Stingy restaurant behaviour has given me the ick

[HazelSchmazel]

This afternoon, I went on a second date with a guy I met on Tinder. Wasn't too sure after the first date, but I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

We had a nice meal and the bill was in the region of £50. When it was time to pay, I placed £30 (cash) in the middle of the table on the basis of £25 for my share and a £5 tip (our shares of food and drink were pretty much 50/50). He then proffered my £30 to the waiter, together with his credit card and said 'put £20 on my card'. So the poor waiting staff get no tip and my £5 effectively goes into his pocket!!! Uuuurgh - instant ick!

I should have said something, but I just wanted to get the fuck away from the knuckle dragger asap! Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

Now snuggled up with my cat, a bar of chocolate and am planning a Netflix binge, together with a future life of celibacy. Bliss!

Anyone else with a story of financially induced ick?

Tipping is for when the service and experience is exceptional. I wouldn't experience awful service or food cooked badly and still blindly tip for the privilege of being there.

"....thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut. ...." Just this - soooooo funny. OP, you did the right thing, tight twat.

@S0livagant is giving me a huge ick

😂😂

Me too😊

I have had many experiences with dating sites. I am now in a 3.5 year permanent Tinder relationship , with my soulmate. However after a 2nd lunch date with another candidate He paid and later walking about I offered half. I had to go to an ATM and he took it ! I was pretty poor at the time, he was not and he had selected the venue. The relationship continued for a year mainly due to Covid because I moved in . Afterer selling his vintage car for £7000 we had a take away and he demanded half I, I was on furlough and benefits. But the worst thing was he was a mean tipper. I have been a waitress and travelled extensively before my financial demise and if service has not been added or I have virtually served myself pubs etc I always tip cash did you check. Otherwise yes but I know so many people who don’t tip, bad service no ,anything else at least 10%if you go to the USA they demand minimum 15. Once mean always mean just saying

It’s not expected to tip in the UK?!

Since when?

This. And driven myself home afterwards leaving the takeaway boxes out for him to dispose of😂

Why are you laughing? It's just not funny and he treated you appallingly. I hope he's an ex..

Ick? That is beyond ick!

Sorry you had to deal with that - but you made my day. I laughed so hard! I’m single but I’ve had plenty of ick-inducing horror stories. Give me Netflix, chocolate, good mates and a dog any day!!

I dated a bloke (once) that literally looked like he had raided his piggy bank before he came out. Poured all the shrapnel onto the table. I just swept it all into my bag and paid by card. So embarrassing…..then he nearly killed me driving home but that another story 🤣

I once went on a lunch date with a friend who had paid for our previous lunch together on business expenses. It wasn’t a business lunch! As a courtesy, I offered to pay for both our lunches to repay the favour. He then took the receipt that I’d left on the table, even saying he’d put it through his expenses though I’d paid. ! He went so far down in my estimation I never saw him again.

I dated someone like that. First date and I met him in a pub. He asked me what I wanted to drink and then moaned that I wanted that drink. We had just agreed to do rounds. I bought the next round and the 2 after that. From then on he always let me buy everything. He would literally sit in a pub ,Club or restaurant without a drink ,or meal so that someone else would buy for him. We only went out if I paid. He'd forget his wallet , be low on cash that week etc. After giving him the benefit of the doubt at first because I couldn't believe someone could really be that tight I realised he wouldn't change. He'd ask me for money to go to the bar then pocket the change and pretend 2 drinks cost £20. This was the 90s. I really liked him and he played on that. Anyway in 12 months he bought me 1 drink , 1 portion of chips and curry sauce( this was about 3 months into the relationship and he moaned for weeks) a second hand doll and a raggedy wollen hand knitted thing that looked like it came from a jumble sale. If I ever said anything about him paying he'd say I only wanted him for money and storm off usually taking my money with him. He was very light fingered with my stuff too. 2 necklaces and a watch got 'lost' and he used to bring food for himself to my home and sit and eat it never offering any to me and then eat what I'd made. Nothing was ever good enough for him even though it was all free. He'd tell me his mum said I wasn't feeding him properly. That's what he wanted really a ' mummy' to look after him. One of the best things I ever did was tell I'm to p off. He kept trying to win me back by writing poems which were actually song lyrics . He wasn't on drugs or anything had his own home and car and a job. One of the last straws was when I found him looking for my holiday pay to see how much I'd got.

WTF?

If a man is stingy with cash, you can almost guarantee that he's selfish in bed.

I couldn't agree more. Meanness with money is just a symptom of an overall lack of generosity of spirit, which manifests itself in overall selfishness.

So he paid for dinner and didn't ask you to contribute and you didn't offer. then you did offer and he agreed. What's the problem? Why did you offer if you didn't mean it?
Then you agreed to a takeaway but expected him to pay for all of it. Why didn't you say you couldn't afford it?

I did similar when I was in my 20's. Long time ago!

I agree!

I actually feel sorry for the guy and think he's better off without being so judgemental when you didn't say you were leaving a tip...he's not a mindreader and not everyone tips!
Absolutely nothing wrong in going 50/50 but if you say there saying nothing and then put all this acorn on him afterwards then that's not fair

Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

Reading in bed with DH next to me, he has just asked where the pig is hiding as I snort/laughed so loud at this sentence 🤣🤣

Yep, I once went on a date where the guy went to the bar, paid with £10, got change of £10, then lied to the bar staff and said he’d given them £20 and made such a fuss, they gave him it - that was the end of the date for me! I couldn’t get away from him quick enough. Didn’t help that he then tried to grope me down below outside the pub as I left - I was fairly terrified and didn’t breathe till I got away from him.

But £30/£20 is not a 50/50 split. What it sounds like is he jumped at the chance of saving himself £5 because she left a tip on top of her share. That's pretty shitty behaviour

I think it’s an overreaction to be honest. Even if he’s British, perhaps he’s spent time abroad where people aren’t as uptight about precise 50/50 bill splits as most Brits are. I’d probably always leave a tip for dinner tbh though, unless the meal/service was really poor. But as others have said, perhaps he was of the mentality of “oh you’ve put down £30, so £20 left to pay, let’s just get this bill paid and leave” - especially if he didn’t have cash on him. And then might have paid for the next meal wholly himself.