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Original poster

Tent lodger?

176 replies

Feelingtents · 10/08/2024 17:59

I've been dating someone for just shy of 6 months. At first everything was great we got on so well and spent most of our free time together. He said and did all of the right things and we seemed like a great match.

I introduced him to my kids and we have spent days together going to the beach and theme parks.

I've noticed recently that he's started to get more and more short tempered with me.

Fast forward to now. I booked and paid for us to come away camping for a few nights. (not our first time camping together) The first full day here the weather was forecast to be awful. The night before we talked about going sightseeing because of the crappy weather.

The day arrived and I needed to take an important call at 9.30. I had to drive to an area with better signal to take the call.i left him in bed and said bye. When my call finished about an hour later, I called to ask if he'd like me to pick him up some breakfast. He was really angry for waking him up despite having slept for over 12hrs.

When I got back he had a face on. He tried to make breakfast for us both and got irritated that the eggs stuck to the pan, so he hurled the pan out of the tent and stropped back to bed. Where he stayed till after 6pm.

I sat there like a twat reading my book trying to be as quiet as possible. Around 4.30 I went out, leaving him in bed and found a nice place to get something to eat. I'd only been gone a little over 30mins when I got a message from him saying thanks for taking the powerbank with you. After he'd ignored me all day he was now in another strop because I'd took the power bank to charge in the car.

Fast forward to today. We had a lazy morning he didn't get up till after 9 and has had over 12hrs sleep. We went to the beach this afternoon. He went for a dip in the sea and when he got out, he laid down on the blanket. I tried to have a chat with him but he scolded me like a child and said can't I get any peace, you've just woke me up again like you did the other day.

I packed up my stuff and came back to the tent. I've been left him to it on the beach

I'm sick of it being made to feel like I can only talk to him when it's convenient for him.

Am I being an inconsiderate twat and should I have just let him sleep. Or is he being a nob?

OP posts:
bonzaitree · 11/08/2024 12:30

What a pathetic waste of space. Pack up and go home. Once he’s out your car send one text “this isn’t working out so I’m calling it a day” and then block him on everything.

Hurling a frying pan?! Pathetic behaviour. What a child.

GreenIvyy · 11/08/2024 12:30

Honestly dont waste a minute more on this nob. Get rid and live a peaceful life x

Hennypen321 · 11/08/2024 12:32

Feelingtents · 10/08/2024 17:59

I've been dating someone for just shy of 6 months. At first everything was great we got on so well and spent most of our free time together. He said and did all of the right things and we seemed like a great match.

I introduced him to my kids and we have spent days together going to the beach and theme parks.

I've noticed recently that he's started to get more and more short tempered with me.

Fast forward to now. I booked and paid for us to come away camping for a few nights. (not our first time camping together) The first full day here the weather was forecast to be awful. The night before we talked about going sightseeing because of the crappy weather.

The day arrived and I needed to take an important call at 9.30. I had to drive to an area with better signal to take the call.i left him in bed and said bye. When my call finished about an hour later, I called to ask if he'd like me to pick him up some breakfast. He was really angry for waking him up despite having slept for over 12hrs.

When I got back he had a face on. He tried to make breakfast for us both and got irritated that the eggs stuck to the pan, so he hurled the pan out of the tent and stropped back to bed. Where he stayed till after 6pm.

I sat there like a twat reading my book trying to be as quiet as possible. Around 4.30 I went out, leaving him in bed and found a nice place to get something to eat. I'd only been gone a little over 30mins when I got a message from him saying thanks for taking the powerbank with you. After he'd ignored me all day he was now in another strop because I'd took the power bank to charge in the car.

Fast forward to today. We had a lazy morning he didn't get up till after 9 and has had over 12hrs sleep. We went to the beach this afternoon. He went for a dip in the sea and when he got out, he laid down on the blanket. I tried to have a chat with him but he scolded me like a child and said can't I get any peace, you've just woke me up again like you did the other day.

I packed up my stuff and came back to the tent. I've been left him to it on the beach

I'm sick of it being made to feel like I can only talk to him when it's convenient for him.

Am I being an inconsiderate twat and should I have just let him sleep. Or is he being a nob?

Are you home and away from him now?

Kittylickingplate · 11/08/2024 12:33

Jaysus, what am I reading?
WTAF.

catcurl · 11/08/2024 12:35

There are so many nicer men than this out there OP. He sounds horrendous. Life is too short and yours and your children's happiness is too important.

billybear · 11/08/2024 12:41

is he a very old or just lazy why doers he need so much sleep.get rid he is a dead weight lifes too short to be stuck with that tosser good luck.

Broccolibob · 11/08/2024 12:47

I'd pack up (hoping it's your tent), go home and block him so you never have to listen to the grumpy twat again. Would you treat him the same way, even if you had a crap night's sleep? No I bet not.

It appears he's showing his true colours now he's had time to fully insert himself into your life and a holiday is the ideal time to test if you'll try to smooth things over and pander to him even though he's being an arsehole as you feel more trapped than in your home surroundings.

ChampagneLassie · 11/08/2024 12:50

LTB honestly this doesn’t sound any fun.

