What would you do?

[Airyfairy1985]

I'm in a bit of a tricky dating scenario, I met this guy OLD a few weeks ago and in a short space of time we've hung out a lot and both admitted we've formed a really great connection.

We've been in touch a lot, but in the last week his phone has stopped receiving any messages and I've also noticed he's not posted anything on social media (i'm not on social media but he showed me his profile which is public). I've not been checking in a stalkerish way more than he's completely vanished and I was confused and concerned as to what's happened to him.

The only conclusion I can come to is that he's lost/broken his phone and has lost his contacts, he has to have a phone for work and to contact his kids so this is nothing to do with me, I'm also not blocked on whatsapp or anything like that so it seems like this is the likely scenario.

I guess I'm thinking I could just leave it to fate and assume I will never hear from him again, but if he has lost all numbers he won't be able to contact me in any other way, the only thing I could do is email him at this work address but I can't decide if that is total pyschopath behaviour, although due to his work, his email is easily available by a simple Google search.

What would you do?

Omg didn't expect this 🙈 but wow

You’re a good person to hear him out. It’s potentially good of him to want to make sure you’re not worried. On the other hand, he might turn out to be complete trouble, in which case you’ll know what to do, but at least you’ll feel satisfied you went about things fairly.

Oh wow didn't expect that but I would want to hear him out too tbh, particularly having gone to the effort of trying to get in touch. I knew he hadn't ghosted you by all the very clear signs, at least the mystery is half solved for now!

SEE!!!!!! I was one of the few who agreed with you that I didn’t think he ghosted you!!! I had faith BUT be careful before you go any further or get anymore attached as you don’t really know him and he could come out and tell you any lie an out what happened. You already said he’s messed up is this someone you want in your life?

Echoing everyone...Wow! At least you know what's happened now. I'd definitely hear him out as well, out of curiosity more than anything. Just be sure to look after yourself and steer well clear of any trouble x Thanks for the update x

I 100% would be running a mile. He is in PRISON! Why would you want anything to do with him??

This. Unless the whole prison thing was a big fat mistake and they got the wrong guy (it happens) your man is a big no no, I mean… he lies to you, he’s sorta unemployed, he has mental health problems and now he’s in prison. Seriously OP, get rid of this man asap, I’m sure you can do better. You’re not even in a formal relationship, have been dating him for a short time and already opening threads on MN : “No bueno”.

I'd be running for the hills, you don't know this person, now he's in prison, and you're going to keep in touch? Why are some women's bars set so low, are you that desperate?

Please do not contact him OP nothing good will come of it

OP, please understand that your boundaries are non-existent.

To be in prison during the current climate (of no prison places), he's either done something serious, or is a repeat offender.

To most women this would quite rightly be a complete deal-breaker. No ifs, no buts, just no. So ask yourself why it isn't a dealbreaker for you.

Read all your posts today and I knew he was calling from prison! It's good to know you weren't ghosted and to know he didn't just lose his phone and have no way of contacting you but come on - someone who is in prison isn't a good bet, whatever he did to get there.

I cannot believe how invested in this I am 😳 Shamelessly posting so I don't miss anything more.

OP, I hope this all works out for you the way that you would like and is best for you.

Also, from all the way over here eek the tension is palpable! 🙊🙈

This ^

Who would want to date a psychopath - Ted Bundy? 🤢

Can we please get it in perspective, people go to prison for tax evasion and all sorts of shit these days. I'm in my 40s, well experienced in life, I'm using my discretion to hear him out, nothing wrong with that.

I'm sure you will hear his side of the story.

But will you hear the other one?

Been a tax advisor for 30 years. Never even had a client interviewed under caution let alone actually go to prison. Be realistic.

OP have you got any kids? Would you be happy for your child to be entangled with a person such as this guy?

I could understand you're empathising with the situation but please do not get suckered .

Too late I think. Pathetic really

So, you’ve known him what? 6 weeks? He doesn’t work and he’s now in prison? And lied about all of this? Did I get that correct?

Have you any idea what he's in for? I would definitely want to know that before hearing him out. Let's face it, you barely know the bloke.

I'm all for giving people a second chance, but it really does depend on the crime, doesn't it?

Is tax evasion an example or what he’s actually in for? He won’t have been remanded for tax charges, so either he knew he was facing trial and didn’t tell you, or it’s something quite different (and probably bad).

He wasn't caught up in the riots was he? That would explain his sudden incarceration.

Why would I get the impression that people think is fine if he was put in prison due to white collar crime? Is still a crime isn't it? Am I missing something?

Thanks for the update. Good to know he's ok

Please come back with another update once you've spoken to him after you've found out why he's in prison and what your plans are.

I tell you what else doesn't sit right with me, no offence but he's tried to get hold of you. Who he barely knows. It's not romantic, it sounds like you're about to be used. I'd approach with a very big dose of caution. I get that it feels good to know what it was.