Told to fuck off again

[Aurorausher]

I know it’s nothing like stuff ladies go through but partner just told me to fuck off and get out of his home office. He was putting as much venom as he could into it. It’s happened before and I hate it. I’ve gone out and texted him he’s never to do it again. We are supposed to be meeting friends later, what do I do? He’s not resided and not sure I can be jolly in front of mates

I just left the room because I couldn’t take him complaining about his job again. He said something fed up, but I just said yes and left. Almost immediately he’s on the phone to someone so it’s not that important that it’s me he’s talking to.
this isn’t much fun actually. But what do other husbands do?
do yours get in, watch tv, eat and go to bed about 8.30 to watch films in bed? What do you do in the evenings?
In the morning I take him coffee and listen to him talk about work.
what Do other people do?!

Other people don’t make themselves feel better by crapping on their partner. He’s making himself feel big in comparison to how small he tries to make you.

You really need to work on your own life and stop thinking about him.
Walking out when he’s boring is a good start.
You are till gravitating around him and his needs.
Start organising yourself. What matters isn’t what other men do. What matters is what you want to do.

Do you know what I'd be doing? I'd be taking the scissors to the shirts I ironed that he wanted to iron again.

And I would not be ironing the moany old arsehole's shirts ever again.

It sounds like a miserable existence for you. Why don't you leave?

I appreciate all relationships and people are different, however my partner and I have never ever sworn at each other like that and I’d be gutted if he ever did even if it was a bad mood or whatever. If you say he’s done it before then I’d think he will do it again. Sounds horrible for you. I’d be so upset.
In the evenings after work we go for a little stroll with the dog, chat about our day/upcoming plans, I make dinner, eat together and watch something on TV, hubby cleans up kitchen from dinner and we go to bed. We really enjoy spending our time together and chatting. I know a lot of couples spend their evenings apart so it’s not uncommon but if you’re not happy with that setup then it sounds like change is needed in one way or another. It’s not much of a partnership if you don’t enjoy being around your partner or vice versa.

Thanks everyone.
I am getting ready to move on. Your help has been invaluable catalyst in helping me notice and realize what’s ok and what’s not. Im definitely a slowly cooked shrimp!

Well bloody done!! You have so little to lose and so much to gain ❤️

Do you have somewhere to go?

I have just seen this thread for the first time and wow, OP I’m so glad and proud to see your last message.

You have done brilliantly getting therapy and seeking support on here to get you in the right place to make your decisions. I promise you, you will not regret walking away, it will be hard, but when the dust settles and you have processed your emotions, you will feel like a new person.

i was in a similar situation myself, and one of the best days of my life was when we finally split.

best of luck to you 😊

Good on you for seeking therapy. He swears at you. He belittles you. He whinges about how his shirts are ironed. He continually puts you down to the point where you are anxious and walking on eggshells around him. He's not a good man and not someone you want to waste any more time on. Good that you are getting ready to move on. Seek appropriate advice from a solicitor about divorcing him.

Thank you everyone.
you are brilliant, and I must say therapy is too. I have had a free 6 weeks off the people that you get locally a few years before and it was ok, but actually not helpful. The lady just repeated what I’d said and while I was in floods of tears, would say,’times up’ so no warning or getting you into a positive emotion state before you left. So I’d leave more helpless than before I went in.

but I must say now Im paying privately the difference is amazing. It’s a fortune but I think it’s worth it. I justify it as all the haircuts/ faccream/ clothes I’ve not bought over the years 😁. Baby steps, but plans are firming! It’s exciting!

Really glad to hear that the therapy is helping. Keep going - you will get there 💪

Gosh thanks! How lovely to get a 💪 arrivederla that as given me such a boost!

@Aurorausher you sound so refreshed! Like someone coming back from holiday! Keep going and keep us updated!