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Threesome went wrong

838 replies

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 10:29

Hi all I'm posting this for a couple of reasons really.
One being I have noone else to get this all of my chest too as I haven't told any friends about it and Two to warn other how a potential threesome could go.

So here goes
I've been seeing a man for about 9 months, he has always treated me very well all the things I had been looking for including No games. Grounded. Mature. Kind . Funny and we have always just clicked from day one.

A couple of months ago we spoke about sexual fantasies his being a threesome, he said he would never make me feel pressured to do this though & was happy for it just to be a fantasy. As time went on I felt more comfortable with him sexually & said I would like to explore this with him .
He was clearly very excited & got to work straight away on joining dating sites & sites aimed for swinging / threesomes.
I left all that side to him as I'm not really into messaging people back & forth.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago he msg me and told me he has found someone, she would like to explore with us as a couple

He sent me the conversation between them and the photos they had exchanged, it was all very open and he said I could change my mind at any time ( which I have felt I can do)
We had arranged to meet her this friday just gone.
The past 2 weeks leading up to it, she is all he has spoken about it was like he was obsessed , i just said to myself well once it is out if his system maybe he wint be going on and on about her so much.
To cut a long story short ... we met her friday evening, I found her very attractive and there was an instant chemistry between us.
We all chatted for a while and then she made it clear she would like to take things further that evening so we booked into a hotel.
The thing is , she seemed very keen on me and was all over me , kissing touching etc. The man I'm seeing was initially into it he then turned and said to her can I join in now and she said no not yet I just want to be with her for a minute , so he respected that.
As things progressed she only wanted me , I stopped and asked her are you actually gay? Or not attracted to my boyfriend? That's ok if either of those things are correct however we were after a threesome, she then kissed him for a while and they started doing other things together ... I could see her actually wince though as if she just was not attracted to him in the slightest ... she kept turning back towards me and when he put his hand on her leg to get involved she said no and moved his hand off her.
It was all a bit awkward however I was quite enjoying being with her , I looked over at my boyfriend and he looked very angry , I had never seen him like this before!
She then went to the bathroom and he turned to me and said that he doenst want the threesome to continue and that he was going to offer to pay for her cab.
He was very short with me and it was clear he wasnt having a good time so I agreed.
When she came out of the bathroom I was polite and friendly and said it wasnt working for us as a couple and we would call her a cab. I was so embarrassed about my boyfriend's behaviour as he was grumpy now and didnt speak to her before she left. I walked her out to the cab gave a hug and said goodbye.
When I walked back into the hotel room my boyfriend was very cross and said shes obsessed with you! I said to him I'm so confused this is what your fantasy you have said for a long time that you wanted to see me with another woman .I understand she was more attracted to me then him however I couldnt help this.
Anyway his behaviour has now given me the ick and I dont think I want to see him anymore!. We went to sleep that evening and the next morning we went for breakfast he moaned about how expensive the bill for breakfast was ( it really wasn't) I had never seen him behave like this before now.
I offered to pay for it just to keep him quiet and to stop the moaning although it was his turn to pay as we often take turns.
I paid for the breakfast we got up to leave and his whole attitude was miserable. I tried talking to him and he was having none of it , again something I've never seen in him before as we have always communicated well.
By Saturday afternoon I was ready to go home , we had the weekend planned together but something had switched inside me after seeing him like this and I made my excuses and said I needed to get back as my children were coming back early . I made it up but I just had to leave , I couldn't stand to be around him.
I feel like theres no going back from this.
Any advice over what to do please?
Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
MaidOfAle · 22/07/2024 21:55

Thedayb4youcame · 22/07/2024 21:46

Nah. My money's on her never liking him in the first place, and only wanting the OP from the get-go.

Tell me you don't know about the role of pheromones in sexual attraction without telling me that you don't know about the role of pheromones in sexual attraction.

courgettes4eva · 22/07/2024 21:57

Dominoeffecter · 22/07/2024 21:55

Naah, that is not what you said and you know it, have the dignity to own it at least.

oh the entire weekend would honestly have me taking long hot showers to get rid of the memory!

Thedayb4youcame · 22/07/2024 21:58

MaidOfAle · 22/07/2024 21:55

Tell me you don't know about the role of pheromones in sexual attraction without telling me that you don't know about the role of pheromones in sexual attraction.

As you wish 😆

boredsoscrollingonMNagain · 22/07/2024 21:58

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 19:55

Its disappointing isnt it?

Wow. What a very insecure man. OP I would get rid and then go and explore your sexuality without a man throwing a tantrum

courgettes4eva · 22/07/2024 21:58

but that’s no judgement on the op

that is judgement of fact she endured a weekend with and even paid for his breakfast of someone like… this 🤢

Thedayb4youcame · 22/07/2024 21:59

MaidOfAle · 22/07/2024 21:51

Does it occur to you that the bad vibe might be the unicorn picking up on the now-ex's sense of entitlement and that said sense of entitlement is what turned her off him?

No it didn't.

Thedayb4youcame · 22/07/2024 22:02

MaidOfAle · 22/07/2024 21:49

Sexually coercive.

Oh, I see. I thought for a second it was an attempt to lessen what might have been going on.

ScruffGin · 22/07/2024 22:08

Fab news that you're meeting up with her, ignore Mr Crywank, as he'll inevitably try to drag you back in for "his" threesome...

