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Original poster

Stingy restaurant behaviour has given me the ick

651 replies

HazelSchmazel · 04/08/2024 17:43

This afternoon, I went on a second date with a guy I met on Tinder. Wasn't too sure after the first date, but I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

We had a nice meal and the bill was in the region of £50. When it was time to pay, I placed £30 (cash) in the middle of the table on the basis of £25 for my share and a £5 tip (our shares of food and drink were pretty much 50/50). He then proffered my £30 to the waiter, together with his credit card and said 'put £20 on my card'. So the poor waiting staff get no tip and my £5 effectively goes into his pocket!!! Uuuurgh - instant ick!

I should have said something, but I just wanted to get the fuck away from the knuckle dragger asap! Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

Now snuggled up with my cat, a bar of chocolate and am planning a Netflix binge, together with a future life of celibacy. Bliss!

Anyone else with a story of financially induced ick?

OP posts:
Original poster
HazelSchmazel · 04/08/2024 19:59

Comedycook · 04/08/2024 19:58

Swoon

Show quote history

Yes - he really knew how to sweep a girl off her feet

OP posts:
AdviceNeeded2024 · 04/08/2024 20:00

doodlejump1980 · 04/08/2024 17:49

Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

this is the best sentence I have ever read on mumsnet.

😂😂 yes made me chuckle!!

ttcat37 · 04/08/2024 20:01

S0livagant · 04/08/2024 18:16

I don't and most of the other people in my circle on a low wage don't. I find it odd to give pocket money to another adult who gets paid the same as I do.

Show quote history

My starting point is if the waiting staff are bringing you a menu, your food and your bill, it’s fair to leave a tip. The expectation isn’t so great when you’re ordering or paying at a till, and it’s greater when fine dining (some places will add a tip to your bill). I factor this in when deciding where to eat.

AdviceNeeded2024 · 04/08/2024 20:01

Even if I go out with friends we discuss how to pay the bill or if we are leaving a tip (we usually split it) so for him to assume you were covering by an extra tenner is a bit out of order!

Bollindger · 04/08/2024 20:02

Maybe you should just send him a link to this thread.....lol

oakleaffy · 04/08/2024 20:03

He really was cheeky!

I don't like the tipping thing {But do leave them} Employers should pay their staff decent wages, and one wonders if the tips actually go to the staff, not the owner of the restaurant.

LondonJax · 04/08/2024 20:03

BeachParty · 04/08/2024 19:56

This.
You may tip, but you don't have to in the UK.
It's completely unnecessary.
Maybe he doesn't tip or didn't think of it? So what if not.
He may have been going to pay on the card, so was a cash and card combo when you paid notes.
YABU

Show quote history

But they were going halves. And he's admitted, in his last text, that they were 'compatible' because they had the same or similar meal. So he knew it was likely to be the same amount each.

Half of £50 is not £20.

So, if someone put £30 on the table for a £50 bill you would assume they needed change if you, personally, don't tip surely? Not that they were paying £5 extra because they were overcome by your scintillating personality...

BeautyPageantDropout · 04/08/2024 20:04

don't blame you, OP, that would be an absolute ick inducer for me too.

cannot stand stingy fuckers.

Theoldlife · 04/08/2024 20:05

whichwayisup · 04/08/2024 19:14

Yes it is, worked in hospitality for years over 20 years ago now and it was the real exception who didn't tip and usually only because they didn't get great service for whatever reason. It was the very very odd person who didn't leave something.

My nieces/nephews/kids all work in hospitality and they say the same thing.

You might convince yourself that no one tips just like you don't but it's not true.

Show quote history

It’s entirely true in my experience.

I can’t remember the last time I even saw anyone tip in a restaurant, never mind was with someone who did.

I have a cousin who does, she makes a big Hyacinth Bucket show of it, but no one else.

Most of my friends earn MW- no one tips them as part time dinner ladies or whatever. Why would they give extra money to someone they know is earning the same as them?

And more to the point why would waiting staff expect to be given extra money because they earn their MW in a cafe rather than cleaning toilets or behind a till in Asda. Do you tip the shelf stackers in Tesco? Or the guy behind the counter when you buy petrol?

DoubleTime · 04/08/2024 20:06

Bollindger · 04/08/2024 20:02

Maybe you should just send him a link to this thread.....lol

Edited

Now there's a great idea........

Mary46 · 04/08/2024 20:07

Thats very scabby. Friend did that before we all put our cash in plus tip so she left the bare amount. I dont do meals since this just coffee with her..

Secretroses · 04/08/2024 20:08

I have to say, £5 tip for a £25 tab feels over generous to me. Usually tips would be 10-12.5% not 20% so I would have assumed that you only had 3x £10 now and no fiver and had been waiting for change to leave some as a tip.

However, that does not explain his decision to only pay £20... I would expect him to have put £27.50 on his card leaving £2.50 change back for you...

Theoldlife · 04/08/2024 20:08

oakleaffy · 04/08/2024 20:03

He really was cheeky!

