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Original poster

Tent lodger?

176 replies

Feelingtents · 10/08/2024 17:59

I've been dating someone for just shy of 6 months. At first everything was great we got on so well and spent most of our free time together. He said and did all of the right things and we seemed like a great match.

I introduced him to my kids and we have spent days together going to the beach and theme parks.

I've noticed recently that he's started to get more and more short tempered with me.

Fast forward to now. I booked and paid for us to come away camping for a few nights. (not our first time camping together) The first full day here the weather was forecast to be awful. The night before we talked about going sightseeing because of the crappy weather.

The day arrived and I needed to take an important call at 9.30. I had to drive to an area with better signal to take the call.i left him in bed and said bye. When my call finished about an hour later, I called to ask if he'd like me to pick him up some breakfast. He was really angry for waking him up despite having slept for over 12hrs.

When I got back he had a face on. He tried to make breakfast for us both and got irritated that the eggs stuck to the pan, so he hurled the pan out of the tent and stropped back to bed. Where he stayed till after 6pm.

I sat there like a twat reading my book trying to be as quiet as possible. Around 4.30 I went out, leaving him in bed and found a nice place to get something to eat. I'd only been gone a little over 30mins when I got a message from him saying thanks for taking the powerbank with you. After he'd ignored me all day he was now in another strop because I'd took the power bank to charge in the car.

Fast forward to today. We had a lazy morning he didn't get up till after 9 and has had over 12hrs sleep. We went to the beach this afternoon. He went for a dip in the sea and when he got out, he laid down on the blanket. I tried to have a chat with him but he scolded me like a child and said can't I get any peace, you've just woke me up again like you did the other day.

I packed up my stuff and came back to the tent. I've been left him to it on the beach

I'm sick of it being made to feel like I can only talk to him when it's convenient for him.

Am I being an inconsiderate twat and should I have just let him sleep. Or is he being a nob?

OP posts:
PotatoPie111 · 11/08/2024 09:09

Go home? Whose tent/car is it. I’d leave him at a train station if it’s your stuff.

This is why you don’t introduce men to your children, he is not a good person. He spent all day sulking in a tent, adults do not act like this!

PeriIsKickingMyButt · 11/08/2024 09:09

I'm confused as to why you haven't dumped the loser already??

Hennypen321 · 11/08/2024 09:10

Massive red flags

Avatartar · 11/08/2024 09:15

If he can sleep for 12 hours in a tent - there’s no chance of a relationship! As for his behaviour - can’t believe you need to ask - just dump him

liverpoolgal82 · 11/08/2024 09:20

In the kindest possible way - this is why you shouldn’t introduce children to a potential for at least 12-18 months or longer, when you know them much better and all positives and negatives are out on show as most negatives don’t stay hidden that long.
Tell him you don’t require another child and block him. Please don’t put up with this , he’ll do it again and again and again!

Thursdaygirl · 11/08/2024 09:21

He sounds awful

CatherineofAmazon · 11/08/2024 09:24

Don’t let him treat you like an inconvenience. Dump him.

Over40Overdating · 11/08/2024 09:31

Ooof @Feelingtents . What an utter twat he is.

If you haven’t already left the sulky oaf to it, be prepared for a whiny blame game when you get back and tell him to sling his hook.

This is the real him, the rest was the temporary act. You deserve better.

FedUpMumof10YO · 11/08/2024 09:33

You introduced your kids to this car crash and you've only been dating 6 months ?!

MapleTreeValley · 11/08/2024 09:37

How dare he spoil the nice break you booked and paid for by behaving like this? I can't believe he spent the entire day in bed until 6pm when you had planned to go sight seeing together! And sent you nasty messages too. What a dick. Time to cut your losses OP.

Princessfluffy · 11/08/2024 09:38

Do you really need to ask OP?
Get rid.

Ilovelurchers · 11/08/2024 09:42

penguinonmybag · 11/08/2024 09:05

This is why you don't introduce a new partner to your kids for at least a couple of years......

Why? What has he done to her kids?

I am amazed that, instead of sympathising with this woman for her horrible experience ay the hands of this man, a number of posters desperately feel they need to find something to judge and berate her for.

There is literally no evidence in her posts that this man has harmed or upset her children in any way. Yes he is a shit boyfriend, and yes most people would agree she should dump him, but there is literally not a single shred of evidence in her posts to suggest meeting him has in any way damaged her children.

It's just another thing to make women feel bad and ashamed about though, isn't it?

Bestfootforward11 · 11/08/2024 09:42

This is really not ok, OP. If he behaves like this after 6 months, imagine what any future with him will be like? I do think you need to end it. And you need to be ready for him apologising at some point, saying it won’t happen again blah blah. It will. This is deliberate nasty behaviour. You deserve much better.

SamW98 · 11/08/2024 09:43

liverpoolgal82 · 11/08/2024 09:20

In the kindest possible way - this is why you shouldn’t introduce children to a potential for at least 12-18 months or longer, when you know them much better and all positives and negatives are out on show as most negatives don’t stay hidden that long.
Tell him you don’t require another child and block him. Please don’t put up with this , he’ll do it again and again and again!

Agree with this. By the OP it seems he’s not just been introduced, he’s already started being integrated into their lives.

It’s nit a criticism OP as we live and learn but take this as a lesson to hold back from bringing new men into your kids lives for quite a bit longer going forward.

ChaToilLeam · 11/08/2024 09:44

Horrible man, dump him forthwith!

