What would you do?

[Airyfairy1985]

I'm in a bit of a tricky dating scenario, I met this guy OLD a few weeks ago and in a short space of time we've hung out a lot and both admitted we've formed a really great connection.

We've been in touch a lot, but in the last week his phone has stopped receiving any messages and I've also noticed he's not posted anything on social media (i'm not on social media but he showed me his profile which is public). I've not been checking in a stalkerish way more than he's completely vanished and I was confused and concerned as to what's happened to him.

The only conclusion I can come to is that he's lost/broken his phone and has lost his contacts, he has to have a phone for work and to contact his kids so this is nothing to do with me, I'm also not blocked on whatsapp or anything like that so it seems like this is the likely scenario.

I guess I'm thinking I could just leave it to fate and assume I will never hear from him again, but if he has lost all numbers he won't be able to contact me in any other way, the only thing I could do is email him at this work address but I can't decide if that is total pyschopath behaviour, although due to his work, his email is easily available by a simple Google search.

What would you do?

Yes completely understand where you’re coming from. Ignore the haters x

Is that because they haven’t blocked you though?

Sounds like a good plan.
You can do some SM posts to everyone & some to just your friends- so some are public & some private. I do appreciate that it’s unusual if there’s lots of public posts and suddenly none if that hadn’t happened before.
Definitely sounds like there’s a problem with his phone if no number can get through.
I’m sure some men have separate phones for contacting women if they are in a relationship that they turn off when back home but that must be the minority.

My thoughts are, he's in a relationship ( confirmed by FB status) She has found out about you and/or others and has made him change his number so the old number is now defunct. In which case, just how messy are you prepared to get involved with, as that should be too much?

Yep and that's also one of my theories, like i said end of this week and then done and dusted. I have absolutely no interest in being involved with anyone if they're in a relationship or in any kind of mess with exes etc

oh darn it I want to know now!

I'm not sure what you think the best case answer here is? if it's because he's in prison, would you want to be involved with someone like that? if it's that he's lost his phone but delays contact to you again for weeks... Even if you feel like you clicked well, having some standards how you can and should be treated? Apologies if harsh.

Oh yeah completely agree, I can't really see that it's going to end well or even be able to go anywhere after this potential update anyway. It's all good, I'll be moving on after this week because whatever the outcome is, I've expended enough mental energy on it and it will be time to just chalk it up to experience.

I totally Agree. It's fine to be curious given the circumstances.

I am also finding myself invested in whats going on. OP, please update if you find anything else out.

I'm having a slow afternoon..

Hi, I have been in a similar situation, the only conclusion I came to was that he wanted me to chase him. I just finished reading Access Denied by Tina Ross, this helped me understand so much about toxic people and how to handle them.

no further updates today, facebook messenger just says sent not delivered, no other calls to report! I'm currently watching Unsolved Mysteries on Netflix which maybe is not helping my mindset 😂

Could you ring his work and ask to speak to him? You could always hang up when they go to get him! Sounds like he is in prison. Why else would you have had a missed call? It seems the most logical explanation. I would want to know if I were in your situation. I don’t think it’s stalkerish! It’s natural

If he wanted to he would. He's just not that into you, sorry op.

I have an ex who dropped his phone into a toilet years ago he kept ringing the hospital I worked in to find me 😂

And yes when someone blocks you on WhatsApp their picture dissappears and goes Grey don't know why others are saying otherwise

Because it only does that if their picture is set to be viewable only by their contacts. If you are blocked by someone whose picture is set to be viewable by anyone, it will still show until you zoom in on it when it will disappear. Confirmed by multiple people who have tested it.

@Amberjane41 it's a bit awks re work as he doesn't officially go back to work untl September, by that point I will have lost interest 😂

@H112 Again I do appreciate what you are saying, but it's all the other circumstantial stuff, like if I was on here saying this guy has definitely blocked me on Whatsapp (I think we should leave this point now, I am not blocked and I know this as I have tested it on an Iphone and android, with the different contact settings and whatever people say, either way the profile photo will not be visible, either immediately, or when you zoom in on it), and I have spent the first week of no contact truly believing 'he's just not that into me', although I do hate that saying, but like I said, too many other weird coincidences.

In any case, I'm going to get back onto OLD and will just carry on and let what will be will be.

I'm watching this too - scaring the shit out of me. Keep us posted OP.

Well it must be different over here in Dublin then!

I'd say he as a Mrs

Yup @H112 I think that's the only other reasomable explanation, thing is like I said, at some point, I would assume anyway, he would become active again on social media which might give me some answers but in the meantime, life goes on!!!

He doesn't sound like the kind of person with a second phone for affairs. He sounds like someone who is a bit disorganised and either lost or broke his phone.
Is he still at the place where he used to staying temporarily over the summer?

The only MN thread where I've read every post!!!

I really want to know what happened to this guy! Please update if you ever find out!

Sorry but I have to agree with the majority on here…. Don’t contact him. I had a guy do similar to me, after we had what I thought was a great connection, albeit for a short time. I convinced myself that something awful must have happened, but when I did eventually get hold of him he said “yeah I just wasn’t that interested”, so he was total arsehole that took the cowards way out, but it was completely mortifying for me! Pretty sure that film “he’s just not into you” was made for my younger self 🤣

Thanks, so my theory today, and bear in mind this has been concocted after a couple of glasses of wine 😬 is that he was recalled to prison, for something he didn't want to tell me about, if you're recalled you then have the opportunity to get all the numbers out of your phone, which may explain how he was able to attempt to make contact, he's still complete MIA, anyway this is just today's thought process 🤣

Defo something happened to his phone if it’s not connecting from ANY number, something could have happened to him too because these are not the typical actions of ghosting (the fact his phone is not
reachable from any number). He could have changed the number and not given you the new one on purpose? Personally I would send him a short friendly email to his work email. No you won’t look like a psycho. The absolute worst that can happen is he tells you he’s not interested. You have nothing to loose.