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Threesome went wrong

838 replies

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 10:29

Hi all I'm posting this for a couple of reasons really.
One being I have noone else to get this all of my chest too as I haven't told any friends about it and Two to warn other how a potential threesome could go.

So here goes
I've been seeing a man for about 9 months, he has always treated me very well all the things I had been looking for including No games. Grounded. Mature. Kind . Funny and we have always just clicked from day one.

A couple of months ago we spoke about sexual fantasies his being a threesome, he said he would never make me feel pressured to do this though & was happy for it just to be a fantasy. As time went on I felt more comfortable with him sexually & said I would like to explore this with him .
He was clearly very excited & got to work straight away on joining dating sites & sites aimed for swinging / threesomes.
I left all that side to him as I'm not really into messaging people back & forth.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago he msg me and told me he has found someone, she would like to explore with us as a couple

He sent me the conversation between them and the photos they had exchanged, it was all very open and he said I could change my mind at any time ( which I have felt I can do)
We had arranged to meet her this friday just gone.
The past 2 weeks leading up to it, she is all he has spoken about it was like he was obsessed , i just said to myself well once it is out if his system maybe he wint be going on and on about her so much.
To cut a long story short ... we met her friday evening, I found her very attractive and there was an instant chemistry between us.
We all chatted for a while and then she made it clear she would like to take things further that evening so we booked into a hotel.
The thing is , she seemed very keen on me and was all over me , kissing touching etc. The man I'm seeing was initially into it he then turned and said to her can I join in now and she said no not yet I just want to be with her for a minute , so he respected that.
As things progressed she only wanted me , I stopped and asked her are you actually gay? Or not attracted to my boyfriend? That's ok if either of those things are correct however we were after a threesome, she then kissed him for a while and they started doing other things together ... I could see her actually wince though as if she just was not attracted to him in the slightest ... she kept turning back towards me and when he put his hand on her leg to get involved she said no and moved his hand off her.
It was all a bit awkward however I was quite enjoying being with her , I looked over at my boyfriend and he looked very angry , I had never seen him like this before!
She then went to the bathroom and he turned to me and said that he doenst want the threesome to continue and that he was going to offer to pay for her cab.
He was very short with me and it was clear he wasnt having a good time so I agreed.
When she came out of the bathroom I was polite and friendly and said it wasnt working for us as a couple and we would call her a cab. I was so embarrassed about my boyfriend's behaviour as he was grumpy now and didnt speak to her before she left. I walked her out to the cab gave a hug and said goodbye.
When I walked back into the hotel room my boyfriend was very cross and said shes obsessed with you! I said to him I'm so confused this is what your fantasy you have said for a long time that you wanted to see me with another woman .I understand she was more attracted to me then him however I couldnt help this.
Anyway his behaviour has now given me the ick and I dont think I want to see him anymore!. We went to sleep that evening and the next morning we went for breakfast he moaned about how expensive the bill for breakfast was ( it really wasn't) I had never seen him behave like this before now.
I offered to pay for it just to keep him quiet and to stop the moaning although it was his turn to pay as we often take turns.
I paid for the breakfast we got up to leave and his whole attitude was miserable. I tried talking to him and he was having none of it , again something I've never seen in him before as we have always communicated well.
By Saturday afternoon I was ready to go home , we had the weekend planned together but something had switched inside me after seeing him like this and I made my excuses and said I needed to get back as my children were coming back early . I made it up but I just had to leave , I couldn't stand to be around him.
I feel like theres no going back from this.
Any advice over what to do please?
Thanks in advance

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 19:58

I'm meeting my new friend this week for lunch for those interested. Weve had a chat over msgs and she said she got a bad vibe from my now ex boyfriend, which i found interesting. She said shes had alot of threesomes and he gave an entitled attitude that she picked up on straight away & said she found me a more attractive person. We are going out just the two of us on Thursday:) I'm actually nervous

OP posts:
Unhappy4500 · 22/07/2024 19:58

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 19:55

Its disappointing isnt it?

You can do better x

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 19:58

Unhappy4500 · 22/07/2024 19:58

You can do better x

Thank you , we have split now x

OP posts:
Unhappy4500 · 22/07/2024 19:59

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 19:58

Thank you , we have split now x

I know and did you get my reply to your message x

taxguru · 22/07/2024 19:59

VividQuoter · 22/07/2024 19:47

by the sound of it, you are now a lesbian, my dear

No, it's not a binary thing of either being hetro or being gay. There's an awful lot of middle ground, including simple exploration which may or may not lead to a same sex relationship. Lots of people are Bi, or just want to explore, and lots revert back to being hetro afterwards, just as some will move over to being gay.

Pusheen467 · 22/07/2024 20:00

Wait so are you meeting the woman from the failed threesome? I absolutely love this lol and I hope this is real and you live happily ever after together whilst your ex sits and cry-wanks alone.

DancingLions · 22/07/2024 20:00

Somewhat off topic but...I am relatively open minded as to what other people do, whilst not being particularly adventurous myself! But live and let live and all that.

But I do cringe at the use of the word "play" in these contexts. To me, playing is something innocent children do and to give it sexual connotations just feels off to me. Surely within our wealth of language, another term could have been found?

