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Original poster

Stingy restaurant behaviour has given me the ick

651 replies

HazelSchmazel · 04/08/2024 17:43

This afternoon, I went on a second date with a guy I met on Tinder. Wasn't too sure after the first date, but I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

We had a nice meal and the bill was in the region of £50. When it was time to pay, I placed £30 (cash) in the middle of the table on the basis of £25 for my share and a £5 tip (our shares of food and drink were pretty much 50/50). He then proffered my £30 to the waiter, together with his credit card and said 'put £20 on my card'. So the poor waiting staff get no tip and my £5 effectively goes into his pocket!!! Uuuurgh - instant ick!

I should have said something, but I just wanted to get the fuck away from the knuckle dragger asap! Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

Now snuggled up with my cat, a bar of chocolate and am planning a Netflix binge, together with a future life of celibacy. Bliss!

Anyone else with a story of financially induced ick?

OP posts:
KreedKafer · 05/08/2024 18:01

S0livagant · 04/08/2024 18:23

Fair enough.

Something that would give me the ick would be ignoring a homeless person if they could afford to offer to buy them something to eat or drink.

Show quote history

Who says that wouldn't also give the OP, or anyone else here, the ick as well?!

Tipping in restaurants and generosity towards homeless people aren't mutually exclusive.

Original poster
HazelSchmazel · 05/08/2024 18:04

GlitteryRainbow · 05/08/2024 17:59

Not sure if this is financial but I guess so. Seeing a new bloke, I offer to collect him from work so he doesn’t have to go by bus. Go back to his. He cooks himself dinner and doesn’t offer me anything. I’m staying over so have no dinner. He’s lucky I didn’t eat him in my sleep 🤣

No!!!! He actually ate his dinner in front of you, while you had nothing? What a vile individual.

OP posts:
Pinkypinkyplonk · 05/08/2024 18:05

HazelSchmazel · 05/08/2024 18:04

No!!!! He actually ate his dinner in front of you, while you had nothing? What a vile individual.

Show quote history

Omg!

SamW98 · 05/08/2024 18:09

GlitteryRainbow · 05/08/2024 17:59

Not sure if this is financial but I guess so. Seeing a new bloke, I offer to collect him from work so he doesn’t have to go by bus. Go back to his. He cooks himself dinner and doesn’t offer me anything. I’m staying over so have no dinner. He’s lucky I didn’t eat him in my sleep 🤣

Fuck that! I’d have ordered a Deliveroo and eaten it in front of him

Justthistime1234 · 05/08/2024 18:13

This is literally my favourite post ever on MN!! The thunderclap - I sometimes snigger but this time I actually laughed - thank you OP ❤️

Skodacool · 05/08/2024 18:14

I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut
LMAO!

BloodyHellKenAgain · 05/08/2024 18:14

I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

😂😂😂

CrazyChefDoDoDoDoDoDo · 05/08/2024 18:15

GlitteryRainbow · 05/08/2024 17:59

Not sure if this is financial but I guess so. Seeing a new bloke, I offer to collect him from work so he doesn’t have to go by bus. Go back to his. He cooks himself dinner and doesn’t offer me anything. I’m staying over so have no dinner. He’s lucky I didn’t eat him in my sleep 🤣

This is awful! What stopped you from saying something at the time? Or was it just being flabbergasted at his selfishness.

When I met my DH he was unemployed and skint. We met up for lunch because I needed to borrow something from him. I ate but he didn't because he literally couldn't afford to. But had driven to meet me on my lunch break to lend me something. He had no expectations of me paying, but he still wanted to see me and help me out. That didn't give me the ick. It made me realise seeing me and helping me was more important to him than his pride. Obviously I've never mentioned it since because he's probably still a bit embarrassed. And now employed so all's well that ends well!

babbi · 05/08/2024 18:15

CautionaryTaleGirl · 04/08/2024 17:54

I agree.

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Yip me too … fabulous statement 🙌🙌🙌

MounjaroUser · 05/08/2024 18:15

SamW98 · 05/08/2024 18:09

Fuck that! I’d have ordered a Deliveroo and eaten it in front of him

Show quote history

I wouldn't have stayed, once he'd put his dinner out.

Ifinkyourefreaky · 05/08/2024 18:17

S0livagant · 04/08/2024 17:47

Are you in the UK? He might not have known you wanted to tip, it's not expected. He may have planned to buy you a drink on the next date to even it up.

Edited

Sorry, but just no!

BlueFlowers5 · 05/08/2024 18:20

Someone said he may not have known about tops?
Where has he been living?

SunshineAndFizz · 05/08/2024 18:26

S0livagant · 04/08/2024 17:47

Are you in the UK? He might not have known you wanted to tip, it's not expected. He may have planned to buy you a drink on the next date to even it up.

Edited

Mate, come on.

TheEnglishIrishman · 05/08/2024 18:28

HazelSchmazel · 04/08/2024 17:43

This afternoon, I went on a second date with a guy I met on Tinder. Wasn't too sure after the first date, but I thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

We had a nice meal and the bill was in the region of £50. When it was time to pay, I placed £30 (cash) in the middle of the table on the basis of £25 for my share and a £5 tip (our shares of food and drink were pretty much 50/50). He then proffered my £30 to the waiter, together with his credit card and said 'put £20 on my card'. So the poor waiting staff get no tip and my £5 effectively goes into his pocket!!! Uuuurgh - instant ick!