I don't like the tipping thing {But do leave them} Employers should pay their staff decent wages, and one wonders if the tips actually go to the staff, not the owner of the restaurant.

.

IvanaFooq · 04/08/2024 20:09

Is this a dating thread or to discuss tipping?! OP you do right to just ghost this fella.

S0livagant · 04/08/2024 20:10

ttcat37 · 04/08/2024 20:01

My starting point is if the waiting staff are bringing you a menu, your food and your bill, it’s fair to leave a tip. The expectation isn’t so great when you’re ordering or paying at a till, and it’s greater when fine dining (some places will add a tip to your bill). I factor this in when deciding where to eat.

Show quote history

I disagree. Tip if you want to but staff are paid already. Many people in jobs that never get tipped are paid mw or barely above it and these people work just as hard. I don't eat in expensive places, it's typically a few times a year for an occasion and at a pub.

PaminaMozart · 04/08/2024 20:10

I'm a bit confused by this thread. Are we talking about the service charge or an additional tip?

Most of the restaurants I go to automatically add 12.5%, so I wouldn't normally add an additional tip - unless service had been exceptional.

IvanaFooq · 04/08/2024 20:12

I'm a bit confused by this thread. Are we talking about the service charge or an additional tip?

Heres a clue, its a thread about dating, not the mechanics of tipping. OP was robbed of a whole 5 english pounds.

DreamTheMoors · 04/08/2024 20:14

S0livagant · 04/08/2024 17:47

Are you in the UK? He might not have known you wanted to tip, it's not expected. He may have planned to buy you a drink on the next date to even it up.

Edited

“He may have…” is doing an awful lot of heavy lifting here.

S0livagant · 04/08/2024 20:16

Theoldlife · 04/08/2024 20:05

It’s entirely true in my experience.

I can’t remember the last time I even saw anyone tip in a restaurant, never mind was with someone who did.

I have a cousin who does, she makes a big Hyacinth Bucket show of it, but no one else.

Most of my friends earn MW- no one tips them as part time dinner ladies or whatever. Why would they give extra money to someone they know is earning the same as them?

And more to the point why would waiting staff expect to be given extra money because they earn their MW in a cafe rather than cleaning toilets or behind a till in Asda. Do you tip the shelf stackers in Tesco? Or the guy behind the counter when you buy petrol?

Show quote history

Agreed. I've never been tipped as a farm hand or care worker or supermarket or factory worker.

IncompleteSenten · 04/08/2024 20:16

HazelSchmazel · 04/08/2024 19:57

Thanks - I really like this

Show quote history

I think that's a really good message. Sometimes people need telling they've taken the piss a bit.

HeySummerWhereAreYou · 04/08/2024 20:16

HazelSchmazel · 04/08/2024 17:43

This afternoon, I went on a second date with a guy I met on Tinder. Wasn't too sure after the first date, but I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

We had a nice meal and the bill was in the region of £50. When it was time to pay, I placed £30 (cash) in the middle of the table on the basis of £25 for my share and a £5 tip (our shares of food and drink were pretty much 50/50). He then proffered my £30 to the waiter, together with his credit card and said 'put £20 on my card'. So the poor waiting staff get no tip and my £5 effectively goes into his pocket!!! Uuuurgh - instant ick!

I should have said something, but I just wanted to get the fuck away from the knuckle dragger asap! Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

Now snuggled up with my cat, a bar of chocolate and am planning a Netflix binge, together with a future life of celibacy. Bliss!

Anyone else with a story of financially induced ick?

I should have said something, but I just wanted to get the fuck away from the knuckle dragger asap! Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

😆

Yep, you're well rid @HazelSchmazel Let this one stay in the bin!

Apologies for quoting the entire OP everyone! Blush Did it accidently and can't undo it!

HumerousHumous · 04/08/2024 20:17

Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.
This thread should go in MN Classics just for this line alone.

DurhamDurham · 04/08/2024 20:17

Are you in the UK? He might not have known you wanted to tip, it's not expected

Rubbish! I've never been for a meal in a restaurant in the UK and not left some part of a tip. It's the norm within my family, friends and work colleagues.

Snoopdoggyd · 04/08/2024 20:17

I've just asked the man I'm dating what he'd do in this scenario.

He looked really confused. Started doing maths in his head, started muttering about paying £23 (why?!), then asking why you'd put £30 down rather then £25... And he'd also then pay £25 plus the tip.

He's neither tight nor thick.

It wouldn't occur to him op to think you'd paid your half plus a fiver tip because he would never pay a ten pound tip on a £50 meal.

So I reckon your fella was confused and you should have said. Either that or tight arse

XiCi · 04/08/2024 20:21

S0livagant · 04/08/2024 17:47

Are you in the UK? He might not have known you wanted to tip, it's not expected. He may have planned to buy you a drink on the next date to even it up.

Edited

It is expected in the UK. I don't know anyone that doesn't leave a tip in a restaurant. Absolute cheek of him OP. Hope you've blocked him