Wheresthebeach · 11/08/2024 12:55

Throwing pans when angry is a very bad sign. You paid and he’s has behaved appallingly. Dump and run. He’s awful and this will only get worse.

ftp · 11/08/2024 12:58

Without being judgemental, I would say that you are not compatible. With children, you are used to rising early and getting on with things. He is on holiday and looked forward to unwinding and a 12 hour sleep and a long lay in are part of his idea of a holiday. If you love him otherwise then a long talk is needed. My schedule was up at 6 to get me up and ready, then kids to feed, sort and deliver before going to work, post kids until I retired was up early with a 7:20 train to catch, food to make washing machine on, bins out etc etc first. Having been married 54 years, I am now in conflict with my lark of a DH, when my ideal normal is to wake at 9, laze until 11, brunch, dress, before doing anything else.

YourWildAmberSloth · 11/08/2024 13:22

You have been together 6 months. You have children. He is moody, short-tempered and aggressive. Why are you still with him and why would you want inflict someone like this on your children? Raise the bar.

Herculesthescot · 11/08/2024 13:36

Dump him, life is too short to spend with useless dicks like this. You are worth much better than this!

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/08/2024 13:41

Are your children with you?

WhereYouLeftIt · 11/08/2024 13:41

So, six months in and his mask is slipping. The inconsiderate arse in the tent is who he really is.

Ditch, ditch, ditch.

The person you thought he was , was in reality just a carefully crafted illusion, created to snare you. But he can't maintain the illusion indefinitely and The Real Him is breaking through.

Milybar · 11/08/2024 13:43

Get rid. It will only get worse. Sounds horrible

Ohnobackagain · 11/08/2024 13:51

@Feelingtents never mind everything else, the fact he threw the pan out would have been enough for me to throw him out. I’d leave him on the beach, pack up and drive home. The price of a new blanket is a small sacrifice to get rid of that whingeing ingrate.

Ohnobackagain · 11/08/2024 13:52

My apologies for being so blunt @Feelingtents I’m tetchy in the heat 🤯🙁

iwfja · 11/08/2024 14:54

In the bin.

Whatbloodysummer · 11/08/2024 15:09

He is an absolute knob, with big jangly feckkin bells on !!

He thinks it's acceptable to shout at you, to expect you to be a feckking mind reader, tell you it's not ok for you to speak to him and to ignore you for the entire feckking day, and you're asking if that's ok ??????

Of course it's bloody well NOT OK !!!

Would YOU do the same to him ? Or to anyone ? ever ?

I know I bloody well wouldn't ! And I'm sure you wouldn't either !

You know that this is just the beginning, don't you ?
He's revealing his true self now that he feels he has his feet under the table and that you are now 'invested' in a 'relationship' with him, so he feels able to be his more authentic self with you.

He's deliberately waited until you're not at home to do it too ! because he knows it'll seem a 'overreaction' on your part to simply leave him there. This means you're MUCH more likely to accept his shitty behaviour (and no doubt the reluctant and insincere 'apology' he'll trot out at some point, with lots of excuses like 'I was just very tired, and you knew that!' or 'You just wouldn't let it go, so I got annoyed' i.e he'll excuse it by it somehow explaining how it was allYOUR fault !!!!

He's shown you who he is. BELIEVE HIM.

This is the start, please, please don't stay with him, because it'll get MUCH worse, bit by bit, day by day, until you and your DC are tip-toeing around your own damn house for fear of 'annoying' him or 'setting him off'.

You and your DC are worth SO much MORE !

CharlotteLucas3 · 11/08/2024 15:22

It’s a bit worrying that you’d have to ask. What if you met a man who was ten percent as horrible? Would that be ok? I say this as someone who was with someone similar for seven years! Learn about abuse and narcissism now so you don’t waste years of your life.

Maddy70 · 11/08/2024 15:44

Hes a toddler
Run. For the hills

colouredpencils · 11/08/2024 21:31

Is there no new yet?

LozzaChops101 · 21/08/2024 10:49

OP I hope you’re ok!

TerracottaWorrier · 21/08/2024 11:16

ftp · 11/08/2024 12:58

Without being judgemental, I would say that you are not compatible. With children, you are used to rising early and getting on with things. He is on holiday and looked forward to unwinding and a 12 hour sleep and a long lay in are part of his idea of a holiday. If you love him otherwise then a long talk is needed. My schedule was up at 6 to get me up and ready, then kids to feed, sort and deliver before going to work, post kids until I retired was up early with a 7:20 train to catch, food to make washing machine on, bins out etc etc first. Having been married 54 years, I am now in conflict with my lark of a DH, when my ideal normal is to wake at 9, laze until 11, brunch, dress, before doing anything else.

This is nonsense. Whatever his expectations of a holiday, if he can't communicate them in a reasonable and conflict free way, he's a dick.

OP, you don't ever have to tolerate people speaking to you like this. I know it feels surprising because you do not speak to people like this and assume the degree of vitriol must be in response to your behaviour being extremely unacceptable, but it's not. There's never a reason to behave the way he is and you need to cut him off now so that he doesn't hurt you more and erode your sense of self.

Bananalanacake · 21/08/2024 11:39

This all happened 10 days ago so I hope she's shot of the lazy twat by now.
I hope that after only 6 months they don't live together so he is easier to get rid of.