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Original poster

Separated still in love family holiday booked

112 replies

Anonymous280684 · 27/07/2024 19:39

We have been separated a few months I still love my husband we have 3 kids and a family holiday booked for 3 weeks time my husband is going with the children regardless he's said I should go to relax and have fun as a family and be "friends" I want to go in the hope it'll bring us closer and rekindle, however I'm scared to go in fear of rejection and it making things worse what should I do?

OP posts:
SauviGone · 27/07/2024 19:43

You’re separated, are you living separately?

Is he an active hands-on father or does he want you to come on holiday as you’re the default parent and it means he can relax while you do all the parenting for him?

Whatever you do absolutely do not go on this holiday if your main aim is to try and rekindle things.

Original poster
Anonymous280684 · 27/07/2024 19:46

Yes he left 3 weeks ago
No he's a very good dad and very hands on
Ok thank you for the advice😊

OP posts:
StormingNorman · 27/07/2024 19:48

Don’t go. He wants to co parent and be friends. You’re seeing it as a chance to get back together. This will only end in you getting hurt even more.

PermanentlyFullLaundryBasket · 27/07/2024 19:50

Why did you separate?

Original poster
Anonymous280684 · 27/07/2024 19:51

Thank you

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 27/07/2024 19:52

It's the hope that kills. Please don't.

VirginiaGirl · 27/07/2024 19:55

I did this and it was very hard, I cried a lot on that holiday but I don't regret it now. It was entirely exH’s decision that we separated. Holiday was already booked.

5 years on and we both have new partners and an amicable relationship.

Original poster
Anonymous280684 · 27/07/2024 19:57

I have had difficulty with mental health I was in a really dark place unsure of our future or any future for that matter, I'm getting the help and support now and ultimately know i love my husband and want to fix our marriage in time, it was straining on my husband and we agreed he'd move out whilst I got some help give hime time to reflect too as now he's unsure of our future as I put him through a lot of emotional turmoil and ultimately has said he wants to give it time to see if feelings and trust can be regained but in the meantime be friends for the sake of our children we have been together for 20 years and married 15 years.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anonymous280684 · 27/07/2024 20:00

Thankyou I know the children really want me to go but they also want our family back together again too

OP posts:
Original poster
Anonymous280684 · 27/07/2024 20:00

😪😪 thank you.

OP posts:
LizzieBennett73 · 27/07/2024 20:08

Don't do it. It'll give you and the children false hope. It's just too hard. Give him the chance to take the children and book something special for yourself instead.

Original poster
Anonymous280684 · 27/07/2024 20:09

Thank you 😊

OP posts:
Ginnnny · 27/07/2024 20:17

He’s said he wants to give it time to see if things can be rekindled - this holiday might be the perfect opportunity. He sees you happy and relaxed and enjoying time with DCs the flame might reignite for him? Does he know you want to get back together?

Original poster
Anonymous280684 · 27/07/2024 20:20

Yes I've been very open and gone straight with my feelings.
Hes said to give it time to see if things can be fixed and feelings to reignite as he's been very hurt and feeling unsure understandably.
That was my hope that being relaxed having fun would rekindle things.

OP posts:
BrightLightTonight · 27/07/2024 20:23

Bless you. Have you spoken to your DH about doing counselling together? It sound like circumstances have driven you apart, and maybe you just need someone to help guide you back together again. Good luck

Original poster
Anonymous280684 · 27/07/2024 20:25

Yes but at the minute he just wants me to focus on getting myself back on track,
I was hoping in time we could get marriage guidance too to help make us stronger I just hope I haven't left it too late now thankyou 🙏

OP posts:
Tbskejue · 27/07/2024 20:25

I would actually go as I think sitting at home knowing they are on holiday enjoying themselves will be just as painful as going.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 27/07/2024 20:27

I would not go. I would be on tenterhooks all the time.

It would be unbearable.

Original poster
Anonymous280684 · 27/07/2024 20:27

I have had lots of friends and family advising this too but as they are emotionally involved i wasn't sure
Thank you

OP posts:
BigMandyHarris · 27/07/2024 20:27

Please go. Just GO @Anonymous280684 xx

drowninginsick · 27/07/2024 20:27

Anonymous280684 · 27/07/2024 20:25

Yes but at the minute he just wants me to focus on getting myself back on track,
I was hoping in time we could get marriage guidance too to help make us stronger I just hope I haven't left it too late now thankyou 🙏

He sounds very sensible, you should get yourself sorted first. Can you go and focus on your kids.

It is not the right time to get back together if you can embrace that and go as parents and friends it might be beneficial

Original poster
Anonymous280684 · 27/07/2024 20:28

Thankyou🥹🥹

OP posts:
Original poster
Anonymous280684 · 27/07/2024 20:29

Thankyou

OP posts:
2chocolateoranges · 27/07/2024 20:29

I would go for the kids sake, I wouldn’t want to miss out on a holiday with my children especially when it’s already booked and paid for.

you can both take a day with the children giving the other person a day to themselves.

EmberAsh · 27/07/2024 20:35

I think you should go. This isn't you desperately chasing an ex who left you.
You suffered some mental difficulties and your marriage hit a bump. It sounds recoverable if you are seeking help and your husband is open to it.