You’re off your head introducing him to your kids after only 6 months, that’s not long enough to know someone.

Noshowlomo · 11/08/2024 09:46

SamW98 · 10/08/2024 18:10

So he couldn’t keep the Mr Perfect act up any longer and his true colours are shining through?

Why on earth would you tolerate being treated and spoken to like that by a man you’ve only known a few months? Is this really someone you want integrated into your kids lives?

Pack up the tent, go home and bin the twat

This! 6 months is all it’s taken for the real him to sho me up. What a horrible bitter man

penguinonmybag · 11/08/2024 09:47

Ilovelurchers · 11/08/2024 09:42

Why? What has he done to her kids?

I am amazed that, instead of sympathising with this woman for her horrible experience ay the hands of this man, a number of posters desperately feel they need to find something to judge and berate her for.

There is literally no evidence in her posts that this man has harmed or upset her children in any way. Yes he is a shit boyfriend, and yes most people would agree she should dump him, but there is literally not a single shred of evidence in her posts to suggest meeting him has in any way damaged her children.

It's just another thing to make women feel bad and ashamed about though, isn't it?

Show quote history

If she's got any sense she'll dump him, so she's introduced the kids to a short term partner. Then maybe another.....and another.....they really should only have to meet someone who is going to be permanent.

TooMuchRedMaybe · 11/08/2024 09:54

It’s clear that you don’t have healthy boundaries. If you did he would be long gone. If you don’t want to leave him for you, then at least do it for your kids. This sort of man would ruin their childhood and it will permanently damage the relationship they have with you and their future relationships with future partners. Your job is to model healthy relationships, this isn’t it.

Changedname23 · 11/08/2024 09:56

Agree with everyone else. Run the other way he is an arsehole

Towerofsong · 11/08/2024 09:58

Ilovelurchers · 11/08/2024 09:42

Why? What has he done to her kids?

I am amazed that, instead of sympathising with this woman for her horrible experience ay the hands of this man, a number of posters desperately feel they need to find something to judge and berate her for.

There is literally no evidence in her posts that this man has harmed or upset her children in any way. Yes he is a shit boyfriend, and yes most people would agree she should dump him, but there is literally not a single shred of evidence in her posts to suggest meeting him has in any way damaged her children.

It's just another thing to make women feel bad and ashamed about though, isn't it?

Show quote history

Exactly

It's only through hard earned life experience that people learn not to introduce people to their kids for a very long time.

It's one thing to advise and give the benefit of that life experience. Another thing to berate someone for not having yet had that life experience.

Hopefully the camping trip is now over or almost over and OP has ejected him from her life.

pictoosh · 11/08/2024 10:00

This one is easy. Absolute nob.

Bad-tempered, lazy, intolerant, rude, tantrums and sulking. You are walking on eggshells already. A good time made into a misery fest. This is what he is like. This is how he will be. Red flags everywhere.

Be mighty glad you're only six months in.

rainbowstardrops · 11/08/2024 10:01

You e been together less than six months and he's already treating you like this? Nah. Chuck this one back.

pictoosh · 11/08/2024 10:03

Look him the eye, tell him he's an insufferable arsehole, then go home.
Finito.

Bimblesalong · 11/08/2024 10:04

Please tell me you’re either packing up and going home (to kick him out) or you’ve dropped him at the nearest railway station / in the sea.

Lotsofsnacks · 11/08/2024 10:07

Feelingtents · 10/08/2024 17:59

I've been dating someone for just shy of 6 months. At first everything was great we got on so well and spent most of our free time together. He said and did all of the right things and we seemed like a great match.

I introduced him to my kids and we have spent days together going to the beach and theme parks.

I've noticed recently that he's started to get more and more short tempered with me.

Fast forward to now. I booked and paid for us to come away camping for a few nights. (not our first time camping together) The first full day here the weather was forecast to be awful. The night before we talked about going sightseeing because of the crappy weather.

The day arrived and I needed to take an important call at 9.30. I had to drive to an area with better signal to take the call.i left him in bed and said bye. When my call finished about an hour later, I called to ask if he'd like me to pick him up some breakfast. He was really angry for waking him up despite having slept for over 12hrs.

When I got back he had a face on. He tried to make breakfast for us both and got irritated that the eggs stuck to the pan, so he hurled the pan out of the tent and stropped back to bed. Where he stayed till after 6pm.

I sat there like a twat reading my book trying to be as quiet as possible. Around 4.30 I went out, leaving him in bed and found a nice place to get something to eat. I'd only been gone a little over 30mins when I got a message from him saying thanks for taking the powerbank with you. After he'd ignored me all day he was now in another strop because I'd took the power bank to charge in the car.

Fast forward to today. We had a lazy morning he didn't get up till after 9 and has had over 12hrs sleep. We went to the beach this afternoon. He went for a dip in the sea and when he got out, he laid down on the blanket. I tried to have a chat with him but he scolded me like a child and said can't I get any peace, you've just woke me up again like you did the other day.

I packed up my stuff and came back to the tent. I've been left him to it on the beach

I'm sick of it being made to feel like I can only talk to him when it's convenient for him.

Am I being an inconsiderate twat and should I have just let him sleep. Or is he being a nob?

Why are you even asking?!! He’s a grade A knob. What a holiday for you eh, him just sleeping all day, and you creeping around. Red flag for him throwing the pan in anger, you’re seeing his true colours and it’s not even been six months! Please get rid, and under six months is too soon to meet DC. You can do so much better.