I mean yeah in OPs situation her now ex did act like a spoilt brat who didn't get his "turn". But still I don't really like it.

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 20:01

Pusheen467 · 22/07/2024 20:00

Wait so are you meeting the woman from the failed threesome? I absolutely love this lol and I hope this is real and you live happily ever after together whilst your ex sits and cry-wanks alone.

Yes I am but just for a chat / lunch during the day ro actually get to know one another nothing sexual :)

OP posts:
Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 20:02

Pusheen467 · 22/07/2024 20:00

Wait so are you meeting the woman from the failed threesome? I absolutely love this lol and I hope this is real and you live happily ever after together whilst your ex sits and cry-wanks alone.

Well I wouldnt wish a crywank on anyone but thanks 👌🤣 x

OP posts:
taxguru · 22/07/2024 20:02

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 19:58

Thank you , we have split now x

Good for you, now get that date sorted with her whilst you're in the mood to see where it may lead. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. If it doesn't work out, you've lost nothing, but gained a little fun/experience. The hard part is behind you, i.e. making the first move with each other. You'll probably have a fun/enjoyable date even if you don't do anything intimate as it sounds like you got on well, even before going back to the hotel room.

Royalshyness · 22/07/2024 20:05

I actually think this is an amazing and empowering situation op (read a bit of this morning and only catching up now)

good for you !! Enjoy Thursday

Dominoeffecter · 22/07/2024 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You are vile

ReadingSoManyThreads · 22/07/2024 20:10

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 19:58

I'm meeting my new friend this week for lunch for those interested. Weve had a chat over msgs and she said she got a bad vibe from my now ex boyfriend, which i found interesting. She said shes had alot of threesomes and he gave an entitled attitude that she picked up on straight away & said she found me a more attractive person. We are going out just the two of us on Thursday:) I'm actually nervous

YEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Be sure to update us!!!!

Gagaandgag · 22/07/2024 20:11

I kind of feel for him. I know a lot of people are saying his behaviour is immature (and it is) but maybe he’s had this fantasy for years and couldn’t believe he actually got a chance of acting it out. He felt rejected and excluded.

WetBandits · 22/07/2024 20:13

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 19:58

I'm meeting my new friend this week for lunch for those interested. Weve had a chat over msgs and she said she got a bad vibe from my now ex boyfriend, which i found interesting. She said shes had alot of threesomes and he gave an entitled attitude that she picked up on straight away & said she found me a more attractive person. We are going out just the two of us on Thursday:) I'm actually nervous

Yeeees!! Enjoy the orgasms Grin

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 20:13

Oh dear I've just had to block someone on here that send me a very vile msg , if I've blocked them in msgs will they no longer be able to view this thread ...? I hope not, it was truly disgusting

OP posts:
Twilight7777 · 22/07/2024 20:15

He’s given me the ick reading it! I would contact the woman though, sounds like there was a good connection there. Edit, I’ve just seen the update! Yay!

MildredSauce · 22/07/2024 20:17

Gagaandgag · 22/07/2024 20:11

I kind of feel for him. I know a lot of people are saying his behaviour is immature (and it is) but maybe he’s had this fantasy for years and couldn’t believe he actually got a chance of acting it out. He felt rejected and excluded.

So feeling rejected and excluded excuses you from acting like an emotionally intelligent adult?

DryIce · 22/07/2024 20:17

Oh I love this thread! Well done OP, sorry he turned out to be a bit disappointing but congratulations for making the decision to leave when you realised!

I think your new friend shows an unforeseen benefit of threesomes - a third party view of your partner in a sexual context, not something we get very often! Interesting that she pulled up entitled - I know we've said it in the thread, but I appreciate we are just viewing one incident (and although he brought it all on himself I do feel a bit sorry for him that his much longed for ice cream wasn't quite the flavour he had anticipated!) - does that tendancy extend beyond the bedroom?

savethatkitty · 22/07/2024 20:21

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 20:13

Oh dear I've just had to block someone on here that send me a very vile msg , if I've blocked them in msgs will they no longer be able to view this thread ...? I hope not, it was truly disgusting

Did you hit "report" tab?1

Dominoeffecter · 22/07/2024 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

😂😂😂 Omg, a puritan in the wild

Lemon1111 · 22/07/2024 20:23

I’m rooting for you! Everything happens for a reason.. I’ve genuinely never been so excited for someone I haven’t met! Have a great time on Thursday with no pressure.. You might find you become good friends!…But If your ex gives you a hard time in the next few days, you could always send a selfie of you both on your ‘date’ 😁

BirthdayRainbow · 22/07/2024 20:25

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 20:13

Oh dear I've just had to block someone on here that send me a very vile msg , if I've blocked them in msgs will they no longer be able to view this thread ...? I hope not, it was truly disgusting

I've reported this post so MNHQ can help.

Gagaandgag · 22/07/2024 20:25

MildredSauce · 22/07/2024 20:17

So feeling rejected and excluded excuses you from acting like an emotionally intelligent adult?

Of course not and his behaviour is very immature and off putting of course. After reading the update about the newly arranged suggestion of her watching I feel less sympathy for him

Cherryblossom85 · 22/07/2024 20:28

savethatkitty · 22/07/2024 20:21

Did you hit "report" tab?1

No just blocked, how do I do this?

OP posts: