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Threesome went wrong

838 replies

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 10:29

Hi all I'm posting this for a couple of reasons really.
One being I have noone else to get this all of my chest too as I haven't told any friends about it and Two to warn other how a potential threesome could go.

So here goes
I've been seeing a man for about 9 months, he has always treated me very well all the things I had been looking for including No games. Grounded. Mature. Kind . Funny and we have always just clicked from day one.

A couple of months ago we spoke about sexual fantasies his being a threesome, he said he would never make me feel pressured to do this though & was happy for it just to be a fantasy. As time went on I felt more comfortable with him sexually & said I would like to explore this with him .
He was clearly very excited & got to work straight away on joining dating sites & sites aimed for swinging / threesomes.
I left all that side to him as I'm not really into messaging people back & forth.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago he msg me and told me he has found someone, she would like to explore with us as a couple

He sent me the conversation between them and the photos they had exchanged, it was all very open and he said I could change my mind at any time ( which I have felt I can do)
We had arranged to meet her this friday just gone.
The past 2 weeks leading up to it, she is all he has spoken about it was like he was obsessed , i just said to myself well once it is out if his system maybe he wint be going on and on about her so much.
To cut a long story short ... we met her friday evening, I found her very attractive and there was an instant chemistry between us.
We all chatted for a while and then she made it clear she would like to take things further that evening so we booked into a hotel.
The thing is , she seemed very keen on me and was all over me , kissing touching etc. The man I'm seeing was initially into it he then turned and said to her can I join in now and she said no not yet I just want to be with her for a minute , so he respected that.
As things progressed she only wanted me , I stopped and asked her are you actually gay? Or not attracted to my boyfriend? That's ok if either of those things are correct however we were after a threesome, she then kissed him for a while and they started doing other things together ... I could see her actually wince though as if she just was not attracted to him in the slightest ... she kept turning back towards me and when he put his hand on her leg to get involved she said no and moved his hand off her.
It was all a bit awkward however I was quite enjoying being with her , I looked over at my boyfriend and he looked very angry , I had never seen him like this before!
She then went to the bathroom and he turned to me and said that he doenst want the threesome to continue and that he was going to offer to pay for her cab.
He was very short with me and it was clear he wasnt having a good time so I agreed.
When she came out of the bathroom I was polite and friendly and said it wasnt working for us as a couple and we would call her a cab. I was so embarrassed about my boyfriend's behaviour as he was grumpy now and didnt speak to her before she left. I walked her out to the cab gave a hug and said goodbye.
When I walked back into the hotel room my boyfriend was very cross and said shes obsessed with you! I said to him I'm so confused this is what your fantasy you have said for a long time that you wanted to see me with another woman .I understand she was more attracted to me then him however I couldnt help this.
Anyway his behaviour has now given me the ick and I dont think I want to see him anymore!. We went to sleep that evening and the next morning we went for breakfast he moaned about how expensive the bill for breakfast was ( it really wasn't) I had never seen him behave like this before now.
I offered to pay for it just to keep him quiet and to stop the moaning although it was his turn to pay as we often take turns.
I paid for the breakfast we got up to leave and his whole attitude was miserable. I tried talking to him and he was having none of it , again something I've never seen in him before as we have always communicated well.
By Saturday afternoon I was ready to go home , we had the weekend planned together but something had switched inside me after seeing him like this and I made my excuses and said I needed to get back as my children were coming back early . I made it up but I just had to leave , I couldn't stand to be around him.
I feel like theres no going back from this.
Any advice over what to do please?
Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
haveatye · 22/07/2024 11:57

Also reminded me of this https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=koAmdMi7-78

Watchkeys · 22/07/2024 11:58

@yousexybugger

I would say threesomes are, in my mind, either for casual fun or practiced swingers, not spicing up an invested relationship with no experience of how to manage group dynamics

How do you get to be practiced swingers, though? Surely that's a definition of an invested relationship who must have started with a first time?

libertybonds · 22/07/2024 11:58

I would bin him. And no judgement here 😊

Conkersinautumn · 22/07/2024 11:58

She sounds into you, that part wasn't a failure at least. Shame about the bf being petulant. It could have been great with a more ooen minded bf. I have to admit I've only tried a threesome twice and both times ended up with the 'third' who was female.

SoddingSoda · 22/07/2024 11:59

Most men struggle to fulfil one woman’s needs… but porn has made men think that two women would be fulfilled from just worshipping him.

He thought you both would be worshipping him.

His bubble has been completely popped. He’s probably had the same fantasy for years and now he doesn’t know what to think. Zero empathy for him. As other posters said, it’s quite funny.

I’m also agreeing with other posters, you should message her!!!

I was in a very similar boat in my early twenties. I was the extra and I think it broke up that couple too.

Wombats77 · 22/07/2024 11:59

Not read the full thread but I'd dump the bloke and date the woman, personally.

runrabbitruns · 22/07/2024 12:00

He’s having a tantrum because a woman said no to him and didn’t massage his ego. Bless his cotton socks . Get rid immediately OP.

Boogiemam · 22/07/2024 12:00

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OP didn't buck on the dining room table while the kids were doing their homework ya know. Do you not have a sex life with your husband?

