset.

Well done for leaving. You know you are doing the right thing. This is day one of a much happier life without him. You're 27, you have your whole life in front of you. Well done for leaving xx

He's shown you what he can do.
He'll do it again. And again.

Your relationship is over. Leave safely.

I have only read your posts, OP, and the first few responses. Well done for acting swiftly and getting out. You know it makes sense! Good luck with the rest of your life x

Yes. And it will be worse next time.

You are at greatest risk when he realises you are leaving so be sure to have a plan in place/other people with you.

*sorry just saw you have already left. Well done for being so strong!

It doesn't matter if he does it again or not.

For some things, once is too many times.

Being punched and spat at, is one of those things.

If he was a stranger, you'd be going to court in an assault case.

In any case, someone who's violent like that will usually be violent again; often if there's pressure or stress.

If you'd like to have kids (or more kids): babies and small kids create a huge amount of pressure and stress.

Yes. Get out now.

Well done for leaving, do it quickly and quietly, and have lots of support around you in the coming days and weeks. Take everything you need/want so that you don't have to go back.

When he comes crying (and he will) just remember: he assaulted you - punched you and then spat in your face, twice. If you ever go back to him it will happen again.

EMDR therapy is excellent for traumatic situations like you've been through. IFS therapy is a very compassionate therapy that helps in understanding our relationships. I highly recommend both.

Run for the hills and don’t look back

Yes

Yes, it may not be this week, this month or this year but he will do it again and likely it will escalate over time. Get out now.

Thanks God you are leaving!
It will not get better.
You will never regret packing and leaving today.
Just block him on everything and do jot tell him where you are.