I should have said something, but I just wanted to get the fuck away from the knuckle dragger asap! Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

Now snuggled up with my cat, a bar of chocolate and am planning a Netflix binge, together with a future life of celibacy. Bliss!

Anyone else with a story of financially induced ick?

What an unbelievable thing to do. Unfortunately there are people that just don't think in a considerate way.
Move on, sounds like a free loader.

ElizaJ74 · 05/08/2024 18:38

I should have said something, but I just wanted to get the fuck away from the knuckle dragger asap! Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

Omg! The cheeky fkr!
This however has cheered me up immensely 😂

AngryBird6122 · 05/08/2024 18:40

MounjaroUser · 05/08/2024 18:15

I wouldn't have stayed, once he'd put his dinner out.

Show quote history

Yeah, what?!

@GlitteryRainbow how comes you ended up staying over still? Don't tell me you slept with him after that 😬

Redwineandcheeseplease01 · 05/08/2024 18:41

PeriIsKickingMyButt · 04/08/2024 18:01

I went on a coffee date once and the server misheard my date and thought he said to put the 5p change in the tip jar. He got annoyed at her apparent presumption and pompously took the 5p out of the jar. She apologised and explained she thought he meant to put the change in the jar and he put it back in but it was too late by then. I had the ick good and proper.

😮

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 05/08/2024 18:41

CrazyChefDoDoDoDoDoDo · 05/08/2024 18:15

This is awful! What stopped you from saying something at the time? Or was it just being flabbergasted at his selfishness.

When I met my DH he was unemployed and skint. We met up for lunch because I needed to borrow something from him. I ate but he didn't because he literally couldn't afford to. But had driven to meet me on my lunch break to lend me something. He had no expectations of me paying, but he still wanted to see me and help me out. That didn't give me the ick. It made me realise seeing me and helping me was more important to him than his pride. Obviously I've never mentioned it since because he's probably still a bit embarrassed. And now employed so all's well that ends well!

Show quote history

Sorry but unless there is some sort of other information that you haven't included, that is pretty awful behaviour from you. He arranged to meet you to bring you something in your lunch hour, couldn't afford to eat so didn't - but you could so you did? And didn't share/offer to pay for something for him to eat in return?

Nightjar33 · 05/08/2024 18:42

How miserable! the staff depend on tips. I always tip abroad and in the UK
yes better off without him

AllyArty · 05/08/2024 18:46

Mean with money = mean spirited = better off without him!
There are 2 issues: tipping and splitting the bill equally-you should have paid the same amount as each other and there should have been a few quid included for the service.

Notsuchafattynow · 05/08/2024 18:48

doodlejump1980 · 04/08/2024 17:49

Plus I was temporarily deaf from the thunderclap of my fanny slamming shut.

this is the best sentence I have ever read on mumsnet.

Agree.

Redwineandcheeseplease01 · 05/08/2024 18:48

Embarrassed to admit as a teenager with very low self esteem I once went out with a guy who was a total freeloader….would drive my car constantly picking all his friends up but never put petrol in, would plead poverty constantly so if we ever did anything it was me that would pay (but miraculously managed to find money to go out with his friends and buy new clothes regularly), I honestly don’t know what on earth I thought I was doing with him. The whole episode of both his and my behaviour makes me cringe.

Fascinate · 05/08/2024 18:53

HazelSchmazel · 04/08/2024 18:04

I assumed that he would realise that I intended a £5 tip. But fair point that it may not have been obvious.

The service was excellent, so I'm sure that wasn't the issue.

Show quote history

If it wasn't obvious, surely he should have asked? Is that £5 a tip or do you want change?

He should not have assumed you wanted to put £5 towards his share

middler · 05/08/2024 18:53

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 05/08/2024 06:09

Thank you for a reasoned response! I don’t know many people who carry cash and I hardly ever do, but I do try to take some to a restaurant. I’ve never been to a cafe or restaurant that don’t add extra to a bill on a card though- what they can’t do is a separate transaction for a tip.

Show quote history

Cash is not relevant. There is always a space for you to tip if you use a card.
I am sorry but all these mental gymnastics to get out of tipping, just leave a darned tip, it's so easy you just add a number at the bottom of the bill, 10% is really easy to do the maths on too.

It's embarrassing to not tip guys sorry- have you seen Reservoir Dogs?
Honestly I would rather go without. lunch the next day that not tip someone who has waited on me....it is that much of a taboo for me to not tip and when I read posts of people trying to norm non tipping I am hear to LOUDLY tell you, you are in a very tight minority indeed. Don't even think of setting foot in the U.S.

Matsukaze · 05/08/2024 18:54

HazelSchmazel · 04/08/2024 18:43

Except that he has just messaged to ask me on a third date.

In his message, he commented on the fact that we ordered the same dish in the restaurant (hence my certainty that the bill was 50/50) and said that it must be a sign of how compatible we are.

Honestly - you just couldn't make it up!

Show quote history

"We may have ordered the same meal but that's where the compatibility ends."