Daleksatemyshed · 22/07/2024 12:00

Op, your BF's favourite fantasy has just gone up the wall and I'm not surprised he's grumpy but it's not your fault, no way should you be trying to apologise. In his fantasy you and she would do and say all the right things and you'd both want him and it would be great, reality bit his arse because she didn't fancy him.

twilightcafe · 22/07/2024 12:01

Icannoteven · 22/07/2024 11:24

😂 sounds like he imagined a threesome would involve having two women focussing on his pleasure, worshipping him and what he got was two women ignoring him and focussing on their own. Dump him, call her.

What was this man-child expecting?

His girlfriend is intrigued enough by women that she's happy to have a threesome. And then enjoys the sex with a female more than she thought.
Of course the man will be superfluous to requirements. Grin

Dump the bloke, OP. You owe him nothing. You are a free agent and a grown woman. Go and have some fun elsewhere. It doesn't have to lead to marriage.

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 12:01

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It's ok... they weren't there , they were at halls in uni 🤣🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
yousexybugger · 22/07/2024 12:02

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She 'got into it' consensually trying something new with a partner she is/was close to.

Granted, it didn't go to plan but why on earth do you pity her grown up kids?! What have they got to do with anything? I'm sure whilst they'd rather walk across hot coals than think about their mother's love life, they don't begrudge her one.

What's revolting about a threes-up?! Goodness

runrabbitruns · 22/07/2024 12:03

I hope you message the woman as it sounds like you had real chemistry.

HaveSomeIntrospect · 22/07/2024 12:04

The children weren’t there 😂

twilightcafe · 22/07/2024 12:05

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 11:39

Yes we did 🤭🤣 I know it's so random, definitely an experience I tell you!

Derailing - but I'm sure others want to know...

So did the hotel reception just check you all in no questions asked, or were eyebrows raised when three people checked in for one room?

Epidote · 22/07/2024 12:05

He wanted to have sex with two women at the same time. It is all about him.
The huffing and puffing is proof of what he wants, be the centre of the attention.
Dump him.

LizzeyBenett · 22/07/2024 12:05

Poor make ego got hurt it's hilarious but also i don't think bringing anyone else into a relationship will ever end well imo. Men have these fantasies in their head I would wager the real thing never lives up to the fantasy

HesterRoon · 22/07/2024 12:06

This is why most fantasies should stay fantasies! I have all sorts of fantasies that I would never try or want IRL. But I think time’s up for the bf. I bet he won’t do this again!

Noodlehen · 22/07/2024 12:07

I would have the biggest ick about his behaviour the two weeks prior, and the sulking since but I completely get why he’d have been annoyed during the actual event - he’s your partner not her and you two should have been the priority. You should never have continued after you watched her “wince” at your boyfriend, even if you were enjoying it.

AutumnFroglets · 22/07/2024 12:07

Woman then attempts to appease, treading on eggshells, taking on extra responsibility including looking after third party and paying for breakfast.

I can understand why you were kind to the other woman but why are you not getting him to be responsible for it too? Stop picking up the pieces and trying to make him feel better like you would a child. It's this part that would give me the ick as it's mummy and manchild vibes.

Even if you don't contact this particular woman again I think you should explore this side of your sexuality again. Oh.... and don't get back with this man, he will keep finding ways to punish you for it.

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 12:08

twilightcafe · 22/07/2024 12:05

Derailing - but I'm sure others want to know...

So did the hotel reception just check you all in no questions asked, or were eyebrows raised when three people checked in for one room?

She didn't bat an eyelid , it was a very nice hotel as well... I expect they have seen it all working in a hotel!

OP posts:
fluffiphlox · 22/07/2024 12:08

GingerScallop · 22/07/2024 11:49

@fluffiphlox Oh your dear Queen was partial to an orgy. Never a threesome life for her, you are right there. Always a full blown gang bang.

I used an old joke made about Queen Victoria in relation to an onstage depiction of Cleopatra. I have no particular fondness for the Royals.
Most people have a sex life and I don’t really care what people do in their own bedrooms.

DreadPirateRobots · 22/07/2024 12:09

This is pretty fucking funny, because he made the stupid male-gaze male-privilege mistake of thinking sex between women was fundamentally a performance for the titillation of men, like it is in "lesbian" porn made for men, rather than something they actually, independently, enjoyed, which really has nothing to do with a dick. He's a misogynist idiot who thinks women are sex toys.

Whatever else you do, dump him for his unattractive tantrum and shitty self-centred views.

Chrsytalchondalier · 22/07/2024 12:09

Sorry haven't RTFT. Hilarious. How original of him to have a threesome fantasy 🙄 and so funny she wasn't keen. I'd just go for it with her if you'd like to explore that, and thank him for introducing you both 🤣
I can't help thinking he was being a bit of a dick, but then I can't really blame him either as it was meant to be the three of you. It reminds me of Ross and his ex wife from Friends

PeriIsKickingMyButt · 22/07/2024 12:09

Watchkeys · 22/07/2024 11:58

@yousexybugger

I would say threesomes are, in my mind, either for casual fun or practiced swingers, not spicing up an invested relationship with no experience of how to manage group dynamics

How do you get to be practiced swingers, though? Surely that's a definition of an invested relationship who must have started with a first time?

Yes true, but in our experience we built up to a three some and didn't jump in to that right off the bat. There are tamer things you can do

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