StaunchMomma · 22/07/2024 22:21

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 20:13

Oh dear I've just had to block someone on here that send me a very vile msg , if I've blocked them in msgs will they no longer be able to view this thread ...? I hope not, it was truly disgusting

Oh my days, that is disgusting!!

I've been a bit shocked at the vitriol of some of the messages on this thread, actually. I consider myself a bit of a prude, sexually but my God - the way some have painted you is shocking!

Try not to dwell on it, hun. These idiots are a tiny minority and their issues are their own, not yours.

Lacky301 · 22/07/2024 22:25

So the poor bloke was excluded and ignored and now his partner is hooking up with the woman doesn't seem very nice despite the sulking but I suppose I'm in the minority.

PansyPolly · 22/07/2024 22:28

Lacky301 · 22/07/2024 22:25

So the poor bloke was excluded and ignored and now his partner is hooking up with the woman doesn't seem very nice despite the sulking but I suppose I'm in the minority.

, she then kissed him for a while and they started doing other things together ... I could see her actually wince though as if she just was not attracted to him in the slightest ... she kept turning back towards me and when he put his hand on her leg to get involved she said no and moved his hand off her.

Which OP did you read? He was not excluded and ignored - the woman tried kissing him for a while but couldn’t get into it - maybe his attitude, maybe she didn’t like the way he kissed, whatever. She was absolutely allowed to say no.

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 22:29

courgettes4eva · 22/07/2024 21:58

but that’s no judgement on the op

that is judgement of fact she endured a weekend with and even paid for his breakfast of someone like… this 🤢

Ok so he was still my boyfriend and had been for sometime leading up to this evening. I was of the mind set of trying to empathise with him at this point that they threesome ( his long term fantasy) had gone wrong for him.
I was giving him a chance to calm down, process and maybe apologise, after all this was only the morning after it had all happened and still all very raw and new.
Obviously I now realise what an absolute isiot he has turned out to be

OP posts:
MildredSauce · 22/07/2024 22:29

Lacky301 · 22/07/2024 22:25

So the poor bloke was excluded and ignored and now his partner is hooking up with the woman doesn't seem very nice despite the sulking but I suppose I'm in the minority.

Let's hope you are, love.

PansyPolly · 22/07/2024 22:31

And the woman probably clocked his anger (!!) and went to the bathroom to get away from it and to give OP a chance to talk to her partner.

courgettes4eva · 22/07/2024 22:31

over the previous 9 months … had he given no hint he was this… pathetic?

Had you said “i love you”

lucky escape op

MrsLighthouse · 22/07/2024 22:43

Poor him ..didn’t get his own way and now he’s grumpy . Boo hoo. Dump him . He’s a spoilt brat. I wouldn’t even look back. You sound like a sexy open minded woman don’t waste your time on a mean spirited baby.

Branleuse · 22/07/2024 22:49

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 22/07/2024 17:56

Ride her like a seabiscuit? Is that a common expression?

Not common enough.

Unhappy4500 · 22/07/2024 22:52

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 15:03

It definitely happened... believe me I am still stunned with myself for going ahead with it ... the old me would never have even imagined, however I am at a stage in my life where I am experimenting a little. I am very glad it happened as I've discovered I am probably bi sexual...

Nothing wrong with being bi sexual x

Lacky301 · 22/07/2024 22:53

MildredSauce · 22/07/2024 22:29

Let's hope you are, love.

She agreed to a threesome and then wasn't attracted to the male participant sounds like her sexuality is already determined and she should never have agreed to this threesome.

Ellie56 · 22/07/2024 23:04

Ha ha! Side lined in his own fantasy! Grin

Persiancouscous · 22/07/2024 23:07

Lacky301 · 22/07/2024 22:53

She agreed to a threesome and then wasn't attracted to the male participant sounds like her sexuality is already determined and she should never have agreed to this threesome.

Only because she agreed to a threesome, doesn't mean she can't change her mind.

Maybe he had too small of a pecker, he had dirty nails, he had a third nipple or maybe she didn't feel comfortable when she was just relaxing with the woman in the scenario and decided that a pushy entitled guy was getting very unattractive with his "eating shit face look"

Alicewinn · 22/07/2024 23:13

Why don’t you give her a call ? She sounds way more fun !

mummyrolling2014 · 22/07/2024 23:13

I find the actions of the woman a bit strange. She knows you were a couple wanting a threesome so really odd she was pushing him away. She knows what she signed up for. Maybe when she saw him for real she just wasn't attracted to him which is fine but then she should have said that straight away. She knew you both wanted a 'threesome' and she turned it into a 'twosome'. I get why he's pissed off but also agree that men need to be realistic about the reality of fantasies and maybe keep them just as that.

NonPlayerCharacter · 22/07/2024 23:19

Lacky301 · 22/07/2024 22:25

So the poor bloke was excluded and ignored and now his partner is hooking up with the woman doesn't seem very nice despite the sulking but I suppose I'm in the minority.

Indeed you are, mate.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

savethatkitty · 22/07/2024 23:20

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 20:28

No just blocked, how do I do this?

I wish I could circle it.... when someone posts something, see how down the bottom you can "quote " "thanks" "report" is also down there. So go to the trolls post & you should be able to see report